Official Count:
Leroy - 53
Loretta - 66
Push - 33
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
May 27, 2012: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Wow, Leroy is in particularly bad shape today. It seems beyond just being lethargic, he looks like he's in a state somewhere between extreme sleep deprivation and living with the latter stages of a terminal illness. Of course even if he was suffering some severe illness, I would not expect a different reaction from Loretta. She would still be mocking him over the phone to her silently horrified friend Helen. That is what makes Loretta the established champion she is. Loretta starts the showdown off with a 1-0 lead.
- Ouch. Not only does Loretta dismiss Leroy's dreams of a beach vacation, but she also manages to trash his poor golf game as well. Though she uses just about the lamest, oldest, golf joke imaginable (the excessive sand trap/beach comparison), it is understandable given how well it fits into the situation. Additionally, it's interesting to see that Marcy from "Peanuts" grew up to be become a travel agent on Long Island. Loretta gets the point, taking a commanding 2-0 lead.
- An extremely well played panel by Leroy. In an uncharacteristic bit of cleverness and sharp thinking, Leroy manages to flip a criticism by Loretta (possibly about his disheveled morning appearance) into a solid retort. Maybe it's the coffee that is responsible for Leroy's sudden quick thinking? What seemed like a guaranteed showdown clinching third point for Loretta has been reversed to give Leroy a fragile first step into coming back and potentially taking the showdown. Loretta still leads 2-1.
- Leroy misses a prime opportunity here to mock Loretta while explaining to the dealer that it's her constant crashing that's causing them to be frequently purchasing new automobiles. He really could have covered both, emphasizing his modest car buying budget and the fact that his wife is a dangerous car smash machine. As for Loretta, there was probably a missed opportunity for her to mock Leroy's car purchasing frugality. It's just a disappointing push all around. Loretta still leads 2-1 going into the final panel.
- I first thought dated, out of touch Loretta was referring to Kevin Bacon's character in the movie "Footloose" as Footloose and then stating that Leroy was acting like him. Then I remembered that footloose can also be used as an adjective referring to someone who is acting like a free spirit and doing as they wish. However using footloose as an adjective also implies a certain degree of oldness and generally not being with it as well. Despite the slightly outmoded word choices Loretta still gets the point for raining on Leroy's bimbo dancing parade and takes yet another Sunday 3-1.
Official Count:
Leroy - 51
Loretta - 65
Push - 32
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
May 21, 2012
Author's Note: It's good to see that Counselor Pullman did not abandon the Lockhorns. I was getting worried after last week.
Official Count:
Leroy - 49
Loretta - 62
Push - 31
Sunday, May 20, 2012
May 20, 2012: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- You have to hand it to Loretta, she is a master of efficiency. In one deft move, she manages to both antagonize the poor pollster and lay into Leroy with a choice insult. You can tell she was pretty effective based on the identical negative reactions by both Leroy and the pollster. Leroy must be a bit conflicted in this situation. On one hand, Loretta has just openly mocked him in front of a stranger, but on the other hand she may have just saved him the hassle of answering a bunch of polling questions. For Leroy, that may almost be worth ceding the point to Loretta. Loretta goes up 1-0.
- It really doesn't get any more frank than Leroy in this panel. Technically, Leroy's comments shouldn't even be considered a true insult. It's more along the lines of excessive candor that rises to the level of being insulting. In the end though Loretta is thoroughly offended so Leroy deserves the point. Considering how he can generally never match up with Loretta in terms of wit and clever mockery perhaps Leroy should start exploring more of this sort of direct aggressive candidness. Leroy ties things up 1-0.
- Local Huntington women's clothing store Rexer-Parkes is getting a prominent plug in the prime center panel this week. No doubt, it'll receive the beneficial "Lockhorns Bump" that so many featured local Levittown area businesses have gotten in the past. As for Loretta's insult, I appreciate its subtle complexity. The first part of the statement implies that she'll be making even more purchases than usual, while the second part referencing the odometer means either Leroy lacks the intelligence to quickly read said odometer or that the car is so old and has so many miles on it that it will take Leroy an extended period of time to read the millage; or perhaps both! Loretta earns the point and takes a 2-1 lead.
- The tougher Loretta's steak becomes, the easier it becomes for Leroy to score a quick point critiquing it. I am not sure how Loretta manages to so easily consume her own foul cooking. I suspect she may either be immune to her own bad meals or she takes actual effort to make her portions slightly more palpable. Did anybody else, after reading Leroy's comments, initially picture some sort of robot chef made of iron rather than a chef who cooks meals of iron? Anyone? Leroy gets the point ties things up at 2-2.
- Exactly what kind of party are the Lockhorns attending that involve middle aged adult couples playing "pin the tail on the donkey"? I shudder to think that this is some kind of lighthearted icebreaker intended to lessen the early tension at a key party. I find it surprising and a bit disappointing that Loretta didn't make some remark about Leroy being a jackass rather than criticizing Leroy's investing strategy. I figured Loretta would say something along the lines of how the game should be called "pin the tail on the Leroy". It really writes itself. Obvious insult or not Loretta still manages to come through with another impressive deciding panel victory (she's like the Boston Celtics of "Lockhorn vs. Lockhorn"). Loretta takes the day 3-2.
