September 30, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• I wonder what the reason for all the glaring would be. I assume it's for some offensive behavior that Leroy will no doubt engage in during service. However I can't rule out the possibility that Leroy is just so generally hated by the community that any large gathering results in a flurry of hateful glares. If that is the case then I feel bad for poor Leroy, one would think that a church would be one of the few places where he could get a little bit of forgiveness. Also, check out those massive matching bibles. It looks like they're toting around large hotel ledgers. Loretta gets the first point, takes a 1-0 lead.
• Rather than allow Loretta to rack up another point at the expense of his mental failures, Leroy manages to salvage a defensive push by beating her to the insult. Sometimes you have to make the best of a bad situation. For someone who is claiming they have compromised faculties, Leroy's little comment comes off relatively clever (it's actually sharper than some of the zingers he throws out with a clear head). All Loretta can do is stand in disappointment at a wasted opportunity as the scene ends in a push. She still leads however 1-0.
• If there is anything worse than Loretta's cooking (and one has to really stretch the imagination to envision such heinous things) it is leftovers of Loretta's cooking. The queasy shade of green of those disgusting lumps they are eating could either have been due to spoilage or is the actual natural color of the meal. It is a testament to the durability of Tupperware containers that they haven't yet disintegrated from whatever toxic culinary abominations Loretta has summoned from the kitchen. Leroy scores a point and ties the day 1-1.
• Frankly this is a terrible analogy by Loretta. The only similar thing between fantasy baseball for men and romance novels for women may be that they are mainly popular with their respective genders. One is a type of simulated game that coincides with the baseball season and the other is a genre of popular literature. As for the romance novel section pictured, based on their blank hard covers and total lack of traditional shirtless romantic cover art, I can only assume that these are either classic literature featuring romance or super filthy sex novels that require discreet covers. It's another push as the score remains tied up at 1.
• To pull out the victory in the final panel, Loretta enlists the aid of her mother to seal the deal. This was a potentially risky gambit for Loretta. While bringing in her mom would have given her an extra Leroy hating body in the room, it is also would have provided another target (one which Leroy is well accustomed to mocking) for Leroy to take advantage of. In the end it paid off for Loretta as she exploited Leroy's adult illiteracy with her mom providing the initial set up. If it were a counted stat, Loretta's mother would be credited with an assist. Loretta brings home the point and steals a close 2-1 Sunday victory.

Official Count:

Leroy - 96

Loretta - 112

Push - 66

September 29, 2012

Held In Contempt

Official Count:

Leroy - 96

Loretta - 111

Push - 66

September 28, 2012

Accepting Change

Official Count:

Leroy - 95

Loretta - 111

Push - 66

September 27, 2012

Mute Button

Official Count:

Leroy - 95

Loretta - 110

Push - 66

September 26, 2012

Trading Block

Official Count:

Leroy - 94

Loretta - 110

Push - 66

September 25, 2012

Read My Lips

Official Count:

Leroy - 94

Loretta - 109

Push - 66

September 24, 2012

Spoiled Dinner

Official Count:

Leroy - 94

Loretta - 108

Push - 66

September 23, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Loretta's insult in this panel can almost be construed as a high compliment. Since when does she ever admit that Leroy "doesn't have many faults"? I am assuming she's just saying that to set up her punchline about the sheer depths of Leroy's faults (the particular fault being showcased here is his uncontrollable binge drinking at parties). I would hate to think that she was getting soft. Still, she could have just as well said that Leroy is an infinite source of embarrassing, deep, personal flaws and gotten the same reaction. However, who am I to question the master? Loretta takes an early 1-0 lead.
• This is what counts for sunny optimism in the Lockhorns household. It must be doubly disappointing for Leroy when he see Loretta stagger in through the house after another highly destructive car accident; there's the fact that the car is totaled and he is liable for all the collateral damage she has caused, and then there's the added disappointment of Loretta surviving all the devastation. As for Loretta, it is commendable how she can manage to zing Leroy despite her shell shocked condition. Loretta earns another point and extends her lead to 2-0.
• It doesn't appear that the office of the good Dr. Blog finds Leroy's pun about his bills all that humorous. In light of the previous panel, it is bitterly ironic that although Loretta gets into a massive car crashes every other day it is Leroy who is constantly going to the doctor's office and racking up medical bills. I would say Leroy's medical cost issues are a prominent example of the healthcare crisis in this country, but he's probably old enough to get the benefits of medicare and medicaid in addition to the (albeit crappy) insurance he gets from work. It's a push, Loretta still leads 2-0.
• Leroy is at his stubborn, unrepentant, best in this scene. He makes no excuses for his drinking (as Loretta will concur as being one of his most prominent faults) despite receiving the deadliest of stares from Loretta. Leroy needs to do more of this sort of embracing of his personal flaws if he has any hopes of future success. All his liabilities, with the proper amount of finesse and swagger, can be turned into possible victories like the one we see here. Drink up Leroy, you've certainly earned your point in this scene. Loretta leads 2-1.
• I want to know what sort of mall department store would have a "memorial urns" section. That would be beyond bleak. Then again, most people are usually at the mercy of the crematorium when it comes to urn selection. Perhaps there is an untapped market for quality, competitively priced memorial urns. Knowing Loretta I expected a far darker joke regarding the urns. Her dig about Leroy's hair loss is almost lighthearted. Of course Leroy certainly isn't taking her jab with jolly good humor as he sullenly stands there mourning with the deep sadness only a bald man could have for his departed hair. Loretta banks another point and cruises to a 3-1 Sunday victory.  

