Sunday, April 10, 2011

April 10, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:
  • Loretta cannot expect her miniskirt wearing friend and us to believe that it takes the Lockhorns an entire year to fill that modest swear jar. Realistically, they should be using multiple large empty water cooler containers. Perhaps they constantly replace these small jars over the course of the year and they just have some closet that is completely stuffed with jars of change. The possibility that the Lockhorns are paying their taxes every year with countless jars of loose change would give a possible explanation for the IRS's hostile attitude towards them. Push.
  • Loretta didn't even have to start singing while playing for Leroy to swoop in and mock her lack of talent. He even goes the extra mile and incorporates a little physical element to his diss by getting down on the floor; this is quite an effort given is reputation for extreme laziness. Also, I know I'm over thinking this, but wouldn't Beethoven, who became deaf in the latter half of his life, be incapable of hearing Loretta butchering his classics (putting aside the fact that he is also dead)? Leroy goes up 1-0.
  • One would expect that Leroy would ask for a dictionary here, but I guess a thesaurus would also suffice. Then again, if this is some sort of snooty French restaurant, as the stereotypical waiter would imply, then wouldn't Leroy want a French to English dictionary? Interestingly if Loretta requested the menu and the thesaurus on behalf of Leroy it would come off as a point in her favor, but here it's more a cranky Leroy complaining about the overly obscure menu. It's another push, Leroy still leads 1-0.
  • It seems the Lockhorns take the idea of marriage being a contract far too literally by negotiating really specific terms and obligations. Leroy's attempts to sneak in some more favorable terms in their renewed wedding vows is thwarted by the sharp eyed Loretta. Why neither of them ever put this much work in securing a long overdue divorce will be a complete mystery forever. For Loretta's attention to detail, she gets the point; 1-1.
  • Leroy is in truly rare form tonight as he manages to swiftly alienate everyone in their white void cocktail party in record time. Loretta of course is right there to congratulate him as soon as possible. If I where Leroy I would start hustling towards the exit immediately, it would appear that everyone else at the party is conspiring to murder him. That couple on the purple bean bags look particularly malicious. Loretta excels down the stretch and pulls out the tight 2-1 victory.
Official Count:
Leroy - 38
Loretta - 34
Push - 28

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