I always found Leroy's criticisms about the amount of clutter in Loretta's purse to be one of his weakest attacking points. Loretta is such a wonderfully prolific collection of monstrously ugly personal flaws and gross offensive female caricatures; there is almost always something better to riff on. Leroy's explanation here seems almost reasonable. There really should never be anything close to "reasonable" when dealing with Lockhorn insults. However in the end when it comes to winning those all important points, insulters can't be choosers, and the chronically behind Leroy can use every point he can get.
In the case of Leroy it's quite interesting that someone who lacks the technological aptitude to operate a VCR can somehow manage to reprogram a home vacuuming robot to fetch him beers from the kitchen. Apparently he is a true savant when it comes to activities that facilitate his drinking habits. While situations where Loretta portrays Leroy as a raging alcoholic in front of others usually end with her being awarded a point, I'm inclined to rule for Leroy in this situation. He has managed to ingeniously managed to subvert Loretta by proudly owning and displaying his drinking problem and causing her to be embarrassed in the eyes of her wavy haired friend. Leroy grabs a point.
I understand the established trope that Leroy is cheap and that it leads to humorous scenes of exaggerated frugality on his part, but isn't he being pretty rational in negotiating with the travel agent? "What's on sale" may be an idiosyncratic way of putting it, but don't most people who are planning a vacation with a travel agency want to know if there are any travel deals or discounts available? Is it me or is there not really a joke going on here? I just don't get it. In any case, it looks like there are going to be some intrusive airport security related hijinks on the horizon. Let's all this one a push.
With Loretta worn down, despondent, and depressed after a miserable day, Leroy blows an absolutely perfect opportunity to drive a well placed dagger (metaphorically and possibly physically) right into Loretta's back. Unfortunately for Leroy, Loretta actually manages to beat him to the punch with a self-deprecating fat joke, diffusing any chance for Leroy to capitalize. Is this a daringly clever stratagem by Loretta or just an unintended lucky break? Either way it is an amazing turn of events as Loretta's comment manages to reverse a potential point for Leroy into a harmless push.
For this evening's fare Loretta whips up an especially unappetizing crab cake entrée that no amount of Old Bay Seasoning can fix. Tonight's "meal" is a new low even for Loretta. Her culinary creations in the past may have been as equally disgusting and inedible but at least they looked like some effort was put into their preparation. Loretta at least had to do some activity akin to cooking to turn edible raw ingredients into repulsive piles of foul gray colored mush. Here, she won't even be bothered to take the crab meat out of the shell before ruining it. Regardless, it's still going to be another hungry night for Leroy; at least he gets the point.
Leroy's constant channel flipping seems to be a pettier than usual matter for Loretta to set her sights on. On top of that, her "roaming charges" joke is pretty weak. I think Leroy is more disappointed with the groan worthy quality of the line than Loretta's actual criticism of his short television attention span. He may be personally offended by the joke but he is probably more offended by the sub par effort in its execution. Well we are still recovering from a recession, I guess we all have to lower our expectations a little bit during these lean times. Loretta gets the point.
Leroy does himself and the rest of the summertime beach going public a huge service by snidely discouraging a once again hopelessly delusional Loretta from even attempting to try on a skimpy black bikini. There's a reason she always wears a full length early 20th century bathing gown down to the beach every year. Also, extra props to Leroy for the clever Loretta-like wordplay, it's a pretty sophisticated move for him. Leroy kicks off another showdown with a point.
I get the joke, that Loretta doesn't let Leroy get his say in their relationship for extended periods of time, but why the oddly specific listing of time? First off, why would Loretta say the time in exact months? Who keeps referring to months after years have gone by? Couldn't she just say "over five years ago"? Secondly, why would she even keep such a meticulous record of Leroy's belated point? My only guess is that this was all part of some personal five year plan by Loretta to get Leroy on this Sunday. If that's the case then disturbingly well played Loretta. It's even at 1.
Judging by Leroy's deeply broken expression, it looks like this particular zinger by Loretta cut deeper than usual. Perhaps Leroy finds Loretta's attack on his ability to fix cars, a traditionally masculine activity, as a direct attack on his manhood. "Don't know what you're doing" can be applied in many aspects of Leroy's life. The whole thing is even more deliciously mean when you realize that, in all likelihood, it was Loretta who damaged the car in the first place. Loretta goes up 2-1.
Oh the unending horrors that are inflicted upon any couple unfortunate enough to agree to a night at the Lockhorns'. After somehow managing to survive a Loretta prepared dinner with all the trimmings, our doomed couple find themselves in the final circle of hell, being forced to sit and endure Loretta's eardrum shattering wailing with piano accompaniment. Leroy's snappy remark can only do so much to help the situation. The bald man's wife has apparently already gone into a catatonic state due to the trauma. Leroy ties it up at 2.
This scene has every element for Loretta to get the point and win the day...except for the presence of Leroy. As the rule goes, the other Lockhorn has to be present and effected by the insult for the insulting Lockhorn to get the point; and while Leroy, the party goers, and everyone reading will agree that Loretta scored a solid jab at Leroy here, the fact that his very absence is the key to the joke nullifies it. I can't even rationalize that Leroy is off screen and give it a constructive point. I'm going to rule it and the day as a push.
Initially I was going to award Loretta the point for her obvious under the table assault on Leroy, but then I noticed that it is Leroy that is getting the upper hand in this situation. Having had enough awkwardness and simmering hostilities with his spouse and friends all night, Leroy finds a perfect way to leave while both alienating his friends and humiliating Loretta. That's like killing three birds with one stone. Frankly, Leroy could have totally made up all the kicking, the masterful end effect is still the same. Well played, Leroy, you more than earned today's point.
