Sunday, April 4, 2010

April 4, 2010: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:
  • Leave it to Loretta to exploit Leroy's deep-seated middle-aged insecurities to get him to do chores around the house. There's really no way Loretta could have lost in this situation. Leroy does the work, Loretta brags to her bespectacled friend about how susceptible to manipulation Leroy is. If Leroy refuses to do the yard work, Loretta could complain to her bespectacled friend about how lazy Leroy was. Game. Set. Match. Loretta starts off the Sunday with a point.
  • You really can't tell what unexpected and wondrous avenues Loretta will take with her insults. For example, in this scene you would expect that Loretta would throw out some lazy line about the unflattering nature of Leroy's pants. However, she surprises all (especially Leroy) with a surprising dig at Leroy's at-home slobbiness and his inability to properly put his dirty clothes in the hamper. Forget even evaluating the pants for purchase, she's already thinking two moves ahead. She's really putting on a clinic today, 2-0.
  • Even the supposedly boundless capabilities of the Internet are no match for Loretta on a shopping binge. As it turns out, given the ease and flexibility of E-Commerce, Loretta can make purchases totaling in the billions. Somehow she has managed to accumulate such an astronomical amount of items to purchase that the whole of the Internet cannot match it. It was a case of an unstoppable shopping force running into a seemingly infinite shop and the shop had to cry "no mas". All Leroy can do is mock her and hope for more time from the creditors. Loretta still leads 2-1.
  • If I was the parent of a new born, I would do everything in my power to prevent any exposure between my infant and the Lockhorns. The exposure to such a harsh dose of terminal unhappiness and spite could possibly be fatal (additionally, the grotesquely misshapen features of the Lockhorns would likely induce life long trauma). Someone should really alert child services about the above couple, no child should be in the same room with such terrible insults (or adults for that matter). Negligent parents aside, Loretta takes over 3-1.
  • It looks like we're in for another one of Leroy's deep insights into the fragile complexities of love. Professor Leroy's lesson on love for today? Love will lead to your complete downfall and personal ruin. However, I am a little suspicious about Leroy's conclusions. His reference to personal experience would imply that he actually was at one point "in love" with Loretta, which is obviously a total fiction. Regardless, Leroy can still be credited with a point. So after one of the most spirited of Sunday Showdowns, Loretta holds on for the 3-2 win.
Official Count:
Leroy - 27
Loretta - 38
Push - 29

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