Official Count:
Leroy - 120
Loretta - 133
Push - 82
Friday, November 30, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
November 29, 2012
Author's Note: You know it's bad when Leroy is lecturing you on tipping.
Official Count:
Leroy - 120
Loretta - 132
Push - 82
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
November 26, 2012
*Author's note: This is either the home of the moving neighbors from yesterday or a sign that the housing market has recovered enough for more of the Lockhorns' neighbors to finally move away.
Official Count:
Leroy - 119
Loretta - 131
Push - 81
Sunday, November 25, 2012
November 25, 2012: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- I suspect Loretta was going for an insult about Leroy's meager income but she just doesn't quite make her point in the panel. Had Loretta prefaced her comment with a line about how Leroy and Loretta earn essentially the same amount, then it would be insulting to Leroy to have his income compared to finding coins in the sofa. The way Loretta frames it actually makes her seem sort of lazy in comparison to Leroy; he's toiling at work all day and she's hanging around the couch most of the time. It's just a sloppy effort overall and we end up with a push.
- Given the overwhelming popularity of the NFL in America, Leroy's statement about the general watchability of any professional football game should ring true with many people. This is nowhere near some of the exaggerated displays of Tim Allen-style overly broad suburban male behavior by Leroy that torments Loretta to no end. Based on the crudely rendered player on the screen Leroy may be watching an Eagles game, their performance this year may actually prove to be the exception to the universal football enjoyment rule. Leroy gets the first point and takes a 1-0 lead.
- If Loretta doesn't want Leroy hogging up all the living room television time with his prolific football viewing, perhaps she should allow him to set up his own "man cave". I think Loretta's rejection of Leroy's "man cave" idea and apparent approval of his ridiculous "man tree house" scheme is based on her, probably correct, assumption that Leroy will find some way to horribly injure himself while attempting construction. She's probably already brainstorming new material to use at the hospital. In the present, however, it's a push. Leroy still leads 1-0.
- We are supposed to assume that Leroy is such an insufferable tightwad that he would be considering asking for the return of a housewarming gift from a moving neighbor many years after giving it to them. I like to think that the Lockhorns' neighbors actually decided to immediately move again after meeting the Lockhorns at their housewarming party. In that case, Leroy would have a legitimate claim in asking for his housewarming gift back. Still without further evidence, I'll go with the more conventional reading of Leroy being a miserable skinflint. Loretta scores a point and ties everything up 1-1 entering the final panel.
- Seeing the piercing daggers of flaming rage addressed at Leroy from Loretta and her mother, our burly highway trooper may just consider giving poor Leroy a break. If anything he should be commending Leroy for not letting Loretta drive the car thus preventing a whole mess of highway casualties. I am sure all law enforcement officials in the county have Loretta's picture on file. Leroy earns the point and pulls off an unlikely final panel victory in a hotly contested Sunday Showdown, 2-1.
Official Count:
Leroy - 119
Loretta - 130
Push - 81
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Friday, November 23, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
November 20, 2012
*Author's Note: Under current U.S. copyright laws that would mean their song most likely would have been published pre-1923 at the latest.
Official Count:
Leroy - 115
Loretta - 130
Push - 80
Monday, November 19, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
November 18, 2012: Sunday Showdown!
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Art, like every other aspect of the Lockhorns' relationship, is a hotly debated topic between Leroy and Loretta. It seems that Leroy does not share Loretta's love of modern abstract paintings. As he has shown in the past, Leroy prefers extreme kitsch (or possibly just paintings of sad clowns). It must be difficult for the Lockhorns to find places to hang their art, given that half the rooms in their house are just freaky monochromatic empty voids. Speaking of freaky, Loretta's feet look particularly monstrous in this panel, even the panel itself is having trouble containing them. Leroy takes the first point and goes up 1-0.
- Sure Leroy looks mockable in his vintage Sonny Crockett ensemble, complete with trademark scruff. However, if we are to believe Loretta that these are actually Leroy's lost clothes from 30 years ago, this would mean that there was a time (apparently the 1980's) when Leroy was actually following contemporary popular fashion to a T. Even now, his flash frozen 80's look updates his usual daily wardrobe by at least 30 years. It makes me wonder if Leroy's personal style reached its peak in the 80's and has been steadily regressing backwards year by year like some sort of fashion Benjamin Button. Loretta earns the point and ties it up 1-1.
- What kind of horrifying condition could Leroy's chair cushion be in that Loretta has to wear full body protection when attempting to clean around it? What could Leroy be possibly doing on his cushion that would warrant such a response? I would expect Loretta to be in full scrub gear to take care of the dinning room after one of her disgusting meals has run its course, but this seems like an exaggeration. What male stereotype is Leroy displaying here? Our tendency to have unconscionably filthy seat cushions? It's all somewhat unclear, but Loretta still earns a point and takes a 2-1 lead.
- I have to agree with Leroy here. The handful of times I have seen an opera, I had little to no idea what was going on. Most of the time they're in different languages and I think you're supposed to use the program to help you get an idea of the story or something? I would appreciate a little heads up myself. In this situation I would think that the shocking sight of watching what appears to be a 20 foot tall woman singing opera would be enough to keep Leroy entertained but it seems he still would like some more context. Leroy comes through with the point and, heading into the final panel, ties everything up 2-2.
- It's a spiteful victory for Loretta since she's stranded as well, but spite is one of the major themes of "The Lockhorns". There's no way of determining what jurisdiction the Lockhorns are in but a municipality that would tow your car for parking at an expired meter seems absurdly Draconian. I have to assume that there was some other reason for the towing; perhaps the Lockhorns were in default of car payments, or there were an excessive amount of tickets on the registration, or it was needed as evidence for Loretta's vehicular homicide trial. Regardless, Loretta's remark still wins her the point and the tight Sunday victory 3-2.