Official Count:

Leroy - 93

Loretta - 108

Push - 66

September 22, 2012

Road To Nowhere

Official Count:

Leroy - 93

Loretta - 107

Push - 66

September 21, 2012

Hardly Earning

Official Count:

Leroy - 92

Loretta - 107

Push - 66

September 20, 2012

Garbage Day!

Author's Note: Of course any mention of garbage day reminds me of this classic cinematic scene. 

Official Count:

Leroy - 92

Loretta - 106

Push - 66

September 19, 2012

Hot Lines

Official Count:

Leroy - 92

Loretta - 106

Push - 65

September 18, 2012

Drug Bust

Official Count:

Leroy - 92

Loretta - 106

Push - 64

September 17, 2012

Set Schedule

Official Count:

Leroy - 92

Loretta - 106

Push - 63

September 16, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• Does Loretta really even have to ask? It is amazing the number of previously unknown talents Leroy displays when he wants to insult Loretta and her mother. Today we see that Leroy is quite skilled in the art of needlepoint. I suppose Leroy could have just bought the large sign, but I like to think that he put in the extra personal effort. Additionally, the ever stingy Leroy would always opt to save some cash by choosing the D.I.Y. route (that has certainly been his philosophy in the past, much to the detriment of the house, when it came to plumbing repairs). Leroy earns the first point and takes a 1-0 lead.
• Normally the Lockhorns survey their depressing financial situation at their large old timey roll top desk. Perhaps they were forced to sell it due to their depressing financial situation. How Loretta can talk about saving money with a straight face, I do not know. Is she that blind to the fact that her reckless shopping sprees are the main reason for the Lockhorns' money woes? Leroy should really take advantage of these accounting sessions to dig into Loretta about her deficit spending rather than just looking on in mute hopelessness. It's a push, the score remains 1-0 in favor of Leroy.
• Leroy channels his inner Wooderson, turning up the sleaze factor as he does some hard ogling at his latest Amazonian target. I can't really blame Leroy for his wandering eye, if I was constantly surrounded by freakishly proportioned bimbos all the time I would be endlessly distracted as well (although more by the novelty of their freakish appearance than any lustful attraction). What sort of bizarre place are the Lockhorns in anyway? In addition to looking like someone's backyard, they are formally dressed while t shirt and jean clad bimbos wander around. Leroy grabs another point and advances to a 2-0 lead.
• I am always slightly surprised that a small rowboat can hold the Lockhorns up without capsizing. Aside from all their extra weight, I don't know how they can find any room for their monstrous feet. Loretta's presence on the boat itself is already a victory for her in ruining Leroy's day, but the additional complaints about the poor fishing is just a bitter cherry on top. Even God seems to be joining in on the fun by throwing in a pouring rain storm to add an exclamation point to all the awfulness. Loretta gets the point and cuts the lead to 2-1.
• Initially I wasn't sure who to give the point to in this panel. On one hand you have Loretta ruining Leroy's television watching with some well timed vacuuming. On the other hand Loretta is doing housework while Leroy is lounging around shouting sarcastic comments at her. In the end I went by the facial expressions and body language and Loretta just had a defeated look about her while Leroy looked to be on the offensive. It was a close call. Leroy gets the point and  manages to prevent the push to take the day with a strong 3-1 victory.

Official Count:

Leroy - 92

Loretta - 106

Push - 62

September 15, 2012

Roasted

Official Count:

Leroy - 91

Loretta - 106

Push - 62

September 14, 2012

Plastics

Official Count:

Leroy - 90

Loretta - 106

Push - 62

September 13, 2012

Low Card

Official Count:

Leroy - 90

Loretta - 105

Push - 62

September 12, 2012

Never Forget

Official Count:

Leroy - 90

Loretta - 104

Push - 62

September 11, 2012

Dropping Weight

Official Count:

Leroy - 89

Loretta - 104

Push - 62

September 10, 2012

Antiquing

Official Count:

Leroy - 89

Loretta - 103

Push - 62

September 9, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left:

