October 11, 2009: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Loretta nails a strike right down the middle with her deflating, double layered comment to Leroy about how the latest object of his ogling is literally and figuratively "out of his league". While according to Loretta it would seem that the beady eyed, buxom, blonde struggling to lift her bowling ball is on a rival league team, from here they all seem to be wearing the same uniforms. However, there is past evidence that would seem to suggest that everyone, from customers to employees, all dress like that at this bizarro bowling alley. Loretta jumps ahead 1-0.
• The good counselor Pullman finds himself in an all too familiar position: desperately trying in vain to restrain the Lockhorns from physical violence. In today's session, the counselor's mere suggestion of a common trust exercise has turned into tense standoff between the Lockhorns over who will get the first opportunity to cripple the other one. The clenched fists seem to indicate that the rock, papper, scissors showdown will quickly escalate into straight up fisticuffs. Sadly, this can be considered one of the Lockhorns' more productive sessions. It's a push.
• The Lockhorns find themselves window shopping in front of Franklyn Furs on Jericho Turnpike in Syosset. Loretta pulls off a deft reversal of Leroy's facetious animal rights excuse for ending the conversation about purchasing an expensive fur coat by calling him out on his bluff and threatening to make all his future meals out of tofu. Of course, given Loretta's notoriously terrible cooking skills, the promise of any future meals would be threat enough. If Leroy was a little sharper he would have responded by mentioning how if she went through with her threatened tofu meals, it would actually be the first time she prepared a meal with real, edible food. Alas, Leroy misses his opportunity and Loretta goes up by 2.
• In an extremely rare showing of cooperation and general lack of animosity, the Lockhorns appear to be actually working together to accomplish a shared task. There aren't any snide comments, or spiteful backstabbing, or angry scowls. It seems Leroy and Loretta's shared melancholy at the remorseless march of time and the bleak realities of the autumn years of their lives has somehow led to a brief, fleeting ceasefire in their never ending domestic war of attrition. A shocking and unexpected push.
• Leroy manages to find an unexpected silver lining to being stuck in a slow moving line at the local DMV, missing an apppointment with Dr. Blog. Can you really blame him for being so enthusiastic about missing another session of indifferent malpractice at the hands of that butcher? Leroy will gladly take a frustrating day at the DMV over a doctor's visit anyday. Unfortunately, Leroy's enthusiasm doesn't appear to contagious as fellow queue member Wilford Brimley remains unamused. With that second consecutive push, Loretta coasts to a shut out Sunday victory 2 to 0.
  

Official Count:

Leroy - 88
Loretta - 109
Push - 87