October 20, 2009

Well, it has finally happened. After decades of agonizing failures and tantalizing near misses, Loretta has finally managed to kill Leroy! It's interesting to note that Loretta's countless attempts at mariticide have become such a common sight among her friends and neighbors that her red dress wearing companion can barely muster a reaction at her casual confession. Unfortunately Loretta, in her comparisons of Leroy and his dead uncle Carl, is more likely referring to Leroy's extremely sedentary lifestyle and to a lesser extent how dead he is emotionally on the inside, than his literal vital signs. But, we can all dream, can't we? Loretta gets the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 91
Loretta - 113
Push - 89