May 3, 2009: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

• For such an unhappy couple imprisoned by the modern trappings of suburbia, the Lockhorns sure have a wide variety of hobbies. Today we find the Lockhorns out on the local pond engaging in same duck hunting. While Loretta claims its the inadequacy of Leroy's duck calls that's preventing any duck sightings, I think the loud stripes and bright green bandanna of her ensemble may be tipping the fowl. While Loretta obviously wins this round, judging by the look in his eye and his loaded shotgun, he may end up the true victor when he returns back to shore with an empty boat.
• Apparently the latest Redbook was running a "Is Your Husband A Pennypinching, Fat Balding, Obnoxious, Moron?". This is another case of Leroy being such a disappointing husband/companion/general human being that he actually wins by virtue of annoying/disgusting Loretta into submission. It's a bold gambit. Keep and keeping on Leroy, you're doing fine.
• Wait, wait a minute. Lorreta is making fun of Leroy for his expensive purchases? Have I stumbled into some backwards bizarro world where white is black and people say hello when they leave? This would be like Leroy giving Loretta advice on how to be more personable with people at parties. Plus, considering the Lockhorns' monstrously large and misshapen feet forces them to get their shoes specially ordered from select big and tall stores, $150 for a sweet pair of designer Chuck Taylors isn't all that exorbitant. However, an insults an insult, Loretta takes the lead.
• I know this exaggerated scene of Leroy framing his no student loan notice is suppose to show how frugal Leroy is and how he values the fact that he paid off his student debts on par his college education, but frankly I'd probably do the same thing. If the day ever comes when I finally pay off the tens of thousands of dollars in debt accumulated over four years of undergrad and three years of law school, you better believe I'm framing that sucker, maybe even throw a "No More Loans" Party. It looks like a push.
  
• Does anybody have any idea how the phrase "untold wealth" comes up during a casual after dinner conversation? Loretta's got to be setting these situations up by steering the conversation to a select group of phrases that she's prepared and practiced hours before the guests arrive. This may be a partial explanation for her substandard cooking, she devotes far too much of her cooking time to thinking up the eventual after meal puns and one liners. Sure it makes her a bad cook, but it certainly gets her points. And with that Loretta takes the day with a domination 3 to 1 performance.
  

Official Count:
Leroy - 32
Loretta - 45
Push - 46