October 8, 2013

Marriage Compromised

Official Count:

Leroy - 94

Loretta - 121

Push - 66

November 14, 2009

That disinterested looking fellow in the flannel has got to be the most unconvincing teenager I have ever seen. He looks like Ray Romano, the current middle aged Ray Romano. He is supposed to be a teenager right? Why else would Leroy be using analogies to being grounded? Unless he's maybe an airline pilot? In any case, Loretta missed a choice chance to criticize Leroy's hideous zigzagged grayish blazer. Instead, Leroy manages to win the day by laying out one of his anti-marriage words of wisdom that always draws the ire of Loretta. Leroy scores the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 101
Loretta - 125
Push - 92

October 31, 2009

The Lockhorns decided to celebrate Halloween by attending what they consider to be the most frightening and terrifying of events: a wedding. As usual the Lockhorns contribute to (i.e. ruin) the festivities by dispensing some experienced "marriage advice" to the newly weds which also double as indirect insults about the other Lockhorn. Today, it's Leroy who beats Loretta to the punch by breaking out one of his penal law and marriage analogies to an obviously uninterested groom. I'm thinking it'll probably be easy for the groom to forget everything about guilt and innocence because only the Lockhorns approach marriage as some sort of twisted criminal punishment. Leroy gets the point.

Also, this current wedding appears disturbingly similar to another wedding from July. I'm not about the rule out the possibility that the beady-eyed bride is some sort of black widow murderer with a taste for tall dark haired gentlemen.

Official Count:

Leroy - 94
Loretta - 119
Push - 91

April 13, 2009

Oh those poor Lockhorn neighbors. Not only do they have to put up with the constant nuisance of the sounds of their nightly fighting (not to mention the sort of damage that living next to them would do to one's property values), they also get these frequent doses of their spite-filled "wisdom" free of charge. It looks like they're using a divide and annoy strategy here with each going after their gender equivalents. Leroy seems to have won this foot race by getting his "marriage is prison" rant in before Loretta could even break her false smile to start on hers. The point goes to Leroy.

Official Count:

Leroy - 29

Loretta - 39

Push - 35

January 6, 2009

It may look like a standard brush off and insult by Leroy, but deep down I think this one cuts deeper than usual. That foreign expression on Loretta's face appears to be something resembling a smile, so one assumes that she actually got her hopes up for this one. She should however know better that Leroy can't afford such extravagances when it's fairly obvious that the man can't even afford proper, adult sized furniture. Leroy for the win.

Official Count:
Leroy - 4
Loretta - 2