Friday, August 31, 2012

August 31, 2012

Making Cheddar 

Author's Note: A not so subtle plug by the Lockhorns for the Golden Dolphin Restaurant in Huntington. Also congratulations to Loretta for being the first to reach the 100 mark this year!  

Official Count:
Leroy - 85
Loretta - 100
Push - 59

Thursday, August 30, 2012

August 30, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 85
Loretta - 99
Push - 59

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

August 29, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 85
Loretta - 99
Push - 58

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

August 28, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 85
Loretta - 99
Push - 57

Monday, August 27, 2012

August 27, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 84
Loretta - 99
Push - 57 

Sunday, August 26, 2012

August 26, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:
  • Going by Loretta's response, this is a question Leroy has apparently asked multiple times in the past. Since there would never be a situation where a restaurant's "house wine" was "on the house", I can only assume Leroy continues to ask it out of sheer spite; just to antagonize Loretta and whatever poor waiter with the misfortune of getting the Lockhorns. The Lockhorns' cartoonishly stereotypical French-looking waiter seems to be taking it pretty hard. Anytime a panel has Leroy smiling while everyone else is upset is a surefire point for him. Leroy takes the initial lead 1-0.   
  • Is Leroy taking part in some sort of survey? I initially assumed the Lockhrons were just having another couple over for one of their favorite activities: splitting up along gender lines and making insults about the other spouse. However, Leroy's bespectacled friend appears to be dourly writing down Leroy's response. He clearly looks like he is being forced to do it and resents becoming an accessory to Leroy's latest dig at Loretta. Leroy pulls out to a big 2-0 lead.  
  • What sort of invited event has a "business casual" dress theme? In my experience most parties seem to exist in the extremes, either a formal, black tie affair or just a casual, no dress code, gathering. Leroy's outfit is a tad silly (he sort of reminds me of the mascot for the Notre Dame Fightin' Irish) but it is not as ridiculous as some of his other fashion disasters. Perhaps Loretta's "business casualty" line is actually referring to Leroy's dead end job. In either case, Loretta gets the point. It's still 2-1 Leroy.
  • Although Loretta claims that Leroy has been stockpiling these novelty mugs for years, this is the first I've ever seen of them. While it's obvious Leroy buys the mugs yearly to mock Loretta with the double insult of calling her bossy and then a rather poor one at that, there might an outside chance that Leroy is just a huge fan of "The Office". Another potential explanation which would be in line with his characteristic cheapness would be that Leroy gets the mugs from his subordinates at work every year as an insult and he merely re-gifts them to Loretta. It's a push, score remains 2-1 Leroy.
  • Look kids, it's another episode of the Lockhorns being disappointed with modern times. This time the Lockhorns are dismayed that people are using the internet to extract money from them. I think Leroy pulls out a subtly brilliant move here. I suspect that this pointless push was intentionally created by Leroy was a defensive measure to protect his small lead. It's kind of like running the clock out in a football game. Saddled with a rare lead heading into the final panel, he knew all he needed to do was tighten up and prevent any scoring from the other side. The stratagem proves successful as Leroy edges out Loretta 2-1 to take the day.
Official Count:
Leroy - 84
Loretta - 98
Push - 57 

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Friday, August 24, 2012

August 24, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 83
Loretta - 97
Push - 57

Thursday, August 23, 2012

August 23, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 82
Loretta - 97
Push - 57

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

August 22, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 82
Loretta - 97
Push - 56

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

August 21, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 81
Loretta - 97
Push - 56

Monday, August 20, 2012

August 20, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 81
Loretta - 96
Push - 56

