Official Count:
Leroy - 101
Loretta - 128
Push - 74
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
October 27, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- The arraignment of the room in this panel is a bit confusing to me. One would assume that Loretta would set up her vanity table up against a wall, but Leroy seems to be standing behind the table, indicating that may have set it up in the middle of the room. Of course the bigger issue here is their room is just a single colored void. Speaking of colors, Leroy puts down a fine burn about Loretta's frequent dye jobs. Leroy has to recognize how choice a target Loretta's vanity is. Leroy gets the point and takes a 1-0 lead.
- While Loretta might be down on the entertainment value of the Lockhorns, as fans we all know how much joy it is to catch these daily glimpses into their miserable, loveless existence. I'm sure the NSA or whatever other intelligence arm of the government is enjoying their hi jinks just as well. I'm sure it's a welcome change from all those other boring functioning married couples with their lack of fighting. It's a push. Leroy still leads 1-0.
- If you stop and think about it, Leroy has the perfect body for a clown. All the proportions are ideal from the over sized feet, to the roly poly mid section, to the bulbous nose, and warp around hair. On top of all that, there's his natural buffoonish behavior and cartoonish mannerisms. It's the role he was totally born to play. It'd probably garner more respect than his current job. I'm going to rule this a push. Leroy continues to lead 1-0.
- It's no surprise the Lockhorns would be into "Mad Men", they are practically stuck in the same era as the show. The whole show must feel so comforting and familiar to the Lockhorns who are always being antagonized by modern society. I wonder if anyone on the show was ever seen reading a vintage 60's edition of "The Lockhorns"? Also say what you want about Leroy, he may be a poor husband but at least he doesn't cheat on Loretta; so he's got that going to for him. Still, Loretta gets the insult in and earns the point. The score is tied 1-1.
- I don't know about you but it looks more like the carny is shooting out a massive stream of projectile vomit as opposed to breathing fire. Leroy's comment about Loretta's chili could also apply if this were the case. Knowing Loretta's infamous culinary abilities (or lack there of) a spoonful of her leftover chili could lead to any number of matter coming out of the unfortunate taster. Leroy gets the point and pulls off a rare final panel victory to take the Sunday 2-1.
Official Count:
Leroy - 100
Loretta - 127
Push - 73
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 11
Loretta - 18
Push - 14
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
October 20, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Does Anthony Bourdain have a reputation for eating exotic foods? I never actually saw any of his shows. Sticking with the basic cable crowd Leroy could have also referenced Bear Grylls. Regardless, we all get the point, Loretta's cooking is straight up disgusting. Her specialty seems to be dull green piles of ambiguous matter. Even if I wanted to replicate her dishes, I wouldn't know where to begin. So I guess that's some kind of skill, right? Leroy wins the point and leads 1-0.
- Sports super fan Leroy once again comes out to watch sports on TV dressed in a baffling collection of random gear. He looks to be wearing a baseball cap with a football jersey (possibly the Miami Dolphins?) and is holding a purple foam finger supporting who knows what. To add to the confusion, he has decided to wear dress shoes and socks for maximum stay at home comfort. It would be sort of hilarious if Leroy was actually dressed like this for church and was setting the DVR before leaving. Loretta scores a point and the day is tied 1-1.
- I have to believe that Leroy is in jail for some actual legitimate crime. My money's on public drunkenness or possibly disorderly conduct (it could even be both). In Leroy's defense, he seems to be rocking (at least on the bottom half) Robin Thicke's famous stripped suit from this year's MTV VMAs; a bold and contemporary fashion choice. This visit by Loretta may not be her first or her last. If the wall markings are accurate, Leroy has been left in jail for 13 days. At least he gets 3 square meals a day. Loretta takes the point and a 2-1 lead.
- Oh look the Lockhorns are having an old fashioned argument with a modern twist! That's always good for a laugh! Though the Lockhorns have been trying their best to keep up with contemporary advances like cellphones and the internet, Loretta's confusion over streaming video show that it is still a work in progress. The one potential scenario where Loretta doesn't sound foolish would be if she left a streaming movie running on her phone at home and she was in danger of going over their data plan. I guess that's a possibility? Leroy gets the point and ties everything up 2-2 going into the final panel.
- As she has done time and time again, Loretta manages to come through in the last panel to claim another Sunday victory. This time Loretta strikes at one of the Lockhorns' near daily cocktail parties, calling out Leroy's age and spotty memory. I feel like age based insults are odd since the Lockhorns are of similar ages, so one doesn't have that much of an upper hand over the other. Here, I suppose the dig could be directed more towards Leroy's failing memory. She could have also just straight up called him a liar too. Loretta earns the point and a 3-2 Sunday Showdown victory.
Official Count:
Leroy - 98
Loretta - 125
Push - 70
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 10
Loretta - 18
Push - 14
Saturday, October 19, 2013
October 19, 2013
Author's Note: Actually, in terms of personal style, Martin Van Buren was known as a fancy dressing dandy. I suppose Loretta is comparing the quality of the room to the quality of his administration which was pretty mediocre.
Official Count:
Leroy - 98
Loretta - 124
Push - 70
Friday, October 18, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
October 16, 2013
Service Outage
*Author's Note: I thought about it, but Loretta just seems to be taking a message for Leroy here, albeit in a jokey manner.
