April 20, 2010

Usually the Lockhorns like to reserve the depressing household financial conversations for the big old timey desk, but this time they're opting for the kitchen table. While most of these dour discussions about the Lockhorns' money woes usually end in a sad push, Leroy manages to deftly spin the situation into a point against Loretta. Leroy briefly raises Loretta's hope for a possible Saturday night on the own perhaps boring Leroy at an opera or museum exhibit, but he quickly gives Loretta the cold sobering backhand of their economic reality. Well done, indeed. Leroy earns the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 33
Loretta - 42
Push - 34

April 19, 2010

Even though at this point in their long unhappy marriage both Lockhorns are fairly callous to the hurtful insults they sling back and forth to each other, every once in a while one of them really manages to still hit the bone. Leroy's pained expression reveals that Loretta really struck a sore spot with her mean-spirited comment. Perhaps Leroy took great pride in finally finishing his simple wooden bookshelf after all those decades of slow inept home carpentry. Aside from the devastating results, props must also be given to Loretta for taking the bold risk of needling Leroy while he has a dangerous implement in his hand. Loretta gets the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 32
Loretta - 42
Push - 34

April 18, 2010: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

• The most interesting thing about this panel is the reaction of Loretta's friend, she seems to be quite noticeably offended by either the ridiculously doctored picture or Loretta's photoshopping admission (or perhaps a combination of both). The usual reaction by an acquaintance to any terrible pun or action by the Lockhorns' is one of weary, vacant, glazed-over indifference. Perhaps after decades upon decades of bearing passive witness to the horrors of the Lockhorns' endless domestic conflict all their friends and neighbors have begun to reach a tipping point. With no Leroy present though, it's a push.
• Loretta's zinger actually pulls off a double shot, nailing Leroy's latest bimbo as a baby with Leroy getting the indirect insult of being a cradle robber. It's a quality rank out and all but I also feel for the bimbo that unfortunately got caught in the middle. The poor Amazon was minding her own business, sipping cocktails, enjoying the party, struggling to keep her freakishly disproportionate frame from toppling over, when she unwittingly becomes collateral damage to Loretta's attack on Leroy. When it comes to the Lockhorns, innocent causalities are inevitable. Loretta gets the first point.
• Sing it proud sister! Loretta strikes a blow for 60's women's rights by rebelling against the traditional domestic chore of a wife picking up after her husband. She makes it bluntly clear to Leroy that if he is going to treat her like a domestic servant, she intends to be paid a fee. Considering how between the shopping, bad driving, and shrew nagging Loretta bears enough negative female stereotypes to personally set back the women's lib movement a century, I'm pretty sure there's no actual feminist motivation behind Loretta's ultimatum. She is obviously just trying to be a jerk to Leroy; and it works, Loretta goes up 2-0.
• Actually, Leroy's statement is fairly accurate. Some drivers attempt to draft and get better gas mileage on the road by intentionally tailgating behind other vehicles. Given Leroy's well known financial struggles he is always looking for ways to lighten the burden on his paycheck, including at the pump. In addition to annoying Loretta, the inherent danger of getting into a fiery car wreck that would result in his or her death adds further incentive to keep tailgating. Also, is Loretta in any position to criticize anyone about dangerous driving? Leroy makes it 2-1.
• Leroy has apparently stumbled upon the fact that Loretta suffers from a rare neurological dysfunction where conversations about sports render her unconscious. This would explain why Loretta is always so quick to prevent Leroy from watching any sports programming at home (aside from that fact that it is something that gives Leroy joy). He would be well served to always have a portable radio on hand tuned to the FAN whenever he needs a break from her nagging. It's quite a discovery. Leroy ties it up 2-2, which means the Sunday ends as a push.

Official Count:

Leroy - 32
Loretta - 41
Push - 34

April 17, 2010

A clever pun by Loretta, but with Leroy's absence it is unfortunately all for naught. If I were Loretta I would be less swaggering and more suspicious about any gift from Leroy. Unless Leroy was forced to purchase the gift via blackmail or some other form of duress by Loretta, all signs would appear to point to some kind of sinister ulterior motive. She should really listen closely for any odd ticking noises emanating from the pendant. On a side note, what is up with Loretta's friend on the far left side of the panel? Her head is literally the size of the rest of her body! Even by the usual grotesquely disproportionate body standards of the Lockhorn universe, she is nothing short of nightmarish. It's a push.

Official Count:

Leroy - 32
Loretta - 41
Push - 33

April 16, 2010

I suspect that Leroy wasn't deliberately trying to mock Loretta with today's comment. I believe his original intention was to look out for his potbellied friend and assure him that when Loretta stated she was going to slip "into something more comfortable" she wasn't going to change into anything that would reveal more of her objectionable figure. I think we all share the friend's immense sense of relief at Leroy's clarification. Although Leroy may not have initially intended it, he did end up with a solid jab at Loretta (in front of an acquaintance no less) and at the end of the day Leroy finds himself with the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 32
Loretta - 41
Push - 32

April 15, 2010

Where else would the Lockhorns be on Tax Day then at their local IRS branch office raining misery and sorrow on their unfortunate case officer? Loretta sharply turns the case officer's simple inquiry into Leroy's income into another opportunity to belittle Leroy's low earnings in front of an audience. As humiliating as it may be for Leroy, this may actually benefit the household in the long run since it does make a compelling argument: someone who has bought no new clothes in over 40 years would likely have no income let alone extra hidden income. Loretta earns the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 31
Loretta - 41
Push - 32

April 14, 2010

Even right after returning home from receiving significant dental work and under the lingering effects of Novocaine, Leroy still manages to slur out a sharp barb about Loretta's cooking; quite an impressive feat. In addition to Leroy's admirable performance playing hurt, you also have to give props for his resourcefulness. He obviously set his dental appointment with the expectation that he would be able to miss dinner. When his appointment unfortunately ended early enough for him to come home for supper he clearly made the most out of a bad situation by rushing home so he could at least trash Loretta's cooking and have the benefit of numbing out the pain of the meal. Leroy scores the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 31
Loretta - 40
Push - 32