Sunday, August 19, 2012

August 19, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:
  • Do pantyhose take any significant amount of time to put on? Or is this one of those exaggerated situations that only apply to Loretta? Also, are they having dinner with the President or something? What sort of function requires that you call ahead to adjust your arrival time by 15 minutes? Perhaps they're actually going out to meet their IRS agent to discuss their latest audit. In addition to making light of Loretta's pantyhose application time, Leroy could have also just straight up mocked the garments themselves. She looks like she's putting on gigantic blue socks. Leroy takes the first point, goes up 1-0.
  • Excellent comic timing by Loretta. Really what better animal to compare Leroy to than the ever lethargic sloth. The only other comparable animals might have been: walrus or possibly a baboon (though they are known to be quite intelligent animals). I would not be surprised if it turned out Loretta had intentionally directed Leroy to the sloth cage just so she could deliver her line (I do have to note that this is an exceedingly poor specimen of a sloth, it looks like some poor deformed albino sloth); Loretta is excellent at making her own shots like that. Loretta scores and ties the game up 1-1.
  • Comparing Loretta's cooking to dog food, it doesn't get any more textbook than that. To Loretta's credit, for once her dinner doesn't actually resemble a pile of dog food. It actually looks like something humans may eat; she even broke out the wine glasses, a classy touch. I still would try to stay away from that pale purple colored meat though. I've always wondered how Loretta managed to become resistant to her own cooking, perhaps years of preparing her terrible meals has given her an immunity. Leroy picks up a point, goes ahead 2-1.
  • The bead of moisture coming down Leroy's face can either be a tear or a bead of sweat, or possibly a sad combination of both. The only thing worse than an afternoon of miserable frustration while failing to assemble furniture is your wife relentlessly mocking you every step of the way. There is no exaggeration in Loretta's statement, watching Leroy fail is her favorite form of entertainment. It makes me wonder why she even bothers paying for cable. The seesawing slug match continues with Loretta earning the point and tying things up 2-2.
  • After four thrilling, back and forth, panels, it's quite disappointing to have the day end on this pointless push. Really, what is the purpose of this scene? To show that Loretta is a jerk? Tell us something we don't know. The only semi-interesting aspect of this panel for me is Loretta's antiquated "cellphone". Just look at the size of that thing! It makes the Zack Morris phone look like a Razor. I think she might just be carrying around her home cordless headset with her; which may be signs that she has gone insane. It's a push as the day ends in a 2-2 tie.
Official Count:
Leroy - 81
Loretta - 96
Push - 55

Saturday, August 18, 2012

August 18, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 81
Loretta - 96
Push - 54

Friday, August 17, 2012

August 17, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 80
Loretta - 96
Push - 54

Thursday, August 16, 2012

August 16, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 80
Loretta - 96
Push - 53

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

August 15, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 80
Loretta - 96
Push - 52

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

August 14, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 80
Loretta - 95
Push - 52

Monday, August 13, 2012

August 13, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 79
Loretta - 95
Push - 52

Sunday, August 12, 2012

August 12, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:
  • Oh Leroy, why would you ever let Loretta drive you to the barbershop? For that matter, why would you ever let Loretta drive you anywhere? Where you counting on the possibility of dying in a horrific car crash? I don't know why Leroy won't just give up the ghost and shave his head already. That would at least deny Loretta one topic to mock him about. Additionally, the weird shaped part of his head is already visible so he shouldn't worry about that showing. Leroy's pride is definitely a great source of weaknesses. Loretta scores and leads 1-0.
  • No truer words have been said, Leroy. The Lockhorns' marriage has been more of an extended argument than an actual marital relationship. At this point I assume it's pure spite that keeps this twisted union together. Neither one wants to give the other the sweet release and happiness of a divorce. This perversely makes the Lockhorns' marriage one of the most rock solid and dedicated marriages ever. Leroy manages to score the latest point in their neverending conflict; the day is tied 1-1.
  • Loretta may not be able to cook anything fit for human consumption but her sarcastic delivery here is just plain delicious. Having forced Leroy into aiding in an unwanted errand, Loretta really rubs the salt in the wound with her grotesque mockery of love. She may not know what it is, but she sure knows how to mock it. Loretta has probably set herself up for a big comeback Leroy about who that "someone you love" would be, but it's a moot point since it's this initial comment that counts for Loretta. Loretta earns the point and takes a 2-1 lead.
  • With all the debit she racks up, it's probably getting harder and harder for Loretta to get approved for additional credit cards and even more difficult for her to find places that accept her business. This particular store is desperate enough to accept Loretta's credit as she cleans out their entire inventory of plus sized, mono color, frocks. Why Leroy doesn't do everything in his power to prevent Loretta for shopping here is unknown. Maybe he's just that lazy. He still however manages to squeeze a point out of the situation and ties the day up 2-2 heading into the final panel.
  • Aside from the actual legal certification of marriage, I suppose not having the minister swear you in during the marriage ceremony would possibly absolve you of the traditional moral principles of marriage which the ceremony is supposed to impress. To the best of my knowledge, wedding vows aren't a legal contract. Sure you're being an asshole for drunkenly mixing it up with a giant bimbo in front of your wife but that's not a legal requirement of marriage. With that being said, Loretta still has every right to make snide comments about said inappropriate activity which she does here to help her earn a point and pull out another fifth panel Sunday victory. Loretta takes the showdown 3-2.  
Official Count:
Leroy - 78
Loretta - 95
Push - 52

