Official Count:
Leroy - 12
Loretta - 16
Push - 3
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
January 27, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Loretta comes up with a pretty awkward and frankly lame diss in this first panel. She does a lot of stretching to mock Leroy's lack of income. Her joke relies on replacing the word "incompatible" in the sentence with the word "income" but that ends up making her say that Leroy and she are not income; which makes no sense. Additionally, it applies to both Lockhorns rather than just singling out Leroy. It's only by Leroy's unhappy reaction and Loretta's gleeful expression that I can assume she's going after Leroy. It is just an overly aggressive effort by Loretta to land a point; which I still have to begrudgingly award despite the low quality product. Loretta leads 1-0.
- Leroy's outfit sort of reminds me of the late Robert Pastorelli's painter character from "Murphy Brown". For someone whose home painting style is supposedly like the chaotic drip art style of Jackson Pollack, Leroy's outfit seems spotless. I understand Loretta's emphasis on chromatic uniformity for the den, what would the Lockhorns' home be without its rooms completely painted from ceiling to floor in one solid color? The Lockhorns do what they do best when they are working in a monochromatic void. Loretta tallies up another point and leads 2-0.
- Now this is a classic Lockhorn room, nothing but a single color dominating the entire landscape. It looks like they're in front of some green screen for their scene. Whatever news Leroy had to tell Loretta must have been absolutely devastating. This may be the saddest I have ever seen Loretta. She looks legitimately broken up as if her mom died or something. Leroy clearly had no intention of sparing Loretta the sad news by telling it to her in her sleep, he just wanted to break it out in the big marquee third panel for everyone to see. Leroy gets the point. Loretta still leads 2-1.
- I wouldn't say a high end television is a gender specific thing. A reckless spender and all around couch potato like Loretta should be in favor of a new flat screen television. Since when did she become this snooty, anti-television advocate? She'll be parked in front of that baby watching some basic cable trash just like Leroy soon enough. Once again I suppose it all comes back to Loretta's overarching desire to prevent Leroy from ever doing any activity that makes him happy; she is so dedicated that she would spitefully deny herself the pleasures of the TV as well. That sort of dedication earns Loretta the point and allows her to clinch victory by taking a 3-1 lead with one panel to go.
- Those poorly constructed bookshelves must be for all the books Loretta reads in lieu of watching that idiot box in the living room. It looks like with the day won, Loretta is content to just relax and enjoy a victory pizza with a gal pal at some aggressively Italian pizza place. I'm just glad that she didn't make any insults about Leroy with regard to the phallic nature of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The lack of Leroy turns this panel into a push, but it doesn't mean anything to Loretta who cruises to another Sunday victory 3-1.
Official Count:
Leroy - 11
Loretta - 14
Push - 2
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 1
Loretta - 3
Push - 0
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
January 20, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- I enjoyed Loretta's mean little dig at Leroy's weight gain (or perhaps a recent misguided affinity towards buying overly slim fitting shirts?). It almost made up for being shown the distressing sight of Loretta in her intimates. Loretta may also be having problems fitting into her clothes as well. It must be quite difficult for the Lockhorns to find clothes that perfectly match their freakish proportions. We all know that shoes are an all together different nightmare. If the Lockhorns didn't despise each other so much, their would likely be sympathetic to each other's wardrobe issues. Loretta gets the point and takes the 1-0 lead.
- There is an admirable simple elegance to Leroy's concluding statement to his argument. Since neither Lockhorn will ever genuinely acknowledge that the other is right, getting the last word in and abandoning the conflict like this is about as close as one Lockhorn can get to winning an argument. There are some broad parallels to the Cold War doctrine of Mutual Assured Destruction (MAD), it is preferable not to attempt total victory by engaging in full scale combat. Interestingly enough, the Lockhorns' simmering conflict of a marriage has long outlasted the actual Cold War. Leroy scores a point and ties things up 1-1.
- Leave it to the Lockhorns to be patrons of one of the few remaining video rental stores in Nassau County. I find it a little surprising that they've moved on up to DVDs (I suppose they could possibly be Blu-ray discs as well, but come on this is "The Lockhorns"). Loretta brought this insult upon herself for even thinking that Leroy would give anything but a negative response to her suggestion of a romantic comedy. She might as well have asked Leroy if he wanted to wear a dress she picked out. Leroy earns the point and pulls ahead 2-1.
- Loretta has made a lot of ridiculous and dangerous assumptions about driving laws over the years but I am sort of in the boat with her on this one. While it is unambiguously illegal to pass a red light, I think most of us will agree that there is some leeway given for those passing right as the red comes on. Of course knowing Loretta, her idea of grace period is probably a lot more generous. Also, you don't actually go out and explain to the cop that there is a grace period. It's a push.
- Leroy, in quite un-Leroy-like fashion, comes through on the last panel to seal the deal. Once again some misguided couple has invited to Lockhorns to their wedding to inject their toxic views on marriage into the ceremony. I'm sure Leroy had some wise words of advice for the groom that Loretta could have made comments about had she gotten the timing right. Leroy takes the final point and wins the Sunday in rare dominating fashion 3-1.
Official Count:
Leroy - 9
Loretta - 11
Push - 0
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 1
Loretta - 2
Push - 0
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
January 16, 2013
*Author's Note: I believe Loretta. Have you seen her feet? I'm surprised they even sell shoes in her monstrous size.
Official Count:
Leroy - 7
Loretta - 9
Push - 0
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Sunday, January 13, 2013
January 13, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Ironically, a "stein is half empty" guy is more likely to be an optimistic "glass is half full" guy. Leroy certainly looks to be in high spirits (oh hey these drinking double entendres write themselves). In all my experiences, I have never seen anyone do the drunk lampshade thing at a party; maybe I just haven't been going to the right parties? Given Leroy's long history of commandeering lampshades, I would expect veteran friends of the Lockhorns to remove all of them from the house before throwing a party. Loretta gets the point and leads 1-0.
