August 24, 2013

Fur Is Murder

Official Count:

Leroy - 79

Loretta - 103

Push - 54

December 30, 2011

Salon Showdown

Official Count:

Leroy - 122

Loretta - 143

Push - 99

May 3, 2011

Overnight Scream

Official Count:

Leroy - 47
Loretta - 43

Push - 33

April 8, 2011

Big Shoes To Fill

Official Count:

Leroy - 38
Loretta - 32

Push - 28

March 2, 2011

Touch Up

Official Count:

Leroy - 23
Loretta - 20
Push - 18

January 5, 2011

Picture Perfect

Official Count:

Leroy - 3
Loretta - 2
Push - 0

April 16, 2010

I suspect that Leroy wasn't deliberately trying to mock Loretta with today's comment. I believe his original intention was to look out for his potbellied friend and assure him that when Loretta stated she was going to slip "into something more comfortable" she wasn't going to change into anything that would reveal more of her objectionable figure. I think we all share the friend's immense sense of relief at Leroy's clarification. Although Leroy may not have initially intended it, he did end up with a solid jab at Loretta (in front of an acquaintance no less) and at the end of the day Leroy finds himself with the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 32
Loretta - 41
Push - 32

March 20, 2010

Oh snap, Leroy! I'm no expert on womens' culture but isn't pointing out their dye job a major social faux pas? If the famous Clairol catchphrase from the 1950s was any indication ("Does she...or doesn't she? Only her hairdresser knows for sure.") that may be the case for at least older women (of which Loretta is obviously one). In any case, Loretta looks particularly miffed by Leroy casual revelation and their two acquaintances seem to look fairly awkward and uncomfortable in the scene. If Leroy's not careful, he'll be getting an hors d'oeuvres plate to the face pretty soon. What he's definitely getting is a well deserved point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 23
Loretta - 29

Push - 27

March 8, 2010

For Leroy, any opportunity to introduce Loretta to a new acquaintance is a new opportunity to mock her in front of an audience. Leroy really goes above and beyond today by actually bringing his poor, unfortunate new friend into Loretta's boudoir to make comments about her in an exceedingly vulnerable and unflattering state (which is really saying a lot). I predict that Leroy will continue along this path until one day he brings a new friend over to see Loretta in the shower, subsequently blinding the individual and leading to a substantial personal injury lawsuit. Until then, Leroy gets the point.

Official Count:
Leroy - 19
Loretta - 26
Push - 22

February 27, 2010

Actually, Charles Perrault, the 17th century French author who wrote "Sleeping Beauty" among other classic fairy tales was married at 19; so Leroy's theory is actually incorrect. However, Leroy would have found himself clearly in the right had he stated "whoever wrote 'Sleeping Beauty' must not have had to share a marital bed with an unimaginably hideous spouse whose monstrously ugly appearance, enhanced by her frightening application of cream and curlers, are a nightly source of terrifying nightmares." Despite the slight inaccuracy, Leroy still scores the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 15
Loretta - 22
Push - 21

July 27, 2009

After being mercilessly mocked by Loretta the previous week for his clownish attire, Leroy turns the tables on Loretta by ridiculing her new outfits with circus/carnival references. Hopefully, Leroy has learned the lesson that with Loretta's frumpy physique and constant shopping, he should really be exploiting these fashion based jokes rather than be exploited by them. Did you get a look at those massive shoulder pads? You could take an eye of with one of these! Leroy nails the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 65
Loretta - 75
Push - 67

June 25, 2009

This is probably Leroy's best rank out of the year, an instant classic. The collision shop line and the salon line would have been quality points on their own but, with one deftly phrased question, he unleashes a double barreled smackdown on BOTH Loretta's poor driving skills and her excessive homeliness. Double the insult, double the misogyny, double the anger. Although the policy is one point per day, I am quite tempted to give this an unprecedented two points. Had he also somehow incorporated a crack about her bad cooking as well, I would have been sold. For now an emphatic point for Leroy.

Official Count:

Leroy - 51
Loretta - 63
Push - 62