September 6, 2009: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Leroy dishes out some hard economic truths at the giant old fashioned clerk desk; the usual forum for such activities. He does a fine job of shooting down Loretta's completely unrealistic dream of owning a second home. I doubt, however, that Loretta really understood the message as her past ruinous spending tendencies have demonstrated time and time again that she has absolutely no concept of financial responsibility. For now, Leroy ekes out a point for the valiant effort.
• Leroy's core belief of marriage being torture is so strong and ingrained that he cannot logically comprehend how they could be two separate concepts. His horribly perplexed looks says it all. It's like someone telling him up is down and left is right and that 2+2=5. This scene also gives us a fascinating glimpse at Leroy's political/ideological leanings. We can assume he's anti-gay marriage (along with heterosexual marriage) and against the CIA's torturing of terrorist suspects (which he'll understand to be the CIA forcing the suspects to get married). A most interesting push.
• As head commissioner of the fashion police, Loretta immediately arrests Leroy for a gross violation of the local dress codes; thus sabotaging his efforts to enjoy a relaxing day in the hammock. While Leroy is notorious for his disastrous fashion choices, I think he's sporting a rather sharp and fashionably retro ensemble today. I can totally see some scraggly Williamsburg hipster rocking this look on a on random Sunday morning. While he may have a case for an appeal, for now Loretta gets the point.
• Tonight's inedible dinner special at Chez Lockhorns appears to be Loretta's famous overcooked steak. Sure you could just write it off as another example of Loretta's incomprehensibly awful cooking abilities, but I suspect that there is a malevolent method to her madness here. By making Leroy go through the backbreaking ordeal of trying to cut and eat a steak with the consistency of rawhide, Loretta is actually attempting to cause Leroy to have a stress-induced fatal heart attack. It's a far more subtle and ingenious plan than merely poisoning his food. By the looks of Leroy he should be due for a massive coronary any time now. Still, if he does keel over he will have had the final insult about her cooking; Leroy gets the point.
• Can you really blame Leroy for his gift? Almost any newly married pre-second-wave feminist movement husband would have probably given their wives a similar gift. Of course knowing Loretta, she has probably yet to iron a single shirt for Leroy. One could read this as Loretta being a feminist pioneer, boldly rejecting traditional domestic gender roles by breaking free of the historic shackles of the ironing board or Loretta just being a terrible wife and partner who's too busy shopping all day to contribute anything of value to the marriage. This is most definitely a push, which means Leroy takes the day 2-1.

Official Count:

Leroy - 76
Loretta - 91
Push - 82