December 29, 2013: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• It's a solid burn by Leroy, but a part of me feels for poor Loretta. Assuming that the sweater in question was a gift from Loretta, it's a pretty cold blooded move by Helen to use it on her dog. She doesn't even seem to feel the least bit guilty about her actions as she brazenly walks the dog in front of the Lockhorns' residence with a satisfied smile on her face. The whole thing looks pretty deliberate. Leroy gets the point with an assist from Helen. Leroy leads 1-0.
• I always consider going with the "maybe" option for any invitation to be equivalent of dropping a "meh". Sure we try to be courteous and dress it up as the innocuous but ambiguous "maybe" but in my experiences "maybe" runs closer to the "don't care" spectrum than the "don't know". With that said Loretta is still entitled to a score for pointing out Leroy's lack of tact. He may be right but Loretta gets the point and ties things up at 1-1.
• Suddenly when the suggestion of working on his marriage comes up, the usually lazy Leroy becomes diligent about his office work (is he trying to pass off doing a newspaper crossword puzzle as working?). I would also say that going to all those fruitless visits to the marriage counselor qualifies as working on the marriage. While not much can be said about the quality of the work, there is still technically effort being expended. Leroy scores another point and takes a 2-1 lead.
• Leroy is really busting out the serious moves here. Is that even Leroy up there? I could swear that's Robin Thicke. Now that I think about it, Leroy is probably a huge fan of the "Blurred Lines" music video, it's got all his favorite things: beautiful models, guys dancing silly in suits, all up against a blank background. Even though it's Loretta that's commenting here, I feel compelled to give Leroy the point. After all, he's the one grooving with a bimbo and Loretta is the one wallowing in embarrassment. Leroy gets the point and clinches the day with a 3-1 lead.
• What I assume Loretta means is that the rest of the year outside of the NFL season is a pregame show for Leroy. Obviously the part of the season where the games are being played can't be a pregame show. It's not the clearest of zingers from Loretta. It also might have been more topical if she said it during the off-season. Still, Loretta gets the point; although Leroy may feel like the winner in the panel since she's leaving him alone to watch his football game in peace. Leroy takes the final "Sunday Showdown" of 2013 with a 3-2 victory.

Official Count:

Leroy - 119

Loretta - 151

Push - 92

Sunday Showdown Count:

Leroy - 14

Loretta - 21

Push - 17

December 28, 2013

There Is No Try

Official Count:

Leroy - 119

Loretta - 151

Push - 92

December 25, 2013

Yuletide Jeer

Official Count:

Leroy - 118

Loretta - 150

Push - 91

December 20, 2013

Empty Shopping Cart

Official Count:

Leroy - 117

Loretta - 148

Push - 89

December 19, 2013

Gift Returns

Official Count:

Leroy - 116

Loretta - 148

Push - 89

December 16, 2013

Suppressed Santa

Official Count:

Leroy - 115

Loretta - 147

Push - 88

December 9, 2013

Insecurity Check

Official Count:

Leroy - 114

Loretta - 145

Push - 84

December 8, 2013: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Every once in a while Leroy will push the antagonism envelope just a bit too far and end up with a shiner for his efforts. I bet if he really tried, he could even get the Pope to sock him in the face. I am impressed by whatever obnoxious behavior Leroy engaged in at the theater to drive a performer to assault an audience member. This is like the ballet equivalent to the "Malice in the Palace". Also, props to the angry ballerina; the Lockhorns usually sit way up in the balcony seats. If she actually managed to ding Leroy all the way up there, that is some serious accuracy. Loretta gets the point and takes a 1-0 lead.
• I initially thought Leroy was just wishing out loud about his morning cereal, but then I caught Loretta's unhappy expression and got that it was Loretta's usual bad cooking. The green colored pieces should have been an immediate clue. While there obviously isn't a literal prize at the bottom of the bowl, maybe the prize Leroy is looking for is the sweet release of death from severe food poisoning. Leroy scores a point and ties the game up 1-1.
• Jokes about the ubiquity of Starbucks, that's about as fresh and timely as Loretta's giant flip cell phone (which I find  a bit baffling since she has shown before that she owns a modern smartphone). If I put in the research perhaps I could narrow down the Starbucks heavy Long Island location the Lockhorns are in. Loretta will be waiting out in the cold for a long time if she think Leroy is going to follow her demand to meet up with her. It's a push, the day is still knotted 1-1.
• The rise of social media along with smartphones and tablets must have made Leroy's Loretta ignoring efforts so much more easier. It must be a total godsend for him. Unfortunately this increase ease in shutting out Loretta via digital distractions has not translated overall into more victories for Leroy. For Leroy (and many businesses today) proper utilization of social media is critical for success. Leroy's tech savvy shunning scores him a point and gives him a 2-1 lead.
• Though she does all the time to some degree, here Loretta's mother looks especially like a member of the first Continental Congress from her powdered wig-like hair down to her 18th century leggings and shoes. Maybe she works part time as a historical reenactor? That would explain a lot. In an uncommon display of clutch play, Leroy manages to seal the deal by insulting Loretta and addressing Loretta's mother's hatred of him. Leroy gets the point and takes the day 3-1.

Official Count:

Leroy - 113

Loretta - 145

Push - 84

Sunday Showdown Count:

Leroy - 13

Loretta - 21

Push - 15

December 7, 2013

Turkey Time

Official Count:

Leroy - 112

Loretta - 145

Push - 84

December 4, 2013

P90 Next

Official Count:

Leroy - 111

Loretta - 145

Push - 82

November 28, 2013

There's An Old Joke...