Official Count:
Leroy - 49
Loretta - 62
Push - 30
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
May 17, 2012
Author's Note: This enormous woman will devour us all!
Official Count:
Leroy - 48
Loretta - 61
Push - 29
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
May 13, 2012: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Leroy certainly could have gone a whole lot nastier in this panel. Really could Loretta and her equally deluded friend have been any more ripe for ridicule? She's like a giant inflated ball of misplaced vanity just waiting to be violently popped. However instead of attacking her rampant narcissism, Leroy makes a complaint about the additional dry cleaner fees that will arise from purchasing expensive new clothes. He doesn't even make a stink about how pricey the clothes are, which would be the second most likely criticism I would expect from him. I don't know if it's just sloppiness or a calculated effort to freshen up his usual material, but I found it a little lacking. However Leroy still gets the points in the end.
- Perhaps the reason no one listens to Loretta is because people from our reality have trouble communicating with beings who originate from a monochromatic, extradimensional void. I always find it strange when the details of the Lockhorns' home suddenly disappear and they seem to exist in a random colored purgatory. As for Loretta's line, it's a tad lazy but it appears to be oddly effective. Leroy, standing by the door, looks way more broken up then usual over Loretta's comment that nobody listens to him. Loretta scores the point and ties things up 1-1.
- Although Leroy has proven himself numerous times in the past to be surprisingly tech savvy when it comes to computers and the internet, he makes the classic "old person and computers" blunder of thinking the internet exists within his computer. You cannot blame your own computer if your hated mother-in-law has sent you a friend request on a social networking site. That being said, I am completely shocked that Loretta's mother, the one who is essentially a 19th century schoolmarm, has enough technical acumen to send Leroy a friend request let alone comprehend electricity. Leroy gets the point, he leads 2-1.
- Loretta sure wan't kidding when she said "low", even for Leroy this is excessively sleazy. From what it seems Leroy abandoned Loretta, in the middle of the day no less, to go on some sort of bender at a trashy dive bar filled with some sordid characters. From what it looks like he was trying to actively pick up that toothy redhead to his right (who may ore may not be a prostitute). I am almost tempted to give Leroy the point for finding himself in a situation that would so infuriate Loretta. However, I still have to award Loretta the point for breaking up the fun. The day is tied 2-2.
- Could this finally be the end of marriage counselor Pullman's long, miserable, engagement with the Lockhorns? Has he finally snapped and realized that no amount of money on earth was worth an eternity of weekly appointments with the Lockhorns to talk about their broken marriage? The first cracks may have been last month when he began to realize he was only "treating" the Lockhorns for the money rather than any expectation of progress. Unfortunately Pullman's pull out also leaves the panel and the Sunday Showdown in a disappointing 2-2 push.
Official Count:
Leroy - 47
Loretta - 59
Push - 28
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
May 6, 2012: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- You cannot help but feel sorry for the Lockhorns' dinner guests in this panel. They somehow managed to survive being served dinner by Loretta only to be given the depressing news that there is still after dinner coffee to be served. If I were in their shoes, I would immediately attempt to run out the front door while both Lockhorns are preoccupied in the kitchen. This is assuming they haven't been too weakened by the toxic food to make it to the door. Leroy goes up 1-0.
- I enjoyed where Loretta took the fat joke here. Given a complete open net opportunity by the nurse to comment on Leroy's weight, Loretta bypasses the obvious joke about how much Leroy weighs and masterfully flips it to a line about his rotund physique. I think a visual reference to Leroy's comically corpulent figure works a lot better than some crack about his actual weight. Speaking of outrageous proportions, that poor nurse is in desperate need of a bigger desk. It looks more like a podium from here. Loretta gets the point and ties things up at 1-1.
- Apparently Leroy is so awful and obnoxious that even the pastor cannot resist publicly judging him. I wonder what lessons the pastor was trying to teach with Leroy as an example? The evils of sloth? A warning about gluttony? The all consuming negative nature of anger? Really most of the seven deadly sins can be covered using Leroy as a cautionary example. Ye, despite all the abuse he still continues to show up to his antagonistic church. I think Leroy can teach us all a lesson about forgiveness. Loretta still wins the point though and takes a 2-1 lead.
- Loretta's bracelet must be a pretty impressive piece of bling. If she is getting some sort of precious stone trinket for every missed relationship event, it is impressive enough that she is able to even wear such a heavy item. It must be absolutely galling for Leroy to sit there and watch Loretta endlessly gloat about her ostentatious personal trophy. One wonders why Leroy even goes into their empty white void room when Loretta's in there with company. Loretta cruises to her third straight point and manages to clinch another Showdown, 3-1.
- What's really impressive about this panel here is the reason Leroy has to resort to constantly playing the lottery is mainly due to Loretta's wild spending habits. She ridicules him for a situation she has obviously created. Now that is making your own shots! This is just one of the many reasons why Loretta has been so utterly dominant in her running competition with Leroy over the years. Leroy needs to show that sort of gumption and ingenuity if he even wants to think of keeping pace with Loretta. After an initial setback, Loretta comes back to totally steamroll Leroy 4-1.
Official Count:
Leroy - 45
Loretta - 57
Push - 25
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Friday, May 4, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
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