April 25, 2010: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Apparently the countless years of round-the-clock angry nagging and screaming by Loretta has caught up with Leroy's hearing. For Loretta this is just another physical flaw for her to exploit. I still haven't ruled out the possibility that Leroy is faking his hearing loss in the hopes that Loretta stops or cuts back on the nagging, but Leroy should know that it will only cause Loretta to talk even louder and to repeat everything. The only real option for him would be to permanently injure his ear drums and go completely deaf. Loretta starts off the day with the point.
• Loretta pulls off a graceful double strike at Leroy with only one statement. First she's extorting more of Leroy's hard earned money to blow on giant shoes or another identical black dress or whatever she buys at the mall. Secondly she concurrently insults him by stating how his earnings are so pathetic and meager that he can only afford to pay the minimum payment on the credit cards. Of course, given Loretta's reckless charging habits, it's no surprise that Leroy can only afford the monthly minimum. Still, Loretta takes a commanding 2-0 lead.
• I think we all share Loretta's dumbfounded shock and horror at Leroy's horrifying attempt to "make our party livelier" by having a threesome with Loretta and some poor bimbo from the local escort service. It seems that Leroy has a fetish for the old high school cheerleader look (he's probably a big "Debbie Does Dallas" fan). Let's hope (dear God, let's hope!) that this is some elaborate prank by Leroy to freak out and embarrass Loretta rather than any sort of general attempt at sexual relations...for all our sakes. Leroy cuts the lead to 2-1.
  
• Now this is the sort of threesome action I expect from the Lockhorns: Leroy, Loretta, and the familiar warm numbing glow of the television. Leroy thought he had won the night by managing to avoid an evening out with Loretta to the movies or the opera, but he did not expect that Loretta would still find a way to annoy and belittle him in front of others from what he thought was the apparent safety of his own home. That's some commendable resourcefulness by Loretta. Loretta locks up the day 3-1.
  
• I don't even know why the Lockhorns even go on vacations, between the intrusive airport security, antagonistic servers, and high costs, they are clearly more miserable while on a trip then at home. In an admirable display of vengeful spite Leroy has "forgotten" his razor, toothbrush, and camera, which would seemingly insure that he will be unkempt and unhygienic for the rest of the trip but there will be no photographic evidence for Loretta to later use. Leroy salvages a point but still falls short. Loretta takes the day, 3-2.
  

Official Count:

Leroy - 35
Loretta - 44
Push - 35