Official Count:
Leroy - 118
Loretta - 151
Push - 92
Showing posts with label Push. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Push. Show all posts
Friday, December 27, 2013
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Sunday, December 22, 2013
December 22, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- If it is eye trouble, Leroy must be suffering from some severe eye problems. His face is almost touching the gigantic flat screen television. At that point, I don't even think he'll be able to see any better. If it isn't the sudden onset of blindness the other explanation, he's so desperate for female ogling that even the new weather girl on the local news broadcast becomes an event, might be even sadder. There might be a third option, that he is in some sort of catatonic state since all I see is a blank white screen. Whatever the case may be Loretta wastes no time exploiting it to earn a point. Loretta leads 1-0.
- Updating the home thermostat to a fancy modern password protected model seems like an implausibly tech savvy action by Leroy. Though he has been known to have shocking displays of intelligence when it comes to being cheap, especially if it antagonizes Loretta. I wouldn't have expected the cooler home temperature to bother Loretta all that much since we all know her heart pumps frigid ice water instead of blood. It's a push. Loretta still leads 1-0.
- That's how you play the game Leroy. Take a weakness (in this case your rampant alcoholism) and use it as a means to make Loretta angry. I'm surprised that Leroy was even allowed to go to a party without Loretta, maybe he left straight from the office. Usually Leroy comes off as more of an angry drunk than the garrulous sort. I guess it depends on his moods. Though he may end up spending the night on the lawn, Leroy scores himself a point and ties the day up 1-1.
- There's really no joke here. If this were a non-Sunday panel I would have a difficult time breaking down Leroy's statement any further. Still, it goes to the heart of the matter: Leroy hates Loretta's mother. Leroy hates Loretta's mother so much that he is allowing Loretta to drive them to her house in the hopes that they'll be involved in a car accident. He probably doesn't even care about possible injury or even death, both of those scenarios would be preferable to spending time with Loretta's mother. Leroy gets the point and takes a 2-1 lead.
- The world may have beaten Leroy's spirit down to a fine ash, but his belief in Santa Claus still oddly remains intact. I would say that is kind of charming if it wasn't driven entirely by a bitter decades long disappointment from his childhood. Does Leroy do this every year? Go to the mall and harass the Santa on duty? Does he really think that's the official Santa? Hasn't he seen Santas in other malls? Also, the sight of the beady eyed mom and her traumatized kid is priceless. Loretta swoops in for the point and ends the penultimate Sunday Showdown of the year in a 2-2 push.
Official Count:
Leroy - 117
Loretta - 149
Push - 90
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 13
Loretta - 21
Push - 17
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Sunday, December 15, 2013
December 15, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Man, I would be much more excited about going to the opera if they threw in some t-shirt canons during the intermission. I know it's a cheap way to generate audience support, but I always manage to get a psyched whenever the launchers come out at a sporting event. A fellow t shirt gun loving friend of mine once looked online to see if he could buy one, but as it turned out they are crazy expensive. I salute you Leroy for dreaming big. Unfortunately I also have to give Loretta the point for pointing out your ridiculous suggestion. Loretta leads 1-0.
- This is a rare reversal for the Lockhorns. I cannot remember the last time Leroy was visiting Loretta in the hospital. We all know Leroy's general clumsiness, dangerously inept home improvement skills, and propensity to get into fights with everyone make him a frequent visitor to the ER; but what could have landed Loretta in the hospital? I'm going to assume her head injury was due to a particularly severe car accident, no doubt caused by her. Despite her retrograde amnesia she still manages to vaguely recall and diss Leroy; quite impressive. Loretta scores another point and surges to a 2-0 lead.
- There are few less welcoming places than the Lockhorns home. They make North Korea look like Disneyland (hmm...sounds like the kind of one liner Loretta would drop). Leroy should focus on simple jabs like these to improve his standings. Sometimes I think he might be over thinking his insults (and with Leroy it doesn't take much to over think...zing, number two!). Objects of ridicule are everywhere, he just needs to be observant. Leroy earns a point and trails Loretta 2-1.
- It shouldn't be all that difficult for Loretta to determine which presents are from Leroy since they are the only ones giving presents to each other. Who else would bother sending the Lockhorns are gift that isn't a flaming bag of dog poo? In a way there's a sort of romantic quality to how the Lockhorns only have each other to get presents from. In Leroy's defense, those shopping bags at least have some degree of festive colored flair. It's not like he just shoved everything in one huge plastic bag. Though Loretta would get a point here, Leroy's absence means I can only rule this a push. Still, Loretta leads 2-1 as we head into the final panel.