• It's a shame we don't get to see the name of Loretta's gym (going by the all female clientele, perhaps it's a Curves). I would like to know if such a bizarre gym actually exists. Why are there women doing aerobics right in front of the exercise machines? Why is everyone dressed like Olivia Newton-John in video for "Physical"? What is up with Loretta's machine? The cable seems to be suspended to the ceiling for some reason. Perhaps Loretta would make more consistent, lasting progress with her weight loss if she went to a different, non-insane, gym. It's a push.
• I found Leroy's "veiled threat" zinger to be a lot wittier than his usual material. I often find myself underestimating Leroy (how could anyone not?). I suspect the Lockhorns' encounter with the bridal shop window was not just random chance. I think Leroy had planned out this scene way ahead of time. It would explain why he would allow himself to lock arms with Loretta, he was likely guiding her down the specific street so he could spring his trap. Once again, uncharacteristically smart. A well earned point for Leroy. He leads 1-0.
• That about succinctly sums up Loretta's shopping addiction in relation to the Lockhorns' poor financial health. Sometimes just pointing out the ridiculousness of the Lockhorns' everyday lives is just as devastating as a well crafted one liner. If this were a non-Sunday panel I would have had a difficult time trying to distill it down to its basic message. You really can't get more basic than Loretta telling Leroy she is spending well beyond their means. It lacks flourish but it's undeniably effective. Loretta earns the point and ties things up 1-1.
• Why would Leroy even volunteer to be the target of a carnival dunk tank booth? I'm ruling out that Leroy is doing charity work so I must assume that, in a desperate effort to earn some extra money, Leroy took a part time job at a local amusement park. Unfortunately for Leroy, (a) Loretta found out about it and (b) she apparently has Greg Maddux-esque pinpoint pitching accuracy. The two spectators on the left should look a bit more impressed at her amazing display of control. Loretta scores another point and takes a 2-1 lead.
• None of the past panels from around this time indicate that it was the Lockhorns' actual wedding anniversary, so it seems that they actually threw an anniversary party celebrating the moment they really started to annoy each other (um, but isn't that still their wedding day?). Their guests don't seem to mind the unusual celebration; since they're not doubled over with stomach pains, it also appears that the food was catered. I'm going to assume all this was orchestrated by Loretta to complain about her marriage and thus she deserves a point; though at this point she doesn't even need it. Loretta rolls over Leroy and takes the day with a dominating 3-1 victory.

Official Count:

Leroy - 88

Loretta - 103

Push - 62

September 8, 2012

Outspoken

Official Count:

Leroy - 88

Loretta - 102

Push - 62

September 7, 2012

Hate The Rainbow

Official Count:

Leroy - 87

Loretta - 102

Push - 62

September 6, 2012

Walk Hard

Official Count:

Leroy - 86

Loretta - 102

Push - 62

September 5, 2012

Dr. Blah

Official Count:

Leroy - 86

Loretta - 101

Push - 62

September 4, 2012

Network Neighborhood

Official Count:

Leroy - 86

Loretta - 101

Push - 61

September 3, 2012

The Honeymooners

Official Count:

Leroy - 86

Loretta - 101

Push - 60

September 2, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

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Clockwise from the bottom left: 

• Loretta pulls off an amazing trick to start the Showdown. Despite her destructive driving being the reason the car needs repairs, she uses it as an opportunity to criticize Leroy as being stingy for choosing to repair the vehicle rather than purchasing a new one. Poor Leroy, who can only afford so many replacement automobiles too keep up with Loretta's vehicular rampages, is just plain dumbstruck by Loretta's gall. Loretta boldly takes the first point of the day and leads 1-0.
• I wonder if Loretta's mother sends them a different, large, framed statement of condemnation every year for their anniversary. Or maybe she just sends the same phrase every year as a constant reminder of her disapproval of their marriage. I initially thought that the message was directed at Leroy but I suppose the statement could be for both Leroy and Loretta. She certainly doesn't seem all that happy to have it up; which begs the question: what would the Lockhorns even prominently display such a thing in their home? It's a push. Loretta leads 1-0.
• Leroy is going for the lint roller brush treatment. It's rather unusual to see the normally slovenly Leroy making such a detailed effort towards his appearance. He must have a super important interview with the local carnival for their head barker position (that or he's trying out for a barbershop quartet). Whatever the event may be, Loretta is dependably right there by his side, mocking him. I'm interpreting Loretta's line as a crack about Leroy's relentless hair shedding, but it may also be taken as a knock against the suit itself. Loretta scores the point and extends her lead to 2-0.
• I was surprised by Leroy's use of the word "terrarium", it's definitely a word that I did not expect to be in his vocabulary. I even had to quickly look it up to remember the actual definition. To Leroy's credit, his use of it is apt. As seemingly foolproof making a salad is, I can imagine that a ruined salad by Loretta could resemble an terrarium, most likely full of inedible leaves and sticks. For all we know there might even be some living creatures in there. Leroy gets the point to cut Loretta's lead down to 2-1.
• What theater are the Lockhorns going to that is still showing the 3-D re-release of Titanic? I think it came out around January. Knowing Leroy, the only way he'd willingly see a higher priced 3D movie would be at a heavy discount at some budget theater over half a year removed from the film's initial run. Since Leroy is incapable of understanding concepts of love, sacrifice, and general human affection he can only surmise that drowning on the Titanic has some sort of inexplicable attractive effect on women. Still, Leroy earns the point for his comments and manages to force a push overall for the day. Given the early hole he was it, it might have been the best case scenario.  

Official Count:

Leroy - 86

Loretta - 100

Push - 60

September 1, 2012

Amateur Hour

Official Count:

Leroy - 86

Loretta - 100

Push - 59