Official Count:

Leroy - 110

Loretta - 143

Push - 79

November 27, 2013

Junk Mail

Official Count:

Leroy - 109

Loretta - 143

Push - 79

November 23, 2013

Lost Car Keys

*Author's Note: I'm giving the point to Leroy, it looks like an act of spite to me.

Official Count:

Leroy - 107

Loretta - 141

Push - 79

November 20, 2013

Leroy Said Hi

*Author's Note: Is Leroy having a stroke?

Official Count:

Leroy - 106

Loretta - 140

Push - 78

November 15, 2013

Contains Live Cultures 

Official Count:

Leroy - 105

Loretta - 137

Push - 77

November 12, 2013

Birthday Vex

Official Count:

Leroy - 104

Loretta - 136

Push - 76

November 10, 2013: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• I had to reread Leroy's comment a few times to get his point. I'm assuming that Loretta was a relentlessly nagging backseat driver for the entire trip. For Loretta to be constantly on Leroy's case about his driving quality shows that her hypocrisy knows absolutely no bounds. I cannot imagine the sort of horrors an extended road trip with the Lockhorns would hold. Leroy certainly looks to have aged a decade as he exits the car. Still, his comment does earn him a point for his trauma. Leroy leads 1-0.
• Loretta always maintains a kind of Zen-like attitude about her arguments with Leroy. She has a sense of the natural inevitability of the whole thing and never lets it really get to her. This is the opposite for Leroy who is almost always the one losing his cool and stomping around in the background. I like to imagine that Leroy just stomps back and forth in a mad, futile routine while Loretta easily gets her points. The score is tied 1-1.
• "The Lockhorns" never seem to have any trouble getting the rights to depict TV shows, movies, and especially local businesses. That's why I find it odd that Leroy has to carry a case of "Koor's" beer (frost brewed in the Appalachian mountains?). Perhaps the silver bullet people really did not want their brew associated with the Lockhorns. I also want to note that there is no storm at all in the forecast for the tri-state area; so this is an obvious deception by Leroy to stock up on beer. I'm surprised Loretta didn't figure this out sooner. Leroy's rampant alcoholism earns him a point and a 2-1 lead.
• Leroy's statement really sums up the Lockhorns entire meaningless existence. They are forever trapped in this cycle of repeated arguments and fights, insults and humiliations; a private hell for two with no escape. Just look how weary Leroy looks as he delivers his grim observation. In a fair world, this would be the last final Lockhorns panel. Unfortunately for the Lockhorns, such relief is an impossible dream. Leroy scores the point and clinches the Sunday victory 3-1.
• Going by the scene in this panel I would have guessed that Leroy was asking people to pull his finger. Knock-knock jokes do fit his character though. The poor bald guy he's talking to seems utterly horrified at whatever punchline Leroy's just arrived at. Knowing Leroy, his knock-knock joke probably had an embarrassingly dirty payoff. Despite Loretta's whispering tone, I am going to assume Leroy overheard her, or at least saw her commenting. Loretta gets the point but still loses the day 3-2.

Official Count:

Leroy - 103

Loretta - 135

Push - 76

Sunday Showdown Count:

Leroy - 12

Loretta - 19

Push - 14

November 1, 2013

Driven

Official Count:

Leroy - 102

Loretta - 129

Push - 74

October 29, 2013

Catch and Release

Official Count:

Leroy - 101

Loretta - 128

Push - 73

October 27, 2013: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• The arraignment of the room in this panel is a bit confusing to me. One would assume that Loretta would set up her vanity table up against a wall, but Leroy seems to be standing behind the table, indicating that may have set it up in the middle of the room. Of course the bigger issue here is their room is just a single colored void. Speaking of colors, Leroy puts down a fine burn about Loretta's frequent dye jobs. Leroy has to recognize how choice a target Loretta's vanity is. Leroy gets the point and takes a 1-0 lead.
• While Loretta might be down on the entertainment value of the Lockhorns, as fans we all know how much joy it is to catch these daily glimpses into their miserable, loveless existence. I'm sure the NSA or whatever other intelligence arm of the government is enjoying their hi jinks just as well. I'm sure it's a welcome change from all those other boring functioning married couples with their lack of fighting. It's a push. Leroy still leads 1-0.
• If you stop and think about it, Leroy has the perfect body for a clown. All the proportions are ideal from the over sized feet, to the roly poly mid section, to the bulbous nose, and warp around hair. On top of all that, there's his natural buffoonish behavior and cartoonish mannerisms. It's the role he was totally born to play. It'd probably garner more respect than his current job. I'm going to rule this a push. Leroy continues to lead 1-0.
• It's no surprise the Lockhorns would be into "Mad Men", they are practically stuck in the same era as the show. The whole show must feel so comforting and familiar to the Lockhorns who are always being antagonized by modern society. I wonder if anyone on the show was ever seen reading a vintage 60's edition of "The Lockhorns"? Also say what you want about Leroy, he may be a poor husband but at least he doesn't cheat on Loretta; so he's got that going to for him. Still, Loretta gets the insult in and earns the point. The score is tied 1-1. 
• I don't know about you but it looks more like the carny is shooting out a massive stream of projectile vomit as opposed to breathing fire. Leroy's comment about Loretta's chili could also apply if this were the case. Knowing Loretta's infamous culinary abilities (or lack there of) a spoonful of her leftover chili could lead to any number of matter coming out of the unfortunate taster. Leroy gets the point and pulls off a rare final panel victory to take the Sunday 2-1.

Official Count:

Leroy - 100

Loretta - 127

Push - 73

Sunday Showdown Count:

Leroy - 11

Loretta - 18

Push - 14