June 14, 2009: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Yes Loretta, we all saw that scene from "Creepshow" with Leslie Nielson and Ted Danson. She really isn't playing it subtle here at all. Menacingly holding a sand shovel while questioning your victim about the tide patterns is a pretty obvious way of going about a murder. Even a distracted, bimbo watching, Leroy should be able to put two and two together. Of course, regardless of success, any attempt at spousal homicide is worth a point in my book. Loretta takes the lead.
• Loretta does a fine job turning the tables on the purchaser of the jewelry (obviously Leroy) by asking for an appraisal of him. However, the fatal flaw in the scene is the omission of Leroy. Even if the jeweler had something insulting to say about the "value" of Leroy, the fact that he's not there to be hurt by it nullifies the effect. It's a de facto push.
• Judging by Leroy's completely, limp, and lifeless position and interpreting "post-game" as Loretta's euphemism for "post-life", then it would appear that she has finally succeeded in poisoning Leroy and is gloating to her perpetually indifferent friend. While the more obvious reading is that Loretta is mocking Leroy for having characteristically fallen asleep while watching sports on TV, we can all dream can we? Loretta goes two up.
• The never ending conflict between the Lockhorns and the medical community spills out onto the golf course. The Lockhorns take a brief reprieve from insulting each other and direct their sardonic wit at the twin doctors playing ahead of them. Their hate filled scowls seem to indicate that they're about one more put down away from savagely beating the Lockhorns with their clubs. "Do no harm" indeed. It's a push.
• It's a disturbing situation when Loretta appears to be the source of calm and reason in an automobile. As dangerous as Loretta is with her criminally reckless driving, Leroy is just as dangerous due to his explosive road rage. God help the poor soul who was unfortunate enough to have cut him off; the last thing he/she will see before the impact will be the frightening sight of an accelerating cherry red LeBaron driven by a crazed fat bald man . A push for the road. Loretta takes the day with a two nothing shut out.
  

Official Count:
Leroy - 48
Loretta - 58
Push - 59