May 31, 2009: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

• On its face, this scene is supposed to be a humorous demonstration of Leroy's ineptitude at doing handy jobs around the house. It could also be read to show the hopelessly outdated Leroy's laughable struggles with such "modern" task like changing a print cartridge. However, based on the sadistic look of joy on Loretta's face during her query, it's obvious she booby trapped the cartridge with an explosive dye pack. Loretta goes up one.
  
• While it may seem that Leroy's comments about Loretta's reckless driving could possibly be construed as a shocking display of concern for her well being, it's really more for the car (vintage, cherry red, Plymouth Acclaims are a rare find) and the wave of civil suits that'll no doubt be brought by families of the dozens of bystanders she will mow down on her way to the mall. Leroy gets the point.
• None of this makes any sense. Why would Leroy's 3rd grade teacher call decades upon decades later for a book report? Is that the book report in his hands? If the point of this scene is supposed to show that Leroy is stupid or bad at school, it sure does a poor (and quite confusing) job of it. Maybe it's implying that Leroy is currently attending the third grade in some sort of Billy Madison-esque scheme to repeat his primary school education? A confusing push for everyone.
• Not only is the good doctor Blog's nurse unbelievably creepy looking with her freakish button eyes and her gigantic, omnipresent, criminally insane, smile; but it seems that she also takes sick personal pleasure in taunting the Lockhorns. She could have just told them that their health plan didn't apply rather than cruelly pointing to the "alternative options" on an obviously blank piece of paper. Push.
• The mystery of how Leroy remains plump and alive despite being served a daily diet of inedible (frequently poisoned) culinary disasters may be solved. His main source of sustenance appears to be all the words that Loretta shoves into it. Judging by Leroy's physique, Loretta's words contain a lot of transfats and empty calories. Despite the diet, Leroy manages to get a few of his words in and wins the point and the day with a close 2-1 victory.

Official Count:
Leroy - 43
Loretta - 54
Push - 54