March 11, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• If I were Leroy I would be far more self conscious about the freakishly unnatural shape of my head than my bald spot. Just look at that flat, barren mesa! You could land commercial airliners on that platform. He could give Flattop from "Dick Tracy" a run for his money. As ridiculous as the gigantic sombrero would look on Leroy, it still may be an improvement over the usual ludicrous sight of his uncovered head. It would definitely cut down on all the hours he must spend applying sunscreen to it on sunny days outdoors. Loretta gets the point.
• I have to admit, there is definitely a solid core of truth to the old joke about exercise machines eventually getting ignored and becoming clothes hangers. The weight machine in my basement isn't completely ignored but it has probably logged more time overall as an improvised laundry drying rack than as an exercise device. Although he is off panel, I am going to assume Leroy is within shouting distance of Loretta to be officially insulted. While the two burly deliverymen don't seem to be all that impressed, Loretta still earns herself a point and takes a commanding 2-0 lead.
• With any other imaginable couple, Leroy's comment about Loretta's forgiving nature would have come off as loving and self deprecating. In the context of the Lockhorns it's just a spiteful boast by Leroy about how often he has managed to successfully offend her over the years. Loretta's bitter gaze indicates that he isn't exaggerating. Another day, another awkward bit of monochromatic cocktail party conversation. Leroy gets on the board; it's 2-1 Loretta.
• You have to admire Loretta's dedication towards antagonizing Leroy. What spouse would sit up silently all night at the kitchen table in the darkness, waiting for the off chance to catch their husband coming down to the fridge for a secret late-night snack? Some might consider Loretta's actions to be disturbingly excessive, but really that is the sort of monomaniacal, psychopathic dedication that has made her a multiple time champion. If Leroy is ever going to win a year he'll have to match that level of obsessive, iron resolve (or at least stop cheating on his diet). Loretta cliches the day, 3-1.
• I don't have the actual stats to back it up, but it seems to me that Leroy actually performs better in the garbage time after a Sunday is already decided for Loretta. Maybe it's the lack of stakes and expectations or perhaps Loretta is relaxing her for off the gas, but Leroy often manages to make the showdowns seem closer then they really were. Here, Leroy takes a page out of Gandhi's playboko by relying on civil disobedience and passive inaction to fight back against Loretta's tyrannical nagging. He should really utilize this tactic more often, if there's one thing Leroy is skilled at it's being passive. Leroy scores the point but Loretta takes the day 3-2.

Official Count:

Leroy - 24

Loretta - 35

Push - 12