November 27, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Not only does Loretta get herself a swift dig at Leroy, but her clever play on the old "cat got your tongue" axiom is also a cutting commentary on the decline of verbal conversation in the text-centric digital age. I do wonder what Leroy is doing on the computer. I suspect that he may be engaged in some kind of bitter flame war with another equally angry, misanthropic crank. Leroy also looks like the sort of person that goes around the comments sections of internet sites leaving unrelated rambling negative commentary, mostly about the evils of marriage and possibly about how Obama is a socialist. Loretta goes up 1-0.
• At most Leroy could be found guilty of four of the seven deadly sins: he has lust for all the towering bimbos he ogles in public and dances with at parties; one of his defining characteristics is his terminal laziness or sloth; both Lockhorns live in a constant state of hate and anger, sometimes exploding into rage and all the time simmering (seriously have you not seen the comic?); and one can assume that Leroy is envious of anyone he meets that's fortunate enough to have gotten married. As for greed, that's really Loretta's territory and with Loretta's cooking, Leroy can never be accused of being a glutton. Still, Loretta gets the point and goes up 2-0.
• After a relatively long absence it's good to see that Dr. Blog has not lost his trademark winning bedside manner. The comment is so reminiscent of Loretta's usual clever style that it's almost as if she sent him the line ahead of time to use (a possibility that I'm not willing to totally throw out). I do wonder how Leroy can gain so much weight despite not having had an edible cooked meal in decades. There must be a secret stash of junk food somewhere in the house. It's a push. Loretta leads 2-0.
• Loretta showing restraint at a clothing store? Have we entered a backwards, bizarro universe where up is down and wrong is right? Have the grim realities of the Great Recession finally penetrated Loretta's shielded consciousness? Maybe Leroy has finally wrestled some degree of influence over her ruinous spending habits. I have to consider Loretta's evaluation of what constitutes a reasonable price for an article of clothing, however, to be highly, highly subjective. I'm sure whatever "reasonable" purchase she makes will still cause plenty of damage. No Leroy present means it's a push. Loretta's 2-0 lead preemptively locks up the day.
• Not merely content with the guaranteed win, Loretta puts on an ostentatious display of bravado by running up the score in a shut out. The destruction isn't even limited to Leroy, she directs her reductive, cliched barbs at the male population at large! The 3% of my brain not devoted to thinking about sports is certainly feeling burned by Loretta's trenchant strike. I think I'll go watch some sports. Loretta reestablishes her Sunday dominance after two winless weeks with the most dominant Sunday performance I can recall.

Official Count:

Leroy - 112
Loretta - 130

Push - 89