*Author's Note: Boy, Leroy's getting desperate. Though I have to admit, Blondie is still a fox.
Official Count:
Leroy - 90
Loretta - 117
Push - 66
Monday, September 30, 2013
Sunday, September 29, 2013
September 29, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- For a household that's always teetering on the verge of complete financial ruin, the Lockhorns sure get some expensive looking seats to the opera. I guess excessive spending like this by Loretta is one of the reasons the Lockhorns are on the verge of complete financial ruin. Of course, Leroy just wants to go home and watch football. As bored and as broke as he may be right now, Leroy can still salvage a point with just his complaining. Leroy takes a 1-0 lead.
- I thought about giving Loretta the points here, but it's really more of commentary on all the negative news going on in the world. Loretta is actually being helpful to Leroy in this panel since the obituaries really would be a dependable source of sunshine for him. He can read over all the noted deaths and daydream about one day escaping the relentless hell that is his life and leaving Loretta a penniless widow. A man can dream. It's a push as Leroy still hold the 1-0 advantage.
- The placement of this panel and the previous panel gives a sense of continuity between the two. Leroy's just lounging on this sofa chair, enjoying the Sunday obituaries when news of Loretta's mom's planned arrival thoroughly demolishes him and leaves him a despondent weeping mess. Careful observation of Loretta's outfit indicates however that there was a clothing change between the two panels. Loretta scores a point and ties the day 1-1.
- Usually Loretta is the one who comes away with a point whenever Leroy gets lost while driving. Leroy however manages to come out on top here with a sort of preemptive response to Loretta's usual badgering. Sometimes taking ownership of your vulnerabilities can lead you to a victory. I cannot begin to imagine the nuclear levels of bitterness and animosity that exists within the car right now. Still, Leroy earns the point and retakes the lead 2-1.
- As a long time Jeopardy fan, a question that would require the contestant to respond with all all seven deadly sins seems incongruous to the show. The interesting thing I find about this panel is that Loretta nails Leroy with an insult in reference to Jeopardy that isn't about his lack of intellect. In fact Loretta praises Leroy as knowledgeable in a particular field. She flips the usual set up and still scores a point. Constant innovation, it's just another reason why Loretta has been so successful so far. The final point by Loretta ties the showdown up at 2-2 and ends the day on a push.
Official Count:
Leroy - 89
Loretta - 117
Push - 66
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 10
Loretta - 16
Push - 13
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
September 27, 2013
*Author's Note: Say what you want about the Lockhorns, but they are all about supporting local businesses...much to their detriment.
Official Count:
Leroy - 89
Loretta - 116
Push - 65
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
September 23, 2013
*Author's Note: I assume that roll of quarters was given to Loretta within Leroy's right fist.
Official Count:
Leroy - 87
Loretta - 115
Push - 64
Sunday, September 22, 2013
September 22, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- I was quite amused by the ridiculous reaction garnered by Loretta from the shoe store staff. The low bow from the one salesman would have been enough but the "we're not worthy" worshiping by the other two employees really put it over the top. I wonder if this is the reaction Loretta gets in all her favorite stores. As for this current store they should find a more creative name. They seem to just be called "Women's Shoes". Perhaps with a bit more flash, they wouldn't be so dependent on Loretta's generous business. Seeing as how Loretta is going to spend Leroy into oblivion, she deserves the point. Loretta leads 1-0.
- Why the Lockhorns decided to reference New York City mayor Mike Bloomberg, I'm not sure. Nearly all the Lockhorns panels occur at their home or some random location in Long Island. I must assume that this "Arthur's" is in New York City or else Mayor Bloomberg wouldn't have any jurisdiction in the matter. I guess Loretta's is playing off of the Mayor's reputation for attempting to turn New York City into a sort of nanny state when it comes to public wellness issues. There were so many other better ways Loretta could have gone in mocking Leroy's excessive alcohol consumption. In the end though it still counts as a point. Loretta leads 2-0.
- Leroy gets down to basics in today's center panel. This is the response he should be using every time Loretta makes a big stink about his laziness. It's short, simple, and directly cuts to the heart of the matter. Additionally it seems to really get Loretta angry. Leroy should keep one of his eyes trained towards Loretta just in case she throws something at him or comes at him with a blunt object. For the moment though Leroy has thoroughly earned his point. Loretta still leads 2-1.
