November 13, 2009

We seem to be entering day three Loretta's birthday blowout bacchanal with Leroy giving Loretta his personally selected birthday gift. Apparently the only gifts Leroy ever gives Loretta are irons and vacuum cleaners; one alternating with the other every year. While giving a gift could dangerously be construed as a sign of affection, Leroy protects himself from any such risks by making them offensively sexist. I think the bow is a nice touch, it says to Loretta that he really put a lot of effort into getting this terrible gift. It's like leaving a penny as a tip to a bad waiter rather than nothing. It really drives home the spiteful deliberateness. Leroy gets the point and finally reaches the one hundred mark.

Official Count:

Leroy - 100
Loretta - 125
Push - 92