February 13, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• It looks like the Lockhorns have decided to kick this Sunday off with a sardonic commentary on new technology trends; and by "new" I mean "long established for the past decade". The fact that the Lockhorns have a collection of music media that goes all the way back to player piano rolls only further backs my theory that they are immortal beings destined since the dawn of time to snipe at each other forever. I'm inclined to suspect that Leroy is actually downloading more pinups of gigantic bimbos to ogle and that Loretta is calling his bluff; but since there isn't enough evidence here let's all assume he's actually downloading music. It's a push.
• Boy it appears that Leroy really went off the rails this time. The disheveled appearance, shaky posture, glazed look, grotesque nose discoloration, and empty bottle under his arm indicates a night of heavy drinking or possible participation in an underground fight club, or both. Meanwhile, in light of Leroy's dismal state, Loretta plays it extra mean by cruelly dangling the shimmering prospect of a divorce in front of him; something Leroy can only hope for in his wildest dreams. Loretta takes the lead 1-0.
• Leroy is being grossly unfair to airline, hospital, and prison food by comparing it to Loretta's cooking. All three of those foods are at least, at a bare minimum, fit for human consumption and Leroy would gladly place himself in any one of those situations to get a meal. I guess he's just trying to put the terribleness of Loretta's food into terms comprehensible to the uninitiated like our poor guest. Sadly this will be the last thing he will ever hear since he failed to head Leroy's warning and took a bite. Leroy ties it at 1-1.
• It seems decades upon decades of chronic nagging has left Leroy deaf in one ear; now it's time for Loretta to start making fun of it. There is the possibility that Leroy is actually just faking it in an attempt to ignore Loretta or he has taken the more drastic action of spitefully inflicting permanent hearing loss on himself to tune her out. In the end though, none of these actions seem likely to stop Loretta anytime soon. Loretta takes the lead 2-1.
• My main question here is: why would Loretta even be nagging Leroy to rake the leaves in winter?! Is she even aware anymore of what she's nagging about or has she just developed some sort of autopilot nagging mode that spits out random topics regardless of situation? Ideally, she should be nagging Leroy to, I don't know, maybe shovel the snow! Judging by Loretta's defeated stare, I think she knows she missed an opportunity here and Leroy took advantage of it to mock her. Perhaps she'll learn to be less sloppy in the future. Leroy manages to tie it 2-2 and ends the day on a push.

Official Count:

Leroy - 15
Loretta - 16
Push - 13