- Look at Leroy, being shockingly topical. I actually found his drone joke to be pretty clever. It is the sort of pun that is way out of character for him. I do wonder if we were on the other side of the room would we hear nothing but animated insults about Leroy coming from Loretta. Is it just a fortunate twist of perspective that turns a point for Loretta into a point for Leroy and vice-versa? There is an undeniable element of luck when it comes to "Lockhorn vs. Lockhorn", here it shined on Leroy. Leroy gets a point and ties the day at 2-2.
Official Count:
Leroy - 114
Loretta - 147
Push - 88
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 13
Loretta - 21
Push - 16
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Friday, December 13, 2013
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Friday, December 6, 2013
December 6, 2013
*Author's Note: It looks like the Lockhorns finally reached a tipping point with poor old Pullman.
Official Count:
Leroy - 111
Loretta - 145
Push - 84
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Monday, December 2, 2013
Sunday, December 1, 2013
December 1, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Judging by the simmering rage on Loretta's face, it looks like Leroy's status will not change anytime soon. Since there's no actual "in the doghouse" option (to the best of my knowledge, but who knows, they're always changing things up) I'm going to assume he set it to "it's complicated". Oh how Leroy must yearn to one day to change his status to "not in a relationship" or possibly have his account deactivated all together because he is deceased. While sweet freedom from Loretta remains an impossible fantasy, he can at least enjoy the point he's earned and the early 1-0 lead.
- This panel feels like a natural continuation of the previous one, though now it's time for Loretta to get in her complaints. There are many things that are wrong with the Lockhorns' marriage (in fact, just about everything is wrong with their marriage) but I didn't expect Loretta's over qualification to be one of the issues. Objectively the Lockhorns are perfectly made to hate each other; it's a truly perverse bond. Though if we're going by "Lockhorn vs. Lockhorn" victories than Loretta is in another league. Loretta gets the point and ties the game up 1-1.
- I don't know about you but when I read this, I tried to think of potential songs with lyrics that could double as GPS instructions (the beginning of "Irreplaceable" by Beyoncé? "Crash Into Me" by Dave Matthews Band?). Whatever instructions she took, it certainly looks like Loretta has doled out a lot of damage. I can't tell if she's holding her purse or a mangled steering wheel, both are plausible. Unfortunately for Leroy, he is just too horrified by Loretta's actions that he can't even make an easy insult. It's a push. The score remains 1-1.
- Despite often being able to feature the names of various Long Island businesses, it seems that the local Hooters (most likely the one in Farmingdale) has declined the Lockhorn spotlight, necessitating the parody location. They should have gone to Canz in Westbury. Leroy should employ this tactic more often, seek out the nearest brestaurant to hunker down in while Loretta does her shopping. It sure beats holding her purse near the changing rooms. Leroy gets the point and takes a 2-1 lead.
- Leroy knows that no matter how outrageous his indiscretions are, no matter how poorly he fails as a husband or even civilized adult, he can automatically quell Loretta's anger at him with a trip to the mall. It's easy and effective, but one has to wonder if the cost is worth it. Today, his apology purchase of a new outfit not only cost him money but also a Sunday Showdown victory. If Leroy ever wants to win a year, he'll have to be tougher. Loretta gets the point and ends the day on a 2-2 push.
Official Count:
Leroy - 110
Loretta - 144
Push - 81
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 12
Loretta - 21
Push - 15
Friday, November 29, 2013
November 29, 2013
*Author's Note: I have call it a push since Loretta's mother is doing all the damage here. Plus, "incomepoop"? Really?
*Author's Note #2: After some retroactive number crunching, it turns out that with that push, Loretta has managed to mathematically clinch victory for 2013! Congratulations to Loretta for the three-peat and fourth win overall. The conclusion seemed forgone for a while but this is by far the earliest Loretta have ever locked up a year. For Leroy this is an unfortunate regression after his improved showing in 2012 when remained alive all the way to mid-December. We'll see if he can still muster some competitive spirit and finish strong in December.
*Author's Note #2: After some retroactive number crunching, it turns out that with that push, Loretta has managed to mathematically clinch victory for 2013! Congratulations to Loretta for the three-peat and fourth win overall. The conclusion seemed forgone for a while but this is by far the earliest Loretta have ever locked up a year. For Leroy this is an unfortunate regression after his improved showing in 2012 when remained alive all the way to mid-December. We'll see if he can still muster some competitive spirit and finish strong in December.
Official Count:
Leroy - 110
Loretta - 143
Push - 80
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Thursday, November 14, 2013
November 14, 2013
*Author's Note: Aside from being totally inaccurate about the weather, why is this panel coming out two weeks after Halloween? Was it precluded by the baseball playoffs or something?
Official Count:
Leroy - 104
Loretta - 137
Push - 77
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
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