- There isn't much of a reason for Loretta to pay the extra fee to disable the wifi. Sure it may spitefully prevent Leroy from enjoying the use of his gigantic tablet computer but that also might force the Lockhorns to talk to each other. Additionally Loretta is a big user of the internet as well. The rewards are hardly worth the sacrifices. Also, doesn't their luggage look unusually small? What could they be carrying? It's a push, Loretta still leads 2-1.
- It's a shame we can't get a better look at the photo of Leroy's family, it would be fascinating to see what Leroy's parents or his other relatives look like. If Loretta's assessment is accurate I imagine a whole clan of dumpy balding, badly dressed, idiots. I hope that one of these days the Lockhorns will take a trip out to a Lockhorn family reunion. The same goes for Loretta's side of the family, we haven't seen anyone outside of her witch-like mother. Since Leroy is absent I have to rule this panel a push, which means Loretta edges out Leroy to win the day 2-1.
Official Count:
Leroy - 87
Loretta - 115
Push - 63
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 10
Loretta - 16
Push - 12
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
September 20, 2013
*Author's Note: We may have found someone actually older and more trapped in the 19th century than Loretta's mother.
Official Count:
Leroy - 86
Loretta - 114
Push - 63
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Monday, September 16, 2013
Sunday, September 15, 2013
September 15, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- I don't know why but Loretta's insult here amused me far more than it should have. It's not all that clever and it really doesn't have anything to do with the scene they're in, but something about the randomness of it won me over. Given the location, one would assume that Loretta would make some sort of jab about Leroy's lack of sophistication; but she went right to the fat joke. I can't blame Loretta, Leroy is looking mighty flabby in this scene. Loretta scores the first point and leads 1-0.
- Wow, I certainly did not expect the Lockhorns to have any idea what bitcoins were let alone complain about their personal bitcoin finances. I consider myself a fairly tech savvy individual and I only have a vague idea how they work. The Lockhorns may be on some personal mission to become heavily in debt in every type of currency available. Lockhorn debt has now entered the 21st century. It's a push. Loretta still leads 1-0.
- This isn't an altogether ridiculous claim by Leroy. It is somewhat absurd how large and varied the bottled water market has become. One generation ago, the idea of charging for bottled water was itself viewed as crazy. Perhaps if you look back in the archives you might find an old Lockhorns panel from the mid 70s where Leroy comments about how nuts it is that water is getting bottled like beer. Leroy's compliant about varieties of water would appear to be a moot point since he only drinks beer anyway. It's a cranky push as Loretta continues to lead 1-0.
- It's now firmly established that the Lockhorns are fans of the "The Walking Dead", although this "Walking Dead" may not be the popular AMC series. Judging by the low rent title screen the Lockhorns may be watching some knock off show, perhaps on local public access channel. Leroy's line about women's brains comes off as extra sexist even by Leroy standards. I prefer when he just implied that Loretta looked like a zombie. Still, the insult gets the job done as Leroy nabs a point and ties the day up at 1-1.
- To Leroy's credit, I imagine a lemon pie by Loretta would likely smell like lemon scented furniture polish (and that's a best case scenario). I also can't rule out the possibility that Loretta is actually cooking a bottle of furniture polish in the oven for dinner. Perhaps Leroy would welcome the sweet release from the pain of his life that would accompany a dinner of furniture polish. He wouldn't be the first depressed Long Island individual to attempt death by Pledge. Loretta earns the point and edges out a tight 2-1 victory.
Official Count:
Leroy - 86
Loretta - 111
Push - 61
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 10
Loretta - 15
Push - 12
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Friday, September 13, 2013
September 13, 2013
*Author's note: I couldn't tell if Leroy was referring to himself, Loretta, or both so I went with the compromise option.
Official Count:
Leroy - 85
Loretta - 110
Push - 61
Thursday, September 12, 2013
September 12, 2013
Hey It Could Happen
*Author's Note: Today's box is the biggest one yet. They are slowly taking over!
Official Count:
Leroy - 85
Loretta - 110
Push - 60
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Monday, September 9, 2013
Sunday, September 8, 2013
September 8, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Leave it to Leroy to find the most inappropriate charity car wash on Long Island and then force Loretta to endure multiple washes in a day. This is the equivalent of Loretta dragging Leroy to all those ballets and operas. This is the most risque panel Lockhorn panel I can recall. The young sorority sister working the hood is particularly aggressive. It reminds me of "Put 'Em On The Glass", Sir Mix-A-Lot's less successful follow up to "Baby Got Back". Leroy gets the first point of the day and takes a 1-0 lead.
