December 16, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• This may be the longest Leroy has been at the office Christmas party without being near blackout drunk and making a total ass of himself. He must really be concerned about this potential rivalry from Johnson. Considering his laughably low compensation and pathetic position in the company, I can hardly imagine what sort of position Johnson is in that he's gunning for Leroy's job; maybe he's an unpaid intern or the office janitor. I don't think Leroy should worry too much, there is no one alive that can match him for lack of drive, ambition, and ideas. It's a push.
• Leroy has probably been getting this particular bit of bad news from the doctor for quite some time now. I don't see why he's so mopey about it now. He'll just ignore it like every other time. Perhaps he's finally starting to actually feel bad about his unhealthy lifestyle and this is the first step towards better daily habits...and perhaps Loretta will start taking cooking classes to improve her skills. Loretta takes the first point and jumps ahead 1-0.
• At first look I thought Loretta had bought a weird yellow bonnet but the beauty salon sign tipped me off. I have to say, the stylists at Antony Peters in East Meadow are pretty skilled to be able to pull off that look off with Loretta. He hair never looked fuller or more contemporary. Unfortunately with such a grotesque, walking caricature like Loretta, any hairstyle or choice of outfit that looks like something a real person would get appears unsettling and out of place. Leroy gets the point and ties the day up 1-1.
• I was thinking that it has been quite a while since Loretta crashed the family car into the kitchen. Fortunately for us all she had at least one more spectacular crash in her for 2012. It's outrageous scenes like these that keep bringing me back to the Lockhorns. Perhaps it's the lingering effects of a concussion or just pure sadistic pleasure or maybe a combination of both but Loretta appears far too happy to have just had a massive wreck. Now there is a person who enjoys their job. Loretta gets the point and drives ahead 2-1.
• Loretta, in my opinion, shares more similarities with a standard living room sofa than she would care to admit. I would say they weigh roughly the same amount, take up nearly as much space, have plenty of cushioning, and are both covered in synthetic fabrics. However, I'm not here to throw out caustic observations on behalf of Leroy (maybe he'd be doing better this year if I did). Although Leroy isn't around for Loretta to score another point here, she still clinches victory and takes Sunday with the push, 2-1.

Author's Note: With fifteen days to go in 2012, Loretta has mathematically clinched her second straight "Lockhorn Vs. Lockhorn" title and third overall (she probably also would have won the shortened 2010 edition as well). Congratulations Loretta! It is quite fitting that the deciding victory came on a Sunday Showdown, a stage that she has particularly dominated through the years. As for Leroy, another disappointing year but he has slowly but steadily been closing the gap every year. Perhaps 2013 will be the year he finally breaks through.

Official Count:

Leroy - 125

Loretta - 141

Push - 85