Official Count:
Leroy - 115
Loretta - 129
Push - 79
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
November 11, 2012: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Although Loretta is not present in the panel, I cannot find any reason for her to be denied a well earned point. The rule has always been that the party being mocked must be in the room and aware of the mockery, but I can't see anything wrong with the mocker not being in the picture just as long as their insult comes across; as it does here in bizarre fashion. For a poster supposedly designed to memorialize Leroy losing a bowling match with Loretta it is awfully ambiguous. It looks more like a missing persons poster for Leroy or some parody poster for the TV series "Lost". The whole thing requires an explanation by Leroy to be understood by visitors; which may actually be the intention by Loretta. The first point of the day goes to Loretta as she leads 1-0.
- Leroy's raging alcoholism has been the source of many vulnerabilities that Loretta has exploited over the years; today she has apparently found another unexpected weakness caused by Leroy's struggles with the bottle. I wonder what site or encrypted file Loretta has guessed her way into. The sudden look of anxiety over Leroy's face may indicate a hidden porno stash or, even worse, a secret online savings account. Leroy really should have incorporated some numbers, symbols, and varying caps. Loretta earns other point and is firmly in control with a 2-0 lead.
- This is truly an exceptional display of sheer carelessness on the part of Leroy. If it really is to be believed that Leroy accidentally picked a Bar Mitzvah card through total negligence rather than intentionally out of malice, then it is quite an amazing bit of slackery. Considering the card Leroy found is the most absurdly no-frills Bar Mitzvah card with a cover that just says "Happy Bar Mitzvah" in black all caps; Leroy must have somehow managed to avert his gaze for the entire process of selecting and purchasing the card. Impressive. There is of course also the alternate possibility that Leroy is illiterate. Regardless, Leroy gets the point and gets on the board. Loretta still leads 2-1.
- All those years of culinary torture at the hands of Loretta actually paid off for Leroy. For Leroy it was still probably some of the best meals of his life. Anyone who has managed to survive consuming all those toxic meals for all that time should be immune to all forms of poor cooking, food poisoning, or chemical weapon attack. At this point I won't be surprised if Leroy ate a bowl of yellowcake uranium and chased it with a beaker of sulfuric acid without even a hint of indigestion. Leroy wins the point and continues the comeback to tie it at 2-2.
- I have never seen "The Taming of the Shrew" (though I did watch "10 Things I Hate About You" in high school) but I don't think there is much in terms of practical shrew taming strategies to be found in the play. However, I have heard the play has some controversial misogynistic elements, so Leroy would definitely be a fan. This is indeed a rare case where Leroy is exiting a theater performance with a simile while Loretta is unhappy. And while we're in opposite land, let's give it up for Leroy who capped off a rare rally with an uncharacteristically clutch, Loretta-esque, final panel victory. Meanwhile, Loretta fails to seal the deal after goes up 2-0 early on. Upside down indeed. Leroy takes the day 3-2.
Official Count:
Leroy - 112
Loretta - 127
Push - 77
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Friday, November 9, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
November 8, 2012
Author's Note: Leroy's sort of a rocking a PSY look here. I half expect him to start screaming at the lady's ass.
Official Count:
Leroy - 110
Loretta - 126
Push - 77
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
November 4, 2012: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Not a perfect zinger by Leroy but it is still quite effective. He's clearly indicating that Loretta's figure has been expanding, but when I imagine adding minutes to an hourglass my initial impression is increasing the amount of sand in the top part rather than physically increasing the size of the hourglass (and thus increasing the amount of sand) so it can tally more minutes. Still, the insult is surprisingly sharp for Leroy; this is the kind of line Loretta would normally be saying about him. Leroy kicks things off with a point and leads 1-0.
- Believe me Leroy, if the modest page view numbers of this blog are any indication, your tingling Leroy sense is not being set off by interest from the internet. I'm not even sure what the point of this panel is. What's the joke? The fact that Leroy is using the phrase "googling me"? That Leroy is awkwardly adapting an old expression for modern times? With less than two months left in the year, Leroy really should focus on capitalizing every opportunity to catch up to Loretta. It's a push, Leroy still leads 1-0.
- The Lockhorns must live in some implausibly lucky section of Nassau county. This is about the closet thing to a reference to Hurricane Sandy which devastated so much of the region last week. Leroy appears to be exploiting the state of emergency as an excuse to ditch Loretta and go fishing. While most people would find using a destructive natural disaster as a means to lie to your spouse and to facilitate your own personal leisure activity as extremely offensive, in the world of the Lockhorns that is worth a point. Leroy leads 2-0.
- It would appear that the Lockhorns are taking a page out of "Ziggy" and futilely taking their personal problems to the complaint department of a retail store. Leave it to the Lockhorns to find inspiration in the one comic character with an even more pathetic, loveless, existence than them. One can only shudder at the volume of miserable marriage complaints that the Lockhorns dropped on those poor complaint department employees. It's another push, which means that Leroy clinches early victory with a 2-0 leads with only one panel to go.
- Who knew Leroy was a bit of a comic book guy? Leroy's tears are definitely justified. Given his age, the comic books of Leroy's youth were probably a wealth of Golden Age Era issues worth millions. He probably had a cherished copy of Action Comics #1, which would explain the uncontrollable bawling at the sight of the Superman poster. Loretta's callus attitude towards Leroy's suffering is just enough to earn her a point. Leroy however still hangs on to take the day with a 2-1 victory.
Official Count:
Leroy - 108
Loretta - 124
Push - 77
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Friday, November 2, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
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