Official Count:
Leroy - 96
Loretta - 123
Push - 70
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
October 15, 2013
*Author's Note: It may just be a coincidence but I found an attorney named Theodore D. Sklar who works at a firm in Riverhead, way out at the end of Suffolk County. He even kind of looks the same.
Official Count:
Leroy - 96
Loretta - 123
Push - 69
Monday, October 14, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
October 13, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Even perpetually dated Leroy seems to be down with the HBO hit series "Game of Thrones", though historically the Lockhorns seemed relatively up to date when it comes to television (I can see them being big CBS viewers). I would be interested to see any of these alleged relatives of Loretta. All we've ever seen is her ancient mother. I am morbidly curious to see what kind of bitter fruit hangs from the old family tree. I don't even know what her maiden name is. For calling out Leroy's lack of knowledge (or really interest) Loretta gets the point and takes a 1-0 lead.
- This would have been a sick burn on Loretta if she happened to be around, maybe just browsing within a earshot of Leroy. Unfortunately there is no point to be given out for solo efforts. I can only assume that Leroy was being punished or coerced into buying Loretta clothing in the first place. There is no chance he would have done it out of affection. His plan may have been to get her the wrong size and hope that she accompanied him to the store (we all know Loretta can't avoid shopping) so he could publicly insult her. A good effort, but it fell just short. It's a push. Loretta leads 1-0.
- It's always entertaining watching Leroy demonstrate how absurdly out of shape he is. Just when you thought you saw his most ridiculous display of Mr. Burns-esque frailty, Leroy seems to come up with an even feebler effort. Today, the simple act of putting on his workout sneakers has brought him to the brink of exhaustion. Perhaps he was trying to put them on while standing up? Loretta, always sensitive to whenever Leroy looks like a buffoon, swoops right in and earns the point with her commentary. Loretta extends her lead to 2-0.
- Leroy's question shows a real understanding as to why the Lockhorns should be divorced; which brings me back to my main issue with the Lockhorns: why don't they get divorced? Leroy always argues against starting marriages but I hope he is aware that one can terminate a married; you're not forever linked against your will. Maybe he has some deep religious or moral convictions that keep him trapped? It never really made much sense. Leroy finally gets himself a point. Loretta still leads 2-1.
- I don't know if I've ever seen a caption-less Lockhorn panel before! It's a frightening and exciting new development. The shelf bleeding out of the panel borders is a novel touch as well. All in all, it's possibly the most avant-garde panel I've ever come across. As for the panel's substance Leroy manages to pull off a clever ruse on Loretta (at least temporarily) with the classic unconnected headphone trick; though he could have also tuned out Loretta by listening to something. I guess Leroy prefers silence overall. Leroy scores a point and rallies himself back to force a 2-2 push.
Official Count:
Leroy - 96
Loretta - 123
Push - 67
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 10
Loretta - 17
Push - 14
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Monday, October 7, 2013
Sunday, October 6, 2013
October 6, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- First off, what is up with Loretta's friend's left hand? That's a bit freaky. Unfortunately for Loretta, Leroy's physical absence in the this scene is the only thing preventing her from earning a point for this text book insult. This is vintage Loretta, complete with her trademark pause followed by a punchline. She also shows off her unpredictability by mocking Leroy's cheapness when the usual inclination here would be to go for a fat joke. It's a shame that a solid performance like this is wasted. It's a push, the score is 0-0.
- Do you wonder if part of the reason the Lockhorns are so cranky is they never seem to get a good night's sleep? You could almost count this as a double burn by Loretta. Sure she's insulting Leroy about his excessive snoring, but the reference to the leaky faucet could also be construed as a knock on his ever dubious home repair skills. Maybe one day I'll dole out a two pointer for a truly exceptional effort, but for now though it's still one point per scene. Loretta gets the point and takes a 1-0 lead.
- Perhaps there is a method to Leroy's fashion madness. If Leroy is to be believed here, Leroy's frequent wild outfits are not just the symptoms of a terminally fashion backward individual but a calculated effort to antagonize Loretta via wardrobe. If that is the case, Leroy should consider adjusting his strategy, often his plan backfires with Loretta scoring an easy burn on him. No presence of Loretta means this is a push. Loretta still leads 1-0.
- I admit I had to take a second to wrap my head around Leroy's " déjà vu amnesia" diagnosis. I find it oddly interesting, the feeling that you've forgotten something before (but then if you forgot it then how do you remember you forgot it...I dunno, best not to think too deeply about it). Leroy can get quite creative with his bullshit excuses. Though he may get a full bag of trash dumped on top of him, for now Leroy still earns himself a point. The day is tied at 1-1.
- The term "second childhood" turned out to be a real expression. Apparently it's the time when an old person, whose mind is starting to fail, begins to behave like a child again; what a terrible thing to joke about. I thought the phrase had something to do with being in a midlife crisis. Maybe this kind of dark gallows humor is how the Lockhorns cope with their advancing years and fears of senility. Couldn't she have just called him a clown or something? Loretta comes through in the final panel and comes away with a close 2-1 victory.
Official Count:
Leroy - 93
Loretta - 120
Push - 66
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 10
Loretta - 17
Push - 13
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Friday, October 4, 2013
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
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