May 2, 2010: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Since Loretta can't stop Leroy's wandering gaze (although she has tried countless times), the next best thing for her to do is unleash one of her classic zingers about it to anyone unfortunate enough to be within earshot of her. Frankly, if I were in Leroy's position my eyes and attention would be hopelessly drawn to the sight of the towering black haired bimbo as well. However, it would be more due to a morbid curiosity over this strapping freak of nature than anything like Leroy's amorous oggling. Loretta starts the day off with the point.
• Leroy must have known that such a flamboyant golf ensemble would not escape Loretta's critical eye. It's almost as if he subconsciously wanted to be caught and humiliated. Maybe after so many years of abuse, he has developed a sort of twisted fetish for it? I think that's about as far as I'm willing to go in exploring Leroy's sexual perversions. As for Loretta, it's another hole in one. Loretta goes up 2-0.
• I wonder if it's the same sadistic airline that's constantly finding ways to worsen the Lockhorns' already terrible vacations or that there is a massive conspiracy between all national carriers to antagonize the Lockhorns. While the sarcastic greeting card is pretty mean, at least this time the airline took the time to inform the Lockhorns where their lost luggage was. Often times, they'll just immediately throw them away as soon as they land. Push, the score remains 2-0.
• Technically almost any food item can be cut with a knife, edible or inedible, but given the context of Loretta's bad cooking skills I get the point that Leroy's going after. Perhaps if it was clarified that it was soup or mashed potatoes or some other dish that wouldn't be right at all if it involved knife cutting then Leroy's comment would be more effective. Leroy could have also modified his comment to say that whatever Loretta cooked has to be "killed with a knife" for better effect. We've all heard better from Leroy at the dinner table, but it's still worth a point. Loretta leads 2-1.
• When was saying "we're out of gas" ever considered fun? Was it some old time phrase that meant one was having a good time ("boy this box social was so fun I'm totally out of gas")? Maybe Leroy has fond memories of the 1979 oil embargo? Considering Loretta's unbelievably destructive and deadly driving record, perhaps Leroy would have fond memories of a national gas shortage. I almost settled on a push here, but since it's Leroy outside sweating his way down the road to the nearest gas station and Loretta smugly relaxing in the car, I think she's entitled to the point. In the end it really doesn't matter as Loretta would have won the day anyway. Loretta takes this Sunday 3-1.

Official Count:

Leroy - 37
Loretta - 47
Push - 37