May 15, 2010

I always found Leroy's criticisms about the amount of clutter in Loretta's purse to be one of his weakest attacking points. Loretta is such a wonderfully prolific collection of monstrously ugly personal flaws and gross offensive female caricatures; there is almost always something better to riff on. Leroy's explanation here seems almost reasonable. There really should never be anything close to "reasonable" when dealing with Lockhorn insults. However in the end when it comes to winning those all important points, insulters can't be choosers, and the chronically behind Leroy can use every point he can get.

Official Count:

Leroy - 42
Loretta - 51
Push - 41

May 14, 2010

In the case of Leroy it's quite interesting that someone who lacks the technological aptitude to operate a VCR can somehow manage to reprogram a home vacuuming robot to fetch him beers from the kitchen. Apparently he is a true savant when it comes to activities that facilitate his drinking habits. While situations where Loretta portrays Leroy as a raging alcoholic in front of others usually end with her being awarded a point, I'm inclined to rule for Leroy in this situation. He has managed to ingeniously managed to subvert Loretta by proudly owning and displaying his drinking problem and causing her to be embarrassed in the eyes of her wavy haired friend. Leroy grabs a point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 41
Loretta - 51
Push - 41

May 13, 2010

I understand the established trope that Leroy is cheap and that it leads to humorous scenes of exaggerated frugality on his part, but isn't he being pretty rational in negotiating with the travel agent? "What's on sale" may be an idiosyncratic way of putting it, but don't most people who are planning a vacation with a travel agency want to know if there are any travel deals or discounts available? Is it me or is there not really a joke going on here? I just don't get it. In any case, it looks like there are going to be some intrusive airport security related hijinks on the horizon. Let's all this one a push.

Official Count:

Leroy - 40
Loretta - 51
Push - 41

May 12, 2010

With Loretta worn down, despondent, and depressed after a miserable day, Leroy blows an absolutely perfect opportunity to drive a well placed dagger (metaphorically and possibly physically) right into Loretta's back. Unfortunately for Leroy, Loretta actually manages to beat him to the punch with a self-deprecating fat joke, diffusing any chance for Leroy to capitalize. Is this a daringly clever stratagem by Loretta or just an unintended lucky break? Either way it is an amazing turn of events as Loretta's comment manages to reverse a potential point for Leroy into a harmless push.

Official Count:

Leroy - 40
Loretta - 51
Push - 40

May 11, 2010

For this evening's fare Loretta whips up an especially unappetizing crab cake entrée that no amount of Old Bay Seasoning can fix. Tonight's "meal" is a new low even for Loretta. Her culinary creations in the past may have been as equally disgusting and inedible but at least they looked like some effort was put into their preparation. Loretta at least had to do some activity akin to cooking to turn edible raw ingredients into repulsive piles of foul gray colored mush. Here, she won't even be bothered to take the crab meat out of the shell before ruining it. Regardless, it's still going to be another hungry night for Leroy; at least he gets the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 40
Loretta - 51
Push - 39

May 10, 2010

Leroy's constant channel flipping seems to be a pettier than usual matter for Loretta to set her sights on. On top of that, her "roaming charges" joke is pretty weak. I think Leroy is more disappointed with the groan worthy quality of the line than Loretta's actual criticism of his short television attention span. He may be personally offended by the joke but he is probably more offended by the sub par effort in its execution. Well we are still recovering from a recession, I guess we all have to lower our expectations a little bit during these lean times. Loretta gets the point.

Official Count:

Leroy - 39
Loretta - 51
Push - 39

May 9, 2010: Sunday Showdown!

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Leroy does himself and the rest of the summertime beach going public a huge service by snidely discouraging a once again hopelessly delusional Loretta from even attempting to try on a skimpy black bikini. There's a reason she always wears a full length early 20th century bathing gown down to the beach every year. Also, extra props to Leroy for the clever Loretta-like wordplay, it's a pretty sophisticated move for him. Leroy kicks off another showdown with a point.
• I get the joke, that Loretta doesn't let Leroy get his say in their relationship for extended periods of time, but why the oddly specific listing of time? First off, why would Loretta say the time in exact months? Who keeps referring to months after years have gone by? Couldn't she just say "over five years ago"? Secondly, why would she even keep such a meticulous record of Leroy's belated point? My only guess is that this was all part of some personal five year plan by Loretta to get Leroy on this Sunday. If that's the case then disturbingly well played Loretta. It's even at 1.
• Judging by Leroy's deeply broken expression, it looks like this particular zinger by Loretta cut deeper than usual. Perhaps Leroy finds Loretta's attack on his ability to fix cars, a traditionally masculine activity, as a direct attack on his manhood. "Don't know what you're doing" can be applied in many aspects of Leroy's life. The whole thing is even more deliciously mean when you realize that, in all likelihood, it was Loretta who damaged the car in the first place. Loretta goes up 2-1.
• Oh the unending horrors that are inflicted upon any couple unfortunate enough to agree to a night at the Lockhorns'. After somehow managing to survive a Loretta prepared dinner with all the trimmings, our doomed couple find themselves in the final circle of hell, being forced to sit and endure Loretta's eardrum shattering wailing with piano accompaniment. Leroy's snappy remark can only do so much to help the situation. The bald man's wife has apparently already gone into a catatonic state due to the trauma. Leroy ties it up at 2.
• This scene has every element for Loretta to get the point and win the day...except for the presence of Leroy. As the rule goes, the other Lockhorn has to be present and effected by the insult for the insulting Lockhorn to get the point; and while Leroy, the party goers, and everyone reading will agree that Loretta scored a solid jab at Leroy here, the fact that his very absence is the key to the joke nullifies it. I can't even rationalize that Leroy is off screen and give it a constructive point. I'm going to rule it and the day as a push.

Official Count:

Leroy - 39
Loretta - 50
Push - 39