August 2, 2009: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Even on these rare occasions when Loretta leaves the house to shop for food rather than clothing and shoes, she still manages to distress Leroy with her spending by mentioning her purchase of an expensive Tiffany bag for the mere task of carrying groceries. What's even more distressing is that she actually uses her designer bags like disposable shopping bags, thus plunging the household into further debt. Well played Loretta.
• As it turns out the Lockhorns and their uncanny ability to make everything they touch worthless and terrible may be the major reason for all the economic turmoil of the previous year and our nation's current recession. It's clear that government bailouts and increased securities regulation are a complete waste of time and money when the key to our nation's economic recovery is merely preventing the Lockhorns from having any contact with the financial markets. Push.
• It looks like the Blind Melon bumblebee look is once again back in style. It's bad enough for Loretta to be caught wearing the same dress as another at the party and thus guilty of a serious fashion faux pas; but Leroy manages to really turn the knife by coldly insulting her rotund figure and ogling the similarly dressed bimbo. The only thing that could possibly make Loretta feel even more embarrassed and upset would be if a bucket of pigs blood was suddenly dumped on her Carrie style. A fantastic point for Leroy.
• Loretta's mocking concern for the safety of her new lamp stand after Leroy has suffered massive internal injuries from a horrific fall from the top of the stairs is pretty damn mean, but when you consider the high likelihood that Loretta was responsible for Leroy's "accidental" fall down the stairs, her callousness seems downright evil and sadistic. Although I have yet to see it, this is probably the closest one of the Lockhorns have come to crossing that line from cartoonish antagonism to unsettling cruelty. Loretta emphatically goes up 2 to 1.
• One can scarcely begin to fathom the untold carnage and havoc Loretta has caused while on the road. Each dented bumper, busted headlamp, twisted antenna, shattered window, blood stained tire can tell their own gruesome tale. So many mailboxes busted, animals run over, bikers lost. This isn't a car...it's a murder weapon. Leroy gets the point and manages to salvage an overall push.

Official Count:

Leroy - 66
Loretta - 79
Push - 69