March 8, 2013

Put On A Crappy Face

Official Count:

Leroy - 25

Loretta - 29

Push - 13

January 12, 2013

Shoot The Piano Player

Official Count:

Leroy - 5

Loretta - 7

Push - 0

August 10, 2012

Everybody's Free

Official Count:

Leroy - 77

Loretta - 94

Push - 52

June 9, 2012

Roll Over Beethoven

Official Count:

Leroy - 58

Loretta - 69

Push - 34

May 12, 2012

Out Of Tune

Official Count:

Leroy - 47

Loretta - 59

Push - 27

August 26, 2011

From the Heart

Official Count:

Leroy - 86
Loretta - 91

Push - 61

July 4, 2011

Hitting the High Notes

Official Count:

Leroy - 70
Loretta - 70

Push - 45

February 26, 2011

I'm Not Going to Pay A Lot For This Muffler

Official Count:

Leroy - 21
Loretta - 20
Push - 16

August 29, 2009

Loretta seems to be in rare form tonight, with her stubbly meat hooks smashing those keys, her monstrous feet stomping those pedals, and her shrill wail breaking highball glasses all over the living room. If there was any time for Leroy to jump in and mock her by calling her a witch, it was now. Looks like the Lockhorns will have to find another set of friends to alienate. Of course there is the distant possibility that Leroy wasn't dissing Loretta and was just lamenting about that fact that he'll never get his wish of hearing Margaret Hamilton sing "Over the Rainbow". For now let's assume it's the former and give Leroy the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 73
Loretta - 89
Push - 79

June 13, 2009

Loretta tortures another unfortunate cocktail party audience with her shrill, unbearable, wailing and Leroy makes a critical comment about said shrill, unbearable, wailing. It doesn't get any simpler then that. One day some brave soul may eventually work up enough courage to explain to Loretta that she has no singing ability. Leroy obviously (and rather cuttingly) brings it up every time she performs, but she just assumes that it's just Leroy being mean rather than truthfully mean. Without the intervention of a neutral third party to confront Loretta with the terrible truth, no cocktail party is safe. Leroy scores the point, everybody loses.

Official Count:
Leroy - 48
Loretta - 57
Push - 59

April 24, 2009

Looks like the Lockhorns are hosting another one of their classy, alternate dimension, formal dinner parties again with Loretta providing the entertainment. The whole thing sort of takes on a perverse David Lynch-like quality; a landscape of monochromatic oblivion littered by a bunch of mysterious well dressed individuals vacantly staring at this hypnotically bizarre looking dwarfish figure incoherently singing and playing the piano. Taking Leroy's destructive criticism and abruptly smashing the piano at the end of her maddening set probably would have been the perfect exclamation point to this journey to into the frightening surreal. Leroy scores the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 32

Loretta - 41

Push - 41