- Although he doesn't end up scoring a point, Leroy deserves some kudos for turning his usual henpecked situation with Loretta into an excuse to blow off an unwanted salesman. He might as well make something slightly positive out of an overwhelmingly negative situation (what can you say, he's a "stein is half empty" sort of guy). Although maybe Leroy should have purchased what the solicitor was selling as a spiteful way to get back at Loretta. In the end it's a push. Loretta leads 1-0.
- Was there such a shortage of shopping carts that Loretta was forced to take one of those half sized kids carts? It looks like it can barely hold a box of cereal. Speaking of cereal, while I don't often see eye to eye with Leroy's frugal rantings, I have to say I agree that name brand cereals are way overpriced. Maybe I'm just not that big a connoisseur of cereals but I can't tell the different between the cheaper generic Honey Nut Cheerios and the real stuff. Just look below for the Malt-O-Meal bags, Leroy. It's another push as Loretta clings to her 1-0 advantage.
- Although the Lockhorns are crying poverty in the cereal aisle, they seem to have an impressive collection of expensive looking audio/visual devices. Of course the Lockhorns wouldn't be the Lockhorns without completely twisted household spending priorities. Then again, some of those electronic devices may be their VHS and home 8 Track players so it may not be the ostentatious set up we initially imagined. It still doesn't explain why they would average nearly 4 remotes per electronic device. I guess they never threw away their old remotes? The streak of pushes continues to a third panel. Could Loretta end up winning 1-0?
- It would be more accurate to say Leroy prefers fast food restaurants because he doesn't have to tip. Regardless of whether you're eating in or using the drive-thru, there's no tipping involved in a fast food chain (in this case, the Lockhorns have gone to some weird east coast Jack in the Box knockoff). Leroy may also prefer the drive-thru because he is lazy and lives an unhealthy lifestyle with poor eating habits. Loretta might have been better off going in that direction. Regardless, Loretta gets the point and takes a low scoring shutout victory.
Official Count:
Leroy - 5
Loretta - 8
Push - 0
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 0
Loretta - 2
Push - 0
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
January 11, 2013
*Author's Note: In classic form, the Lockhorns purchase a "state-of-the-art" point and shoot digital camera (just look at how compact and modern it is!) just as they are becoming all but obsolete. Also, why is Loretta complaining about a wasting a shot? It's a digital camera, just re-shoot.
Official Count:
Leroy - 4
Loretta - 7
Push - 0
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
January 7, 2013
*Author's Note: It may appear that Loretta has finally murdered Leroy. I guess we'll have to wait until tomorrow to be sure.
Official Count:
Leroy - 3
Loretta - 4
Push - 0
Sunday, January 6, 2013
January 6, 2013: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- There are many things that aren't right with this picture.There's the unusually flat design of the treadmill. There's the wholly unnatural position of Leroy's feet, which may indicate some sort of severe ankle injury. Perhaps he doesn't notice the pain because he is too intoxicated from drinking aftershave straight from the bottle. However, I have to say that Leroy looks a tad bit slimmer here than usual. So not only is he scoring a point by disgusting Loretta, he's also shedding some pounds. Maybe he is on to something with this new unorthodox exercise regimen. Leroy get the point and takes a 1-0 lead.
- Loretta knows full well what Leroy means when he tells her she always tries to get in the last word. Loretta lives to always get in the last word with Leroy, it is one of her main life goals. She just wanted an excuse to abruptly wake Leroy up in the middle of the night; although had she not been able to come up with an excuse she probably would have just woken him up just for the sake of antagonizing him. Loretta earns the point and ties things up 1-1.
- This is by far the Lockhorns' most conspicuous shout out to a local business yet; prominently featuring the unique front sign of "Book Revue" in Huntington. The book store had come up as a location in the past but never as front and center as today. Hopefully all this Lockhorn exposure won't end up running Long Island's largest independent bookstore out of business. It has already shown that the local police in Huntington are unreasonably strict when it comes to loitering; although I'm sure Leroy was doing his part to spitefully rack up the citations while waiting for Loretta. Leroy gets a point and pulls ahead 2-1.
- Much of Loretta's driving problems may stem from her woefully inadequate knowledge of the basics of operating an automobile. How did she even pass the test to get a license in the first place? Does she really not know the purpose of a car's turn signal? What does she actually think it's for? Reminding yourself where you plan on turning? Why does Leroy ever let Loretta drive? Maybe he's too drunk to take the wheel himself (although I think he may still be safer driving). Loretta gets the point and ties the game up 2-2.
- Since when did the Lockhorns even have 1 let alone 3,789 "friends" on Facebook. It seems like a commentary on the devaluation of having a "friend" on Facebook when even a couple as unlikable as the Lockhorns can somehow get nearly 4,000 such friends. Also why are the Lockhorns registered together as one person? I have never seen that happen. Maybe the Lockhorns have capitalized on all the popularity gained from this blog and have formed their own fan page. Either way it certainly took a hit due to something Leroy posted. Loretta scores the point and edges out Leroy to take the first Showdown of the year, 3-2.
Official Count:
Leroy - 3
Loretta - 3
Push - 0
Sunday Showdown Count:
Leroy - 0
Loretta - 1
Push - 0
*Author's note: For 2013 I wanted to start a separate running tally of who won more Sunday Showdowns overall It's just little competition for an additional superlative at the end of the year. Loretta will probably win this too.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
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