Official Count:
Leroy - 20
Loretta - 29
Push - 11
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
February 26, 2012: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Is it me or does it look like Leroy and Loretta are both wearing the same outfit here? There is something quite off about her in this scene. Why isn't she wearing her usual frock? What's with the short sleeved, collared shirt? Doesn't her hands appear particularly masculine grabbing that paper? It's almost as if they just stuck Loretta's head on top of a copy of Leroy's body. I find this far more interesting than Leroy's banal complaint about the plane's delayed landing. It's a push.
- Leroy must know by now that any attempts at "seduction" by either Lockhorn will be immediately met with extreme skepticism and suspicion by the other party. Leroy would have had a better chance of obtaining control of the TV by bluntly strangling Loretta from behind (he is in perfect position) than attempting a smooth soft sell. His pathetic efforts here have only led to rejection and disappointment. Loretta goes up 1-0.
- Loretta shows here that she doesn't have much respect for Twitter as a serious medium for obtaining news and information; it's not a surprising attitude for someone of her age. She needs to eventually acknowledge the importance of such social media platforms in the dissemination of information in the 21st century, rather than write it off as a novelty of the vapid and ignorant. Also, check out the headlights on that girl. Leroy better be careful or he might lose an eye! Loretta scores the point, 2-0.
- I find it odd that Leroy is driving with his friend in the front seat and Loretta in the back. In most three passenger cart seating situations, the married couple usually shares the same row. Then again, none of the traditional rules and assumptions of marriage apply to the Lockhorns. I suspect Leroy intentionally placed Loretta in the backseat and got himself pulled over so he can make his commentary about her being a backseat driver. The cop and Leroy's friend don't appear all that impressed. Leroy gets the point nevertheless. It's 2-1 Loretta.
- The image of Leroy complaining about the lack of coverage provided by his hospital gown is not my ideal way to end a Sunday Showdown; neither is a push. I can't recall one off hand, but I'm pretty sure there have been panels with Leroy complaining about the inadequate coverage of his health insurance. Here, he admits that he is fully covered by insurance but has some relatively trivial complaints about his gown, proving just how dedicated he is to the art of complaining. I doubt there is a situation imaginable where Leroy can't find something to rage about. With that push, Loretta hangs on for the 2-1 victory.
Official Count:
Leroy - 19
Loretta - 27
Push - 11
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
February 19, 2012: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- The obvious joke is that Loretta is over preparing for a "role-playing" exercise at the marriage counselor's, but I am perplexed as to what "role" she is actually preparing for. Based on the outfit and make up Loretta seems to be under the impression that the role playing will be done in mime. Is this really the default instinct that comes to mind for Loretta when she hears she will be involved in role playing? Also, from a logistical standpoint, shouldn't she have done all the preparations at home rather than inconvenience herself by getting ready in the waiting area? Leroy gets the point.
- Poor Leroy looks so helpless and feeble in the face of Loretta's relentless demands for the contents of his wallet. We are essentially witnessing a mugging. I imagine that this desperate confrontation is literally over the modest number of one dollar bills in his wallet; which would make this situation all the more sadder. He'll certainly need a better excuse than his pathetic claim of protecting his lucky dollar bills if he wants any chance of holding onto at least some of his money the next time Loretta comes calling. Loretta ties things up 1-1.
- Loretta has a real sweet deal when it comes to Leroy's constant snoozing. He becomes completely passive and defenseless. It's basically a wide open shot for her as long as she can quickly rustle up a friend to listen to her insults. It is debatable as to whether insults given under these circumstances count since Leroy may not be aware of his humiliation, but my stance has always been to allow the mere presence of the other party in the room to be enough for a point. Loretta goes up 2-1.
- It's another installment of modern TV criticism: Lockhorn-style! This time, the Lockhorns are calling out "The Real Housewives..." reality series. I don't really find the idea of a Real Housewives of Poughkeepsie to be all that absurd. It may not be as high end or as glamorous as New York or Beverly Hills, but I'm sure you can find plenty of spoiled, awful, status obsessed women desperate to exploited on TV. I think Poughkeepsie was selected as a parody city mostly on the strength of its funny sounding name (Albuquerque, Walla Walla, and Sheboygan would have also been fine alternates). It's a push, Loretta still leads 2-1.
- Leroy pulls off a fine spiteful maneuver here by opting to get the worst table in the restaurant just to annoy Loretta and to mockingly grant her request for a table near a window. This may not have even been intentional. Given the Lockhorns' long history of being victims of sub par to downright hostile service by dinning establishments, Leroy might have just been making the best of an already lousy situation, turning a potentially worthless push into a point for himself. This rare clutch effort by Leroy gives him the point and helps him salvage an overall 2-2 push.
Official Count:
Leroy - 17
Loretta - 25
Push - 8
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
February 13, 2012
Author's Note: To be fair to Leroy, Leno usually puts anyone to sleep.
Official Count:
Leroy - 14
Loretta - 23
Push - 7
Sunday, February 12, 2012
February 12, 2012: Sunday Showdown!
