September 13, 2009: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Considering the grotesque, disproportionately large abominations the Lockhorns call their feet, you would assume that they would invest in their own pair of custom made bowling shoes. Also, why are the Lockhorns and their apathetic looking bowling partner dressed exactly the same as the terminally depressed employee working behind the counter? Do they moonlight there as part time employees on the weekends? Is there some sort of bizarre dress code at this particularly bowling alley? Are they part of some sort of bowling suicide cult? The only answer I know for sure is Leroy gets the point for making light of Loretta's stereotypical feminine indecisiveness.
• Those poor Lockhorns. Every time they want to go out to a restaurant and enjoy an actual meal not ruined by Loretta, they're constantly confronted with wait service that ranges from terrible to absurdly nonsensical. Today's encounter clearly falls on the absurd part of the spectrum. All the Lockhorns can do is stare in confused disbelief at their insane waiter and wonder when or if they'll ever taste actual food again. It's a push.
• Apparently there appears to be some sort of rule in the Lockhorn house that one can only watch reality programming on TV and Leroy is trying to fit the ballgame in under the definition. Of course Loretta would immediately protest any activity that would give Leroy a modicum of happiness so she immediately curtails his attempt to unwind after a busy day by catching the ballgame. For her swift fun policing actions, Loretta gets the point.
• The Lockhorns hit new levels of datedness as they resort to that age old domestic comedy routine: conflicts over leaving the toilet seat up. It's a joke that is, astonishingly, older and more tired than even the Lockhorns themselves (I'm pretty sure there are primitive prehistoric cave painting that essentially depict this line). It's such a generic and unoriginal line that it could probably be cut and pasted on any Lockhorns panel where Leroy is saying something to Loretta and Loretta looks unhappy. But hey, this is why I turn to the Lockhorns everyday: classic, timeless, domestic humor. Loretta gets the point for turning the tables (or in this case chairs) on Leroy. She goes up 2 to 1.
  
• Loretta puts Leroy away with a classic cocktail party smackdown. Once those ellipses turn up, you know it's game over for Leroy. Leroy's an idiot. Game. Set. Match. Judging by all the black formal wear and the muted colors, I'm starting to think this may more likely be a funeral rather than a drunken Long Island cocktail party. That would explain the especially dour expressions on all the other attendees (of course that could also just be from being in the same room with the Lockhorns). Loretta gets the point and takes the day with a strong 3 to 1 victory.

Official Count:

Leroy - 78
Loretta - 95
Push - 83