Sunday, January 1, 2012

January 1, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:
  • A joke involving the Wagner opera "Tannhäuser"? When did "The Lockhorns" get so esoteric all of a sudden? Is this going to be a theme this year? Maybe I'm just an ignorant Philistine, but I actually had to look up what the heck Leroy was complaining about. At first glance, I originally thought the Lockhorns were in Germany for New Years and were walking to a train station called "Tannhäuser". Having established at least the subject of the panel, I still have no idea what's so funny about Leroy's complaint. Can you dumb it down a shade Lockhorns? This isn't an episode of "Fraiser". I'm going to assume, based on Loretta's unhappy demeanor that Leroy has offended her in some way and thus earns the first point of the year.
  • It took me a second to recognize the oddly shaped yellow mass on the ground at Leroy's feet as a football penalty flag. It's a pretty clever move on Loretta's part to admonish the football loving Leroy for holding the remote in football related terms. Personally, I've always wanted to do what Loretta did; carry around an official yellow penalty flag and throw it at people when I've subjectively deemed them to have committed a "penalty" in social situations whether it be making a highly offensive statement or double dipping chips. I just found that Amazon has a relatively extensive listing of such flags. Loretta earns the point and immediately ties things up at 1-1.
  • Loretta's gesture and comment about Leroy approaches something almost resembling affection. Of course the real heart of her actions was to prevent Leroy from feeling any kind of enjoyment by spitefully cock blocking him by reminding him he's still married to her and calling him a terrible mate in front of company. Let's not kid ourselves into thinking Loretta has suddenly gone soft. Loretta was right to make such a bold maneuver, this was a particularly sexy, scantily clad, wildly disproportionate, bimbo. You can feel the heat of Leroy's angry resentment coming off the screen. Loretta goes up 2-1.
  • I don't think there was any reason for anyone to think that Loretta was wearing a traditional promise ring. The Lockhorns don't need any help in maintaining their celibacy with each other. This is just Loretta heavily straining for an actual pun. Wouldn't any ring purchased by Leroy be a "promise ring"? Isn't this the basic principle of buying and selling an item? Every item Leroy has ever paid money for would fall under this lame categorization ("promise house", "promise television", "promise twin pack of BBQ Pringles"). Labored as it is, Loretta can still claim a point and locks up the day at 3-1.
  • Leroy makes a valid point to the marriage counselor about how poor communication between him and Loretta is a major factor in their unhealthy marriage. Clearly Loretta should try to better communicate her feelings and expectations to Leroy so he can better react to them. Of course, all this is if the Lockhorns were a real couple in a real marriage counselor's office actually trying to fix their marriage. In the crazy, dysfunctional, universe of the Lockhorns, Loretta may be literally expecting Leroy to read her mind. In either case, I suppose Loretta should work on being a better communicator. Leroy gets the point but Loretta takes the first Showdown of the year 3-2.
Official Count:
Leroy - 0
Loretta - 1
Push - 0

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