May 22, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• When Leroy just plops himself down on his recliner to decompose in front of the television like that he is just begging to be targeted. This time he becomes the victim of a swift drive-by (well, walk-by) mocking by Loretta, who laments to her friend what an unfortunate twist of fate it was to have first noticed him. Loretta's walk and talk insult is further enhanced by the fact that she and her friend are probably off to go spend all of Leroy's money at the mall. Loretta goes up 1-0.
  
• The Lockhorns' dire personal finances can also be summed up as "no money, mo' problems". I find Leroy's assumption that the Lockhorns even have money to throw at their many problems to be an oddly optimistic assessment of their financial health. Of course there is only one real problem (at least when it comes to the Lockhorns' pocketbooks): Loretta's crippling addiction to shopping. That's the problem that throws all their money away every month. Leroy missed a perfect opportunity to address that here. It's a push, still 1-0 Loretta.
• I think Leroy's sort of mildly witty play on the phrase voice "mail" and the dead letter office is less him trying to be clever and more him actually thinking that voice mail messages are literally converted into actual letters that are sent through the postal service. Leroy's confusion with modern forms of communication makes the late Senator Ted Stevens look like Steve Jobs. Loretta seems to be losing hope that Leroy will have any success in getting their Chinese food order in. Yet another push.
• Another progress free day at the marriage counselor's office. It must be beyond frustrating for counselor Pullman to always have his advice thrown right back at him as an indirect insult to the other Lockhorn. His decades of work with the Lockhorns either makes him an amazingly dedicated marriage counselor who refuses to quit or a completely unethical counselor who is just stringing along a hopelessly lost cause just for the billings. Loretta locks up the day with her second point, 2-0.
• This really is the most ideal situation for Loretta. On top of Leroy being beaten physically, Loretta gets to rub bitter salt on those fresh wounds by beating him emotionally with her mocking comments. With that said I never really understood the "best foot forward phrase", I never really considered one foot to be better or more effective than the other. Also, given the size of the Lockhorns' feet, I don't think it's all that difficult to actually put one of their feet in their mouths. Congratulations to Loretta for completing one of the most lopsided Sunday Showdowns in recent memory, an impressive 3-0 shutout!

Official Count:

Leroy - 54
Loretta - 51

Push - 37