April 11, 2010: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• I always suspected that the warped kind of people that would willingly spend time with the Lockhorns on a regular basis were the most extreme of sadomasochists, today's panel unambiguously proves this to be true. However even with the aid of the a safe word the Lockhorn's deeply perverse, pain-obsessed, guest really should have opted for comparatively less life threatening options for experiencing brutal sadomasochistic pleasure than eating Loretta's cooking, like playing the victim in a snuff film. Leroy gets the point.
  
• If cleaning out a helpless Leroy of all his hard earned money wasn't enough, Loretta also feels the additional need to mock him as she takes the money. One can only imagine the sort of horrifying, dark, piece of information that Loretta is holding over Leroy to blackmail him like this. I can't think of any other reason why Leroy would continue to willingly give his total earnings to his mortal enemy. Whatever leverage Loretta may have, she's definitely playing it for all it's worth. Loretta ties it up 1-1.
• Leroy spends another night pathetically wallowing over his lost dreams and how much of an utter failure his life has become, much to the complete lack of empathy of his white haired acquaintance. Despite his sad bemoaning about the death of his dreams of fame and acclaim, Leroy still has the admirable wherewithal to turn his laments into an insult about Loretta's constant nagging. That's a heads up play. Leroy goes up 2-1.
• Loretta continues her complete systematic emasculation of Leroy by demolishing one of his last crumbling bastions of male power, his control over the TV remote. With the loss of his ability to control the channels during their prime time viewing, what else really remains of Leroy's domestic hegemony at this point? He certainly doesn't have any power over his money or dinner or where to go out for entertainment. A deft blow by Loretta, well worth the $19.99 for the universal remote at the local RadioShack. Loretta ties it up 2-2.
• Had Loretta brought Leroy along to the local branch of the FTC Bureau of Consumer Protection to witness her fervid "complaint" about his recent lamp purchase, it would obviously be a point. Unfortunately, sans Leroy, it's just another case of a crazy woman wasting everyone's time with her ridiculously misguided view about how the Consumer Protection Bureau works. Loretta's failure to break the tie ends the showdown on an undecided push.
  

Official Count:

Leroy - 29
Loretta - 39
Push - 32