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Clockwise from the bottom left:
- I enjoyed the ridiculous poster for "Tender Feelings", the hardcore chick flick that Loretta subjected Leroy to watching. Everything about it from the solitary close up picture of a woman crying to the absurd title written in fancy script indicates that it must be the mother of all other the top, melodramatic, stereotypical, female-centric weepies. Frankly, I would not be surprised if it was just two hours of watching a woman cry. I'm still going to give Leroy the benefit of the points because, despite his miserable experience, he manages to put his foot down and demand that the next three films would be explosion filled, stereotypical male-centric actions flicks; so it's sort of a net gain for him. Leroy goes up 1-0.
- The obvious question in my mind here is: what the hell happened to Leroy? His explanation as to why he couldn't call Loretta to apologize strongly implies that he was possibly in jail. While Leroy has had his share of brushes with the law, I don't think it has been established as a running theme that Leroy is constantly getting arrested. I then start to wonder what he could have done to have gotten himself arrested in the first place. Does it have something to do with the apology he owes Loretta? Was it a domestic disturbance situation that got out of hand? Did he get into a vicious fight with someone at a party? Was he arrested for harassing a random bimbo? Despite the uncertainty, Leroy still gets the point; a quick 2-0 lead for Leroy.
- Loretta tosses out a pretty groan worthy joke about her dieting struggles (I guess she has a "week-ness" for sundaes?) . Personally, I think she should have included the full week and said six days instead of five. Unfortunately for Leroy, he suffers one of his occasional maddening lapses in focus and lets Loretta get away with a making a self-deprecating statement while vulnerably standing on the bathroom scale instead of easily capitalizing with a remark and clinching the day. Leroy can ill afford to ignore such ripe opportunities. Push. Leroy leads 2-0.
- There has to be some sort of ethical rule among insurance brokers that prevents them from selling life insurance policies to married couples where the beneficiary spouse is clearly planning on murdering the policy holding spouse and cashing in on the payout. It would be a reckless and dangerously shortsighted act by the broker here to sell a policy to the Lockhorns. To Leroy's credit however it looks like he is somewhat suspicious of Loretta's intentions. Loretta scores a point and cuts the lead down to 2-1.
- Leroy looks like he's about to get into another enraged, cocktail fueled, altercation with a random party guest; thus burning yet another bridge with an acquaintance. Loretta, as always, is right in the front row to enjoy the show and ready with a comment. I do have to accuse Loretta of some embellishment here; there is absolutely no way that Loretta has ever genuinely asked for Leroy's opinion on anything. Despite the twisting of the truth, the spirit of the put down remains the same. Loretta get the point and finishes strong while Leroy completes a massive choke job to salvage a 2-2 push from what seemingly appeared to be a blowout loss.
Official Count:
Leroy - 14
Loretta - 22
Push - 7
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
February 5, 2012: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- My heart goes out to the poor gift counselor. Not only does she have to sit all day at her desk at the mall tirelessly listening to every clueless shopper's problems and dispensing gifting advice, she gets unwittingly conscripted to be a sounding board for Loretta's latest zingers about Leroy. Even worse is that the zingers aren't even that novel, Loretta's solicitation for "an offer" for her husband is essentially a rehash of the old "take my wife" line. No doubt the counselor, just like every other time, will politely ask Loretta to leave if she doesn't have a legitimate query. Push.
- I don't know about everyone of else, but I had to look up what exactly a "heffalump" was. From what I've read there really aren't any characteristic similarities between the heffalump and Leroy. The heffalumps don't appear to be lazy or slovenly or deeply unhappy. It seems Loretta referenced them solely on the basis that their name sounds like something that would just sit around the house all day. If anything, Leroy shares many of the same traits as the terminally depressed Eeoyore. Loretta still gets the point.
- Leroy's observation about Loretta's questionable food labeling really shows how truly awful Loretta's cooking skills are. Apparently her cooked dishes are so gross and disgusting that even she, the actual preparer of the dishes, is unsure about that they actually are after they are prepared. I had previously assumed that, no matter how terrible her creations came out, she would at least know what she was attempting to cook. The truth is it's pure anarchy. Leroy earns the point and ties the game up 1-1.
- Loretta comes up with a pretty sweet burn at Leroy's lack of direction. I can't really explain it but I thought her diss about Leroy driving in circles was above average. I am assuming Loretta is looking at a map and navigating, unless she actually wrote out her insult ahead of time and is reading it off her notes (I wouldn't put it past her). The ever proud Leroy left himself wide open to this assault from Loretta by refusing to ask for directions or utilizing a GPS device. Loretta goes up 2-1.
- Faced with the chance to prevent another Loretta Sunday victory and to salvage a tie in the fifth and final deciding panel, Leroy opts for a bizarre and ultimately pointless presentation to his friend about his homemade chart detailing his personal cellphone history. I'm not quite sure how one can even make a family tree of cellphone models. How exactly do two cellphones combine to give birth to a new model? An actual history of prior cellphones would just be a straight line indicating all the models Leroy went through. Loretta is sitting right there and this is the best he can offer? Loretta hangs on for the close 2-1 win.
Official Count:
Leroy - 12
Loretta - 19
Push - 5
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
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