Saturday, August 11, 2012

August 11, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 78
Loretta - 94
Push - 52

Friday, August 10, 2012

August 10, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 77
Loretta - 94
Push - 52

Thursday, August 9, 2012

August 9, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 76
Loretta - 94
Push - 52

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

August 8, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 76
Loretta - 93
Push - 52

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

August 7, 2012

7 Habits of Highly Ineffective People

Author's note: Too soon, Loretta. Too soon.

Official Count:
Leroy - 76
Loretta - 93
Push - 51

Monday, August 6, 2012

August 6, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 76
Loretta - 92
Push - 51

August 5, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:
  • Faced with the inevitability of Leroy botching his plumbing repair job and flooding the entire kitchen, all Loretta can do is wearily complain to her friend, pocket her point, and get ready with the local plumber's phone number. It's readily apparent by the lost expression on Leroy's face that disaster is imminent.  However in Leroy's defense, he wouldn't need to constantly be fiddling with the kitchen plumbing if Loretta didn't so mercilessly abuse it with her disgusting dinner preparations. Loretta gets the point and leads 1-0.
  • Looks like someone saw one or both of the mostly mediocre, completely unnecessary recent adaptations of "Snow White". His comment does fit nicely with his overarching theme of Loretta's mother being an evil witch. Quality dissing aside, I feel a bit sad for Loretta's mother. Many older parents who've lost a spouse find themselves constantly alone and seeking even the most basic of companionship. It really adds an extra layer of cruelty to Leroy's comments if Loretta's mother is indeed living a sad, neglected, life of solitude; wishing her daughter would see her more often. Leroy gets the point and ties things up 1-1.
  • It's a simplistic and petty but effective little prank by Loretta. Usually Loretta relies more on clever insults and sardonic wordplay to attack Leroy, but here she shows that she is also capable of going the cruder, whoopee cushion route. As an added bonus, aside from merely making Leroy soaking wet, Loretta also scores the added insult of violating a personal domain of his: the lawn. To modify a common axiom "you don't adjust another man's lawn sprinklers". Loretta takes the point and the lead 2-1.
  • "The Lockhorns" have never been shy about having real product references in the past; so I find it  odd that they had to resort to the obvious parody of Coors beer. Perhaps the executives at the Coors Brewing Company didn't want their product to be associated with Lockhorns. If they had asked any of the local Nassau county businesses that have been featured in the past, they would have known that their association with the Lockhorns and resulting "Lockhorn Bump" has been nothing but beneficial. It's their loss I suppose. For embarrassing Loretta with his out of control alcoholism, Leroy gets the point. The day is tied 2-2, heading into the final panel.
  • This might be bordering on the compulsive, but I am more than a little perturbed by marriage counselor Pullman's ever present sign hanging ever so slightly outside of the lines of the panel. I cannot recall this ever happening before in all my years of following the Lockhorns. It's an ultimately inconsequential detail, but I just can't ignore it. It should be in the margins. I also find the actual comments by Loretta to be almost equally incongruous as Pullman's sign. The comments would imply that Leroy was a Red Sox fan. As a seemingly life long resident of Long Island, I would peg Leroy to be a Mets or even a Yankees fan. I'm not sure where this sudden Boston connection came from. As for who actually wins and loses this panel and the game, Loretta pulls out the fifth panel and edges out Leroy 3-2.   
Official Count:
Leroy - 76
Loretta - 92
Push - 50

Saturday, August 4, 2012

August 4, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 76
Loretta - 91
Push - 50

Friday, August 3, 2012

August 3, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 76
Loretta - 90
Push - 50

Thursday, August 2, 2012

August 2, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 75
Loretta - 90
Push - 50

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

August 1, 2012


Official Count:
Leroy - 75
Loretta - 90
Push - 49