March 21, 2010: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

• How hopelessly self deluded could Leroy be to have bought that hair piece and not suspected the immediate, merciless response Loretta had in store for him? While I expected something a tad harsher from Loretta, the carpet world query is still quite solid. Call me crazy, but I think the rug doesn't look all that bad on Leroy. For me, anything that covers up that disturbingly flat mesa of a head is a huge improvement. Personal opinions aside, Loretta gets the point.
• The obvious reaction to this scene of Leroy watching TV amid the sick and hurt of the local ER waiting area would be that it's another example of Leroy's absurd cheapness. However, if you recall his stint at the hospital from earlier this week, he's actually diligently following his doctor's orders. As ridiculous as it seems, he's just fulfilling his physician recommended dose of premium cable programming. Loretta still leads 1-0.
• Loretta gets Leroy right below the tool belt by implying that he would have more success as a musical saw player than attempting any kind of simple carpentry. If I were Loretta though, I don't know if I'd be making such insults while Leroy has a potentially lethal weapon in his hand. Judging by that contemplative look in his his eyes, he's probably wondering if his current saw has the tensile strength to cut through human bone and various layers of fat. Murder and dismemberment aside, Loretta still goes up 2-0.
• The extended struggle between Leroy and high culture continues with seemingly no end in sight. This time, it appears that high culture has won today's battle with the orchestra drowning out Leroy's attempts to interrupt and distract them with his cell phone. This is only a minor setback for Leroy, who'll no doubt have plenty more ways of ruining future plays, operas, ballets, and generally any presentation without explosions, sports, or breasts. It's a push.
• Loretta better start placing the order in for that custom fitted shock collar if she and Leroy are going to continue going to parties with towering super bimbos like this. Leroy's current object of interest is by far the most soaring, toothy, freakishly disproportionate amazon yet! It would appear that they are evolving at a tremendous rate. Eventually it'll be impossible for Loretta to reign a randy Leroy in without a few hundred volts of help. Loretta tacks on another point to complete the 3-0 blowout and take the day.

Official Count:

Leroy - 23
Loretta - 30
Push - 27