November 8, 2009: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Leroy kicks things off in fine fashion with a decisive strike at Loretta's age, one of her most sensitive of issues. The fact that the biting remark comes at a dinner function in front of acquaintances is just the extra frosting on the cake. Loretta's forced smile and feigning of ignorance of the insult barely restrains the obvious hurt and humiliation that is bubbling up inside of her. Leroy takes the early lead 1-0.
• When it comes to one on one verbal sparring, it's Loretta who almost always comes up the winner. Here, Loretta completely strikes Leroy down with just a simple, clever punchline. Despite his best efforts, Leroy just doesn't have the proficient verbal skills of Loretta to compete with her. It's really in his best interests to avoid such straight up back and forth arguments, they are mainly traps for him to lose to Loretta. You just don't challenge the master at their home. Loretta ties it up.
• Leroy diabolically gets Loretta back at her own game by promising her tickets to "the theater", only to bring her to a surgical theater to witness gruesome surgery. He can continue to firmly plead ignorance all he wants but it's obvious that this was a carefully premeditated misunderstanding. This is definitely one of the most creative and clever points Leroy has scored all year. Leroy goes up 2 to 1.
• Loretta emphatically reaffirms her intense, long held disdain for old guy/young bimbo pairings at the May/December wedding of an acquaintance. There is absolutely no doubt that she will give a long and spirited filibuster when the reverend rhetorically asks if anyone has any objections to the impending nuptials; thereby ruining the wedding. As for Leroy, he can only quietly look on with a deep, burning envy at the lucky groom. It's a push.
• It appears that the ubiquitous hype of the Brett Farve/Green Bay Packers saga has reached even the Lockhorns, albeit a week after the actual game. Can anyone explain to me why a couple from Long Island would suddenly develop such die hard ties with two distant NFC North teams? I think the Lockhorns' inherent hatred for each other causes them to take contrary sides on any controversy they come across whether it be in sports, politics, the weather, etc. Also what is up with Leroy's suit? Apparently his entire body has somehow become a mystical portal to another universe. It's another push, which means Leroy carries the day with a 2 to 1 victory.

Official Count:

Leroy - 97
Loretta - 123
Push - 92