February 28, 2010: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Loretta has met a worthy contemporary in terms of sarcasm and causticity. When approached by Loretta for tips on getting her husband to notice her, the bitter department store saleswoman, implying that no amount of beauty products, designer clothing, or fashionable accessories was going to make Loretta attractive to Leroy, breaks out an ESPN t-shirt which she obviously brought on her own to the store for such moments like this. In one swift maneuver, the saleswoman mocks both the sports-centric narrow minded nature of men and also digs a little on Loretta's homeliness. In the end it's a push, but still a fairly entertaining push.
• I think the basic humor of seeing a man awkwardly falling down transcends cultures and works on a universal level. With that being said, unfortunately it looks like another broken hip, another visit with Dr. Blog, and another few months in traction for poor Leroy. I guess silk sheets and having your vengeful wife push you out of bed randomly in the middle of the night when you least expect it don't go together. Crude and more than a little sadistic, but effective. Loretta goes up 1-0.
• Leroy really misses out on a prime opportunity to get a quick jab in about Loretta's stereotypically bad female driving. I'm a little confused with Loretta's story. So did the police officer give Loretta a ticket for texting while driving when you was actually putting on makeup while driving or did the officer give her a ticket for generally being a distracted driver? Or I guess the main point is that Loretta drives under the incorrect assumption that only texting while driving is illegal? Let's call it a push and move on. Loretta is still up 1-0.
• Loretta's ancient mother is once again in Leroy's sardonic crosshairs. It's interesting to note that just this Thursday Leroy implied that Loretta's mother was a vampire and now it seems that he's implying that she may be a werewolf (at the very least a giant bitch). There is no doubt that this progression of classic movie monster insults will lead to mummy references in the near future. Leroy ties it up at 1-1.
• The Lockhorns find themselves in a relatively hip shindig in the orange void of one of their trendier acquaintances. Leroy is breaking out the informal, tie-less look while Loretta sticks with her usual "Mrs. White from Clue" attire. While Loretta may quite well be whispering some devastating insult about Leroy to her friends, it's actually Leroy whom we get to hear the first and final rank out; condemning Loretta's gossipy ways. So after a slow start, a late surge by Leroy gets him the point and the day 2-1.

Official Count:

Leroy - 16
Loretta - 22
Push - 21