Official Count:
Leroy - 35
Loretta - 30
Loretta - 30
Push - 25
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
March 27, 2011: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Although Leroy has been often portrayed as being somewhat hostile to the arts (particularly when Loretta drags him to a theater or opera), today he displays a surprising interest in being a patron to kitsch clown painters. Of course Loretta does not miss a beat in laying the hammer down on Leroy for his eccentric interests. Interestingly while Loretta gets the burn credit, it doesn't really even seem to phase Leroy's unwarranted confidence in the value of his hideous painting. Only time will tell if Leroy's investment will pan out. As for now, Loretta gets the point.
- It would appear that Loretta has received her latest issue of "Angry Wife Monthly" magazine. It's pretty rare for her to rely on something other than her usual caustic wit to take Leroy to task, but an opportunity is an opportunity. Leroy should really invest some time in trying to find a equivalent husband-centered magazine with their own slanted questionnaire designed to insult the taker. Loretta take a commanding 2-0 lead.
- There is an unexpected sadness to this particular scene. While we're all not strangers to the Lockhorns worrying about their finances at the big desk, they usually involve more cartoonish debt situations like paying down Loretta's ridiculous credit card bill or her outrageous long distance charges. The sight of the Lockhorns struggling with basic necessities like food and heat is a touch too real for my tastes. More crazy shopping receipts please. Score remains 2-0, Loretta.
- I'm not sure why Leroy would ever agree to be stranded for an extended period of time in a small motor boat with Loretta. I can only guess that it's all part of a secret plan to drown Loretta and make it look like an accident. As for Leroy's lack of patience, if he is actually in the room while Loretta is dressing I think his eagerness to leave is more than understandable. I don't think even a blind person could really stand too much time in that scenario. Loretta continues the rout by going up 3-0.
- Seeing has how dire the Lockhorns' home money problems are from the third panel, it's a smart move by Leroy to bear the agony and humiliation of accompanying Loretta to the mall during her latest sprees in an attempt to curtail some of her spending. Despite being given the throughly emasculating task of carrying absurdly tiny bags for Loretta while she clothes shops, Leroy still manages to get a jab in on her expense to a fellow neutered husband. Leroy salvages some respect but still gets stomped 3-1. Loretta takes the day.
Official Count:
Leroy - 33
Loretta - 29
Loretta - 29
Push - 24
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
March 20, 2011: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- In Leroy's defense, I hardly know much more about the equinox. I know it's a day that comes twice a year where there is supposedly and equal amount of night and day or something like that. Frankly I didn't even know it was today until I read the panel. Leroy probably isn't as clueless as Loretta claims and likely has some personal pet name for the equinox and understands it as a concept. On the other hand Loretta is actually being somewhat generous to Leroy in implying that he can actually read a dictionary. Loretta gets the point.
- You'd think that with all the early round March Madness play going on this weekend that Leroy would be annoying Loretta with his NCAA basketball watching rather than NBA; but I guess Leroy just prefers the higher quality product of the pro game. Judging by the crude image of the bald player in white, it would appear that Leroy is watching Heat backup center Zydrunas "Big Z" Ilgauskas in a Miami home game. Regardless, Loretta is none too pleased (then again everybody hates the Heat). Leroy ties things up at 1.
- We see the Lockhorns angrily walking out of yet another fruitful session at the marriage counselor's office. We didn't get to see the actual carnage of the session but based on Loretta's complaint to Leroy about his creation of the clever portmanteau "nagathon", it was Leroy who got the best dig in. This is quite a refreshing change of pace for Leroy. Loretta is usually the expert wordsmith when it comes to insults. Perhaps he's growing as a competitor. Leroy goes up 2-1.
- I thought initially that Leroy's comment meant that all the generations were killed by the toxic nature of the recipe, but that would have meant they tried it. So I guess Leroy is saying that every generation got the recipe passed down but refused to unleash its horror upon the world. But then again if the recipe was so awful, why would it even be preserved for future generations? I think Leroy got a little too ambitious here, when a less convoluted put down of Loretta's cooking would have sufficed. As for their poor dinner guests, there's no question that they are going to die. Leroy clinches the day, 3-1.
- It's nice to see that good old fashioned, Tim Allen-style, jokes about tool loving husbands and their hardware averse wives are still quite alive and well in the world of the Lockhorns. Despite having shown time and time again that he is woefully inept at woodworking and home improvement, Leroy is still drawn to expensive power tool purchases like a moth to a flame; a fact that our smarmy salesman is all too eager to exploit. At least Loretta can take some comfort in the fact that Leroy will more than likely seriously injure himself with that huge saw. It's a push. Leroy breaks a long Sunday drought with a 3-1 win.