In defense of Leroy, I think Loretta is giving short shrift to the surprising depth and complexity of the infield fly rule. While ostensibly a simple and straightforward rule known to any baseball fan, Major League Baseball rule 6.05e (defined in section 2.00) has a fairly deep and interesting history of discussion and debate ranging from well known law review articles ("The Common Law Origins of the Infield Fly Rule") to game theory analysis to arguments among fans during controversial applications of it. There are worse things that could serve as the absolute limits of Leroy's conversational depth. However, in the end, he's still getting the burn. Loretta gets the point and hits the fifty mark.
Leroy coldly demonstrates to Loretta that he is incapable of basic human empathy and emotions in general. In fact, Leroy can only see people and things in the world as their earnings estimates and market values. I'm no psychologist but these traits would make him a prime example of a psychopath. He could probably kill a homeless man with the casualness and total lack of remorse one would exert while taking out the household trash. Assuming he's not an emotionless killer hiding behind a slowly slipping mask of sanity, my other theory would be that his countless years of being in debt has made him somewhat obsessed with the financial matters of everyone he sees. Neither scenario is really all that good for Leroy; at least he gets today's point.
Okay, so Leroy is impatient. It's not exactly the most devastating of insults but I guess it still counts as one (just barely). I suspect that Leroy is actually just as patient as anyone and that it's the always garrulous Loretta that's been keeping Leroy waiting for an objectively unreasonable period of time while chatting with her friend. One could also read Loretta's paraphrasing of the old "time and tide wait for no one" saying as comparing Leroy to be as powerful and unstoppable as the march of time or nature. There may be some truth in that since it's quite apparent that time has not moved for him for roughly the last half century. Loretta still takes the point.
I can't imagine a more complete, thorough, and utterly dominating win for Loretta. Here she is arrogantly doing a victory strut with arms bursting with expensive new purchases past a frustrated, defeated Leroy who is can only sit and complain while his latest desperate effort to restrain Loretta's financial destruction proves to be a humiliating, total failure. Today's panel serves as an exemplary master class in Loretta's shopping based antagonism of Leroy. If I could give her two points I would, but a blowout weighs the same as a squeaker. Loretta emphatically earns the point.
Am I missing something? Since when did Loretta in all her years ever think that her marriage to Leroy could be considered anything remotely close to a "gravy train"? I think someone is stretching to put a sweet "gravy train" reference into her usual fiscal laments at the big desk (can anyone blame her?). There are so many other ways Loretta could have better reiterated that the Lockhorns were poor (or she could have just straight up turned her complaint into a productive pun about Leroy's poor earning power), but she just throws the opportunity away with a strained lined based on an incongruous situation. It's a push.
Since Loretta can't stop Leroy's wandering gaze (although she has tried countless times), the next best thing for her to do is unleash one of her classic zingers about it to anyone unfortunate enough to be within earshot of her. Frankly, if I were in Leroy's position my eyes and attention would be hopelessly drawn to the sight of the towering black haired bimbo as well. However, it would be more due to a morbid curiosity over this strapping freak of nature than anything like Leroy's amorous oggling. Loretta starts the day off with the point.
Leroy must have known that such a flamboyant golf ensemble would not escape Loretta's critical eye. It's almost as if he subconsciously wanted to be caught and humiliated. Maybe after so many years of abuse, he has developed a sort of twisted fetish for it? I think that's about as far as I'm willing to go in exploring Leroy's sexual perversions. As for Loretta, it's another hole in one. Loretta goes up 2-0.
I wonder if it's the same sadistic airline that's constantly finding ways to worsen the Lockhorns' already terrible vacations or that there is a massive conspiracy between all national carriers to antagonize the Lockhorns. While the sarcastic greeting card is pretty mean, at least this time the airline took the time to inform the Lockhorns where their lost luggage was. Often times, they'll just immediately throw them away as soon as they land. Push, the score remains 2-0.
Technically almost any food item can be cut with a knife, edible or inedible, but given the context of Loretta's bad cooking skills I get the point that Leroy's going after. Perhaps if it was clarified that it was soup or mashed potatoes or some other dish that wouldn't be right at all if it involved knife cutting then Leroy's comment would be more effective. Leroy could have also modified his comment to say that whatever Loretta cooked has to be "killed with a knife" for better effect. We've all heard better from Leroy at the dinner table, but it's still worth a point. Loretta leads 2-1.
When was saying "we're out of gas" ever considered fun? Was it some old time phrase that meant one was having a good time ("boy this box social was so fun I'm totally out of gas")? Maybe Leroy has fond memories of the 1979 oil embargo? Considering Loretta's unbelievably destructive and deadly driving record, perhaps Leroy would have fond memories of a national gas shortage. I almost settled on a push here, but since it's Leroy outside sweating his way down the road to the nearest gas station and Loretta smugly relaxing in the car, I think she's entitled to the point. In the end it really doesn't matter as Loretta would have won the day anyway. Loretta takes this Sunday 3-1.
Loretta shouldn't be tempting Leroy, he would gladly eat horse meat of any quality over any "meal" she prepares. It seems that Leroy really cannot catch a break today. He not only fails miserably in his desperate attempt to deal with the household's mounting debts by betting what's left of their precious savings at the track, but then he gets criticized about his poor gambling choices by Loretta the primary source of all his debts. No doubt she'll later add more salt to his wounds by taking another trip to the mall and saddling him with even more burdensome debt. Loretta wins the point.