February 7, 2010: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Today we find the Lockhorns engaged in a particularly heated scene inside the unrelenting chamber of horrors that is the marriage counselor's office. Unfortunately for counselor Pullman, he made the fatal mistake of accidentally engaging in conversation with Leroy instead of his usual procedure of carefully feigning interest in Leroy's complaints. Because of one casual slip of the tongue, the poor counselor must now be forced to endure an extended diatribe against marriage by Leroy. At this point, Pullman can only hope for the end of the session or a sudden stroke to give him any relief. Leroy starts off 1-0.
• Ever the stereotypical football mad husband, Leroy attempts to turn Super Bowl Sunday into some sort of personal gift giving day (although I'm not quite sure how the exchanging of gifts is supposed to relate to a celebration of professional football). You can see by the rare hopeful look in his eye that he was really counting on Loretta's support; this makes Loretta's immediate rebuff of Leroy's earnest try at starting a new family tradition all the more heartbreaking. Loretta ties it up 1-1.
• Leroy's birthday celebration continues onto its second day of misery and disappointment. In true Lockhorn form, Leroy turns the normally lighthearted act of blowing out ones birthday candles into a melancholy rumination on the ravages of aging and the unavoidable truth of mortality. While it's absolutely possible that Leroy is in such poor health that he can't even blow out his birthday candles, Loretta obviously contributed by adding trick candles to ensure his failure. Loretta gets the point.
• Loretta takes advantage of Leroy getting lost on their usual Sunday drive to point out his gross hypocrisy. Given the unavoidable increase in tension that comes from being forced together into a closed space for an extended period of time, the Lockhorns must be driven by mutual masochism to agree to taking such drives together. All Leroy can do now is soak in the hate and to continue considering the odds of him and not Loretta surviving if he drives into the oncoming lane on the Long Island Expressway. Loretta seals the day, 3-1.
• After some research, I was a little disappointed that "Chick-N-D-Lish" appeared to be a fictional establishment (at the very least not on Long Island). Maybe it's for the best. The place certainly has a questionable amount of hyphens in their name and their sign, consisting of a profile head shot of a chicken, won't likely encourage anyone's appetite. Loretta certainly enjoys her trips to "Chick-N-D-Lish", since it gives her ample opportunities to embarrass Leroy in front of other couples by commenting how he can single-handedly endanger entire breeds of animals through eating. Also, isn't Leroy a bit too formally dressed to be eating at an all you can eat fried chicken restaurant? After dropping the first scene, Loretta earns four straight victories to deliver another historically dominant 4-1 Sunday Showdown win!
  

Official Count:

Leroy - 8
Loretta - 15
Push - 15