Official Count:
Leroy - 30
Loretta - 26
Loretta - 26
Push - 23
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
March 13, 2011: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Loretta does a fine job of both building herself up a little while simultaneously bringing Leroy down with her witty comment. While there are many ways to interpret how Loretta could leave Leroy "breathless", the statement comes a little too close to implying that the Lockhorns may be having sex (or at the very least getting involved in sexual situations). I would not put it past Loretta to, in an ultimate display of bitter spite, actually attempting to screw the physically fragile Leroy to death. That last sentence may have been the most disgusting sentence I have ever written. Loretta gets the point.
- Over the years the depictions of Leroy's idiocy have ranged wildly from comically dimwitted to just plain surreal. Leroy's party planning debacle falls into the latter category. While a traditionally stupid man would probably either fail to get entertainment or hire entertainment of poor quality, Leroy hiring a manic, crazy eyed, balloon artist just goes beyond being a dumb guy and into being straight up delusional. In either situation though, Loretta usually manages to score a point. Loretta goes up 2-0.
- Speaking of Leroy being incongruously idiotic, from his appearance, it would seem that Leroy's game of "Go Fish" occurred in a saloon in the Old West. Personally I just never got the old timey trope of a person losing everything having to wear a suspended barrel. The barrel always seemed more expensive then the everyday clothing it was replacing. Burlap sack I can understand, but the barrel doesn't make much sense to me. Barrel opinions aside, Loretta misses a fine opportunity to mock a compromised Leroy, but with the push, still remains on top 2-0.
- I don't think I can really credit Leroy with a point in this panel. The message is clear that Leroy hates Loretta's mother but it's taken from Loretta's complaint about Leroy's eagerness to end their visits to her house. As for Leroy, instead of looking boldly unapologetic about his antagonistic action, he just gives Loretta the stink-eye like she's suddenly shattering Pullman's idea that Leroy didn't hate his mother-in-law. It's a tough call but I'm going with a push. With a 2-0 record Loretta clinches the win.
- Not to be completely shutout Leroy manages to salvage some dignity and gives himself some momentum going into the week with a last panel burn on Loretta. Here he tells his odd shaped friend that, while he does not have a conscience like most human beings, he does have a nagging wife that won't stop bothering him about his snoring. Loretta's sinister reaction would suggest that he may no longer be snoring, or breathing, the next time he falls asleep with Loretta. Leroy gets the point. Loretta takes the day 2-1.
Official Count:
Leroy - 27
Loretta - 25
Loretta - 25
Push - 20
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
March 6, 2011: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Bowling night hasn't even begun and Leroy is already all over Loretta about her deranged sense of vanity. Loretta should be content with the fact that the bowling alley even had bowling shoes that fit her massive feet, let alone ones that matched her outfit. What I don't understand is why a couple that obviously takes bowling seriously enough to have personal shirts and balls don't have their own pair of bowling shoes. That poor alley employee sure looks tired holding up those enormous shoes. Leroy takes the early lead 1-0.
- It seems the Lockhorns are really set on attending more Sunday church services this year. Perhaps it's all part of some New Year's resolution? Whatever the case may be, even the reverend cannot resist making a crack about the Lockhorns' unholy union. Of course, to be accurate, the Lockhorns' may be enemies but there is nothing remotely close to love in their relationship. A weak attempt by the reverend, but I'm sure he'll have plenty of opportunities throughout the year to work on his material. It's a push, Leroy still leads 1-0.
- Loretta engages in some good old fashioned early morning torture in denying Leroy his precious morning cup of joe. If I were Leroy I would not be in such a rush to get my daily caffeine fix, Loretta's insistence that she won't show him the latest credit card statement until he had his morning "coffee" screams poisoning attempt. On the plus side for Leroy, if he is poisoned to death at least he won't be responsible for whatever massive figure that'll be on that statement. Loretta ties the score 1-1.
- It looks like another edition of "schlubby middle-aged man poker night" is in the books. By Loretta's "sense of humor" I'm assuming Leroy meant "inhibitions regarding physical violence", so it's probably a prudent move for him to head on home. The absence of Loretta already precluded any chance of a point here for Leroy but regardless, his statement can hardly even be considered an insult. Wouldn't most wives be unhappy with the prospect of their husbands out gambling past midnight? Push, still tied at 1-1.
- It's not exactly a masterpiece of wit and sophistication but Loretta's dig at Leroy's fashion violation is enough to get the job done. As a consummate pro and former champion, Loretta knows that sometimes you just have to do the unglamorous, nitty gritty, little things to get the points. Sure, "fashion SWAT team" won't make it into the headlines or top year end lists, but it gets her the point and the win, which are all that really matter in the end. Loretta guts out another close Sunday Showdown 2-1.
Official Count:
Leroy - 24
Loretta - 23
Push - 18
Loretta - 23
Push - 18
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
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