- Perhaps Leroy is looking out at his neighbor's home and wondering what it's like to live in an actual home filled with personal items and furniture rather than a single chair in an empty purple void. Those familiar with Leroy's life knows he has much to be envious of others about. As Leroy sits and ponders his empty home and empty life, leave it to good old Loretta to come along and push the harsh reality of yard work on him. Loretta scores the point and ties things up 1-1.
- I wonder if in the long run, using a bulk supply of paper plates is cheaper than a new dishwasher plus cost of utilities. It's certainly not the eco-friendly option. Also since when did Loretta ever need permission from Leroy to make a major purchase? She spends enough to buy multiple dishwashers during one of her routine shopping sprees at the mall. Even if Leroy were in the room, I don't know if I would have given the points to Loretta. It seems like Leroy's "paper plates" comments were more of an assured diss on Loretta. With his absence though it's a moot point. The panel is a push and the score is still 1-1.
- Look at how uniformly miserable everyone at the table are; it's like everyone is at a wake for a loved one. I am amused at how oblivious Loretta is to the crowd reaction. Perhaps Leroy's will timed barb will help her face sober reality. Going by the familiar square painting on the wall, this may be the Lockhorns' home which means that Loretta probably cooked dinner. If I were one the guests I would be more concerned about potential food poisoning. Leroy scores a point and leads Loretta 2-1.
- The ever insecure Leroy is challenged once again by Loretta at the old fishing hole. Knowing Leroy and his stubbornness he will likely continue to fish at that spot until he finally catches a fish bigger than Loretta or dies due to exposure. Over the years it has been shown that Loretta is often superior to Leroy in most sports. It seems driving may be Leroy's only skill he has over Loretta. Here, Loretta uses her sporting edge to earn herself a point in the final panel to force the Sunday into a 2-2 push.
Official Count:
Leroy - 83
Loretta - 108
Push - 60
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 10
Loretta - 14
Push - 12
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Friday, September 6, 2013
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Monday, September 2, 2013
Sunday, September 1, 2013
September 1, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Loretta is probably joking about the eccentric on the street being Leroy's financial adviser, but then again in the world of "The Lockhorns" almost any insane scenario is possible. The street prophet would make a terrible financial adviser on two levels. On one level, his prediction of financial Armageddon is too overly negative to be useful advice and on another level he looks like he just escaped from a mental institution. If he was flawed in only one of these levels he would be just a poor adviser; his combination of both insanity and extreme pessimism just makes him the absolute worst. Loretta gets the point and leads 1-0.
- Leroy should look a lot happier that Loretta turned the tables on a telemarketer, if there's anything the Lockhorns are in agreement on is their mutual dislike of phone solicitors. Maybe he is disappointed because he might have to meet the insurance salesman in person at the church picnic. Now that I think about it, this might be a shrewd move by the salesman, a church picnic would appear to be a great opportunity for face to face sales. I would have to call this a push. Loretta still leads 1-0.
- Nepotism is an awfully big word for Leroy to know, but hey it looks like he surprised us all for a point. These sort of victories must be the sweetest for Leroy. It's nothing but wins all around. He get to be lazy, Loretta does all the work, and he earns himself a point. While insults are the dinner table may be his most frequent source of points, it's often a sort of Pyrrhic victory since he usually has to eat the disgusting food he is mocking. A sweet point for Leroy and the day is tied 1-1.
- As it turns out Loretta's sexist stereotype of a woman being fiercely defensive about her real age won out against her sexist stereotype of a woman being helpless against a mugger. I have doubts about just how experienced this thief was at his trade, considering he is dressed like the Hamburgler. Apparently he learned how to be a thief from old time cartoons and comic strips. The poor guy doesn't even have a pair of shoes to wear. I'm tempted to give Leroy the point here for pointing out Loretta's age insecurities but then again Loretta comes off as a real bad ass here, so let's compromise with a push. The score remains tied 1-1 going into the final panel.
- This is the kind of wordplay I would expect from Loretta. It's always a pleasant surprise when Leroy pulls of an unexpected insult. If Leroy already expected his marriage to Loretta to be miserable then why did he get married in the first place? I can believe that things may have turned sour shortly after their nuptials but it makes little sense whenever the Lockhorns joke about being unhappy since they first met. Did they not have a choice in the matter? Was it some kind of arranged marriage? I guess I'll just have to wait until a "Lockhorns: The Early Years" spinoff is introduced. Leroy earns the point and pulls out the 2-1 Sunday victory.
Official Count:
Leroy - 82
Loretta - 105
Push - 57
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 10
Loretta - 14
Push - 11
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