September 30, 2013

Comic Relief

*Author's Note: Boy, Leroy's getting desperate. Though I have to admit, Blondie is still a fox.

Official Count:

Leroy - 90

Loretta - 117

Push - 66

March 12, 2013

Neighborhood Watch

Official Count:

Leroy - 26

Loretta - 31

Push - 14

November 8, 2012

Checking Out The Figures

Author's Note: Leroy's sort of a rocking a PSY look here. I half expect him to start screaming at the lady's ass.

Official Count:

Leroy - 110

Loretta - 126

Push - 77

August 13, 2012

Googling Bimbos

Official Count:

Leroy - 79

Loretta - 95

Push - 52

March 22, 2012

Checking Out The Weather

Official Count:

Leroy - 29

Loretta - 39

Push - 14

January 28, 2012

Prime Seat Views

Official Count:

Leroy - 10

Loretta - 13

Push - 5

July 30, 2011

Tuck Rule

Official Count:

Leroy - 81
Loretta - 80

Push - 50

July 7, 2011

Checking out the Stacks

Official Count:

Leroy - 71
Loretta - 72

Push - 45

June 30, 2011

Blocked

Official Count:

Leroy - 67
Loretta - 69

Push - 45

May 21, 2011

Permission Denied

Official Count:

Leroy - 54
Loretta - 50

Push - 37

January 25, 2010

Did we really need to see this? Couldn't Loretta be relentlessly nagging Leroy about any other topic at any other location? Did we really have to be subject to the repellent sight of Leroy leering at the prospect of a night of pleasuring himself to soft core amateur footage of drunk borderline underage girls? Sometimes I wonder if there really is a God. At the very least the always vigilant Loretta is quickly putting her abnormally large foot down on the matter and quashing any chance of this actually happening. Still, it's hard to wash the images from my mind. Loretta gets the point.

Official Count:
Leroy - 6
Loretta - 9
Push - 10

June 6, 2009

I should immediately deduct a point from Leroy just for not wearing a shirt at the beach. At least Loretta has the decency and common courtesy to wear an all black, 1920's style one piece bathing suit/evening dress. Speaking of ogling, does anyone else find it weird that almost every woman on the beach is wearing oversized, round eyeglasses? Is this some sort of beach for myopics? I'm beginning to suspect that Leroy has a bit of an eyeglass fetish. One gigantic bimbo at a party was one thing, but three gigantic bimbos, in revealing bikinis, frolicking in the hot sands, wearing glasses? It's no wonder Leroy is doing his best to subtly hide the excitement in his shorts with his right hand. Now that we've all been scarred for life by that image, let's just quickly give Loretta the point for her comments and try to forget all of this.

Official Count:
Leroy - 45
Loretta - 56
Push - 56

April 21, 2009

Today we are treated to a rare scene at Leroy's workplace. Frankly, I find the whole situation shocking and incongruous. Are we really supposed to believe that Leroy is some sort of lawyer with enough clout at the firm to have a windowed office and a personal legal secretary? Wouldn't that indicate a potentially higher than average salary and enough intelligence for a post graduate education? This is a far cry from the cubicle slaving, interchangeable salaryman I had in my mind. Of course, this may all become a moot point since Leroy will no doubt be immediately fired in the coming weeks (or worse if it turns out she actually is underage) for making inappropriate comments towards our vacant looking, two finger typing secretary; whom he obviously hired to hit on. And when that moment comes Loretta will just laugh and laugh and laugh and score another point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 31

Loretta - 41

Push - 39

April 17, 2009

Mothers lock up your monstrously tall, Amazonian, model type daughters, Leroy's on the prowl. And by prowl, I mean he basically looks like a deranged serial killer. The poor guy; he musters up whatever quantum of self esteem he has left after being belittled all day by Loretta and his work life in an attempt to look somewhat sharp, and falls flat on his gigantic, misshapen face. Loretta almost doesn't even have to go through the rigmarole of her standard setup and punchline; Leroy does a pretty good job on his own. Also, relative to everyone else in the room, doesn't Leroy's floozy appear to be a bit under dressed for the occasion? I guess if you're a freakish caricature of a man's ideal woman you can pull off the hot pink crop top and capri jeans look at what looks like a funeral reception. The point still goes to Loretta.

Official Count:

Leroy - 29

Loretta - 40

Push - 38