March 7, 2010: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• It's really a lost opportunity for both Lockhorns that they aren't in this scene together. Obviously, Loretta would have benefited by getting a point for mocking Leroy in front of an audience. However, Leroy could have also had a chance to get a quick zinger in on Loretta who is looking quite vulnerable scrubbing the dishes. Unfortunately we can only dwell on the what could have been. The showdown starts off with a push.
• An exemplary piece of insulting by Loretta. With one well crafted line, she makes light of Leroy's laziness (his TV couch potato lifestyle), stupidity (confusing a police procedural drama for some sort of show about beer), and alcoholism (the overwhelming preoccupation with beer). The fact that Loretta is also ripping Leroy in front of celebrity friend Nora Dunn is just delicious icing on the cake. On a tangential note, judging by his extreme proximity to the television, Leroy may be in dire need of glasses. Loretta goes up 1-0.
• It's really a shame, after having witnessed that excellent effort by Loretta in the previous panel, that all the potential momentum is immediately quashed by yet another lazy, neutral Lockhorn scene. I have this odd feeling that I've seen almost this exact scene with Leroy and the call center before. It's probably just a reflection of how played the joke is. We move on with a push.
• What Loretta specifically meant by "death by chocolate" is "death by all the rat poison I put in the chocolate". Being the disturbed sadist she is, Loretta wants to first subject Leroy to the extended torture of one of her awful dinners before finishing him off with the tainted dessert. Merely dying before dinner would deprive her of that sweet pleasure. As for Leroy, he must be completely delirious from malnutrition to actually look upon a cake baked by Loretta as lip-smackingly delicious. It's either that or he thinks that Loretta actually went out and bought a real chocolate cake. Loretta goes up 2-0.
  
• With the Lockhorns finding themselves once again stranded at the airport, Leroy does what he does best: breaks out an air travel joke so well worn and tired that even the Wright Brothers would have found it passe. It's apparent that Leroy has been camped out at Gate 7 for quite a while but I'm not sure what's been keeping him up. As uncomfortable as an airport bench is, it couldn't possibly be as uncomfortable as sharing a bed with Loretta. It's a push. Loretta takes the relatively quiet Sunday with a stifling 2-0 win.

Official Count:
Leroy - 18
Loretta - 26
Push - 22