January 31, 2010: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Loretta is obviously making light of Leroy's trademark road rage after a Sunday drive, but I think this scene would be a lot more interesting if Leroy actually drove Loretta through some sort of twisted, Deliverance-esque, backwater region full of inbred morons and lunatics in the hopes of abandoning her there. His failure to forsake Loretta in the middle of sadistic hillbilly country would also explain the frustrated look on Leroy's face as he grumbles back home in defeat. In either case, Loretta comes out the winner; 1-0.
• Leroy uses his trusty iPod to not only drown out the annoying sounds of the opera but also to enjoy books despite his illiteracy. Unfortunately for Leroy, indulging in his audio books also opens him to endless ridicule from Loretta. Tonight he incorrectly presumed that Loretta had already fallen asleep and that it was safe to break out the latest bestseller without fear of mockery. It was a fatal mistake indeed. Loretta assumes full control with another point.
• Judging by Loretta's guilty satisfied smile, it's more than likely that she has somehow tampered with the Lockhorns' fancy talking bathroom scale so that it would give Leroy an insulting response with regards to his weight. It's pretty unbelievable that a woman who has yet to learn how to properly drive an automobile could manage the complex task of manipulating an electronic scale to crack jokes. When it comes to hurtfully ridiculing each other, the Lockhorns are capable of amazing feats. Loretta is running away with the day, 3-0.
• In a deft display of bold brinkmanship, Loretta manages to stop Leroy from breaking out a criticism about her terrible food at the dinner table. What should should have been a winning line by Leroy about the similarities between plastic wrap and the glaze Loretta puts in her meals is preemptively diffused and re-characterized as Loretta mocking Leroy for not being able to tell the difference between plastic wrap and her glaze. If Loretta's going to be putting up amazing insults like this, we might as well crown her the champ right now. It's a laughable 4-0 runaway!
• Leroy manages to save a scant bit of face by making a snide cocktail party remark about Loretta's garrulousness when it comes to her medical history and the hypocrisy of her refusals to formally release her medical records. In addition to preserving a little bit of pride, Leroy manages to stay out of the record books by spoiling Loretta's bid for an unprecedented perfect Sunday. For now, Loretta just has to settle for an impressive 4-1 blow out of Leroy and winning her first Sunday Showdown of the year in grand fashion.

Official Count:
Leroy - 7
Loretta - 11
Push - 13