Sunday, February 5, 2012

February 5, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:
  • My heart goes out to the poor gift counselor. Not only does she have to sit all day at her desk at the mall tirelessly listening to every clueless shopper's problems and dispensing gifting advice, she gets unwittingly conscripted to be a sounding board for Loretta's latest zingers about Leroy. Even worse is that the zingers aren't even that novel, Loretta's solicitation for "an offer" for her husband is essentially a rehash of the old "take my wife" line. No doubt the counselor, just like every other time, will politely ask Loretta to leave if she doesn't have a legitimate query. Push.
  • I don't know about everyone of else, but I had to look up what exactly a "heffalump" was. From what I've read there really aren't any characteristic similarities between the heffalump and Leroy. The heffalumps don't appear to be lazy or slovenly or deeply unhappy. It seems Loretta referenced them solely on the basis that their name sounds like something that would just sit around the house all day. If anything, Leroy shares many of the same traits as the terminally depressed Eeoyore. Loretta still gets the point.
  • Leroy's observation about Loretta's questionable food labeling really shows how truly awful Loretta's cooking skills are. Apparently her cooked dishes are so gross and disgusting that even she, the actual preparer of the dishes, is unsure about that they actually are after they are prepared. I had previously assumed that, no matter how terrible her creations came out, she would at least know what she was attempting to cook. The truth is it's pure anarchy. Leroy earns the point and ties the game up 1-1.
  • Loretta comes up with a pretty sweet burn at Leroy's lack of direction. I can't really explain it but I thought her diss about Leroy driving in circles was above average. I am assuming Loretta is looking at a map and navigating, unless she actually wrote out her insult ahead of time and is reading it off her notes (I wouldn't put it past her). The ever proud Leroy left himself wide open to this assault from Loretta by refusing to ask for directions or utilizing a GPS device. Loretta goes up 2-1.
  • Faced with the chance to prevent another Loretta Sunday victory and to salvage a tie in the fifth and final deciding panel, Leroy opts for a bizarre and ultimately pointless presentation to his friend about his homemade chart detailing his personal cellphone history. I'm not quite sure how one can even make a family tree of cellphone models. How exactly do two cellphones combine to give birth to a new model? An actual history of prior cellphones would just be a straight line indicating all the models Leroy went through. Loretta is sitting right there and this is the best he can offer? Loretta hangs on for the close 2-1 win.
Official Count:
Leroy - 12
Loretta - 19
Push - 5

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