Official Count:
Leroy - 87
Loretta - 93
Loretta - 93
Push - 63
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
August 28, 2011: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- While any span of time spent in the exclusive company of the Lockhorns is a tiring ordeal, it must be particularly exhausting for counselor Pullman to always be dissecting the one liners and puns shot between the Lockhorns for insights. For example, Pullman has to understand that Leroy's angry zinger about Loretta is actually a veiled complaint about the lack of proper communication in instances of conflict resolution in their marriage. Of course, when Leroy calls Loretta's mom an evil witch, that's often pretty literal. Leroy goes up 1-0.
- It looks like the Lockhorns went out to enjoy some fine dinning at the Mill Pound House in Centerport. Hopefully Leroy's insulting tip was due to his notoriously cheap nature and not in response to the sub par service of the establishment. The Lockhorns wield a lot of influence over the local Nassau county restaurant scene and a good or bad review can respectively boost or sink a business. I'm going to chalk this one up to Leroy being a tightwad and give Loretta proper credit for admonishing him about it. Loretta ties things up 1-1.
- I think it's a tad hypocritical for Loretta to refuse to loan a pair of scissors to Leroy due to concerns that he will damage them when she has personally borrowed and wrecked an entire fleet of cars for Leroy over the years. Whatever it takes to irritate Leroy, I suppose. I have to admit, Loretta looks down right matronly in her sofa chair knitting some sort of pink handkerchief; swap in a gray wig and slap on some old timey granny glasses and she'd be the splitting image of her mother. Now that would really get to Leroy. Loretta goes up 2-1.
- Some might find Leroy's comments and attitude to be sexist but I have say the ladies are really asking for it here. Loretta and her vicious circle are putting on quite an exaggerated display with their huddled postures, crazy eyes, and gaping mouths spewing forth what one can only assume is the juiciest gossip ever heard by human ears. I don't even think Leroy is resorting to hyperbole, I believe the amount of wind being generated by the women's frenzied gabbing is enough to simulate the feeling of being in a wind tunnel. Leroy ties things up 2-2 going into the final panel.
- Another incongruous cocktail party seemingly composed exclusively of unhappy middle aged couples with schlubby husbands and single gigantic busty Amazons. I want to know who's throwing these bizarre affairs. Tonight Leroy seems to have find a fellow ogling comrade in eyes to work on a particularly striking raven haired bimbo. She'll have to work extra hard to avoid their lecherous advances as the party continues. Loretta of course is ready with a quick put down of husbands in general, which appears to be of little comfort to her fellow suffering spouse. At least she gets the point and thrilling Sunday Showdown crown.
Official Count:
Leroy - 86
Loretta - 93
Loretta - 93
Push - 61
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
August 25, 2011
*Author's note: There is just something wholly unnatural about Loretta's body in this panel, so grossly disproportionate. Also, what are those like 2 lb weights? Leroy's a mess.
Official Count:
Leroy - 85
Loretta - 91
Loretta - 91
Push - 61
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
August 21, 2011: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- It appears that the harsh realities of the recent recession have even hit the once seemingly idyllic hamlet of Levittown, as the desperate economically disenfranchised turn to street muggings (although I'm not sure how successful they'll be operating in broad daylight wearing super conspicuous Hamburgler inspired outfits). Loretta should almost be rewarded two points for pulling a fast one on poor debt-ridden Leroy and the unlucky bandit that stole their worthless maxed out credit cards. Loretta goes up 1-0.
- Poor inept Leroy must have given his ball a power drive rather than a feather touch while on the putting green. To Leroy's defense, I went miniature golfing recently for the first time in over a decade and found myself on multiple occasions hitting the ball out the course. Putting is tough. I would not dismiss the possibility that Loretta has already found the ball and is actually hiding it in her hand so she can continue to watch him struggle and mock him some more. Loretta storms ahead 2-0.
- I find myself a little unsettled at the unusual angle of this panel. I was not prepared to get a rare top view glimpse of Leroy and his two hairs. Tech savvy Leroy looks like he's found a way to get a first generation iPod to crudely produce video in black lines on a white background. Or maybe it's some cheap off brand knockoff. Loretta does have a point, I never really got how anyone could enjoy any video beyond a short youtube clip over the tiny screen of a portable device. Even when device makers advertise how they have the largest screens, they are still a 1/10th of the size of the smallest TV. Wouldn't you agree, David Lynch? It looks like Loretta has already locked up the day with a 3-0 blitz. Maybe Leroy can salvage a little dignity.
- Loretta's attempt at an unprecedented total Sunday Showdown shutout is once again derailed by her awful cooking, by far her greatest vulnerability. It wasn't all that great a zinger by Leroy either. It isn't even addressed to the revolting quality of her food, just the fact that it's leftovers of the previous dinner. Although perhaps given Loretta's atrocious cooking abilities, there is a chance that Leroy may be complaining that she has been serving the same leftovers for the past month or so. That disgusting brownish pile does look kind of familiar. Leroy gets behind 3-1.
- Leroy reveals a disturbing new facet of Loretta's powerfully poor singing voice. We've always know that it was shrill and unpleasant for anyone unfortunate enough to be an audience to it, but according to Leroy it has some devastating subconscious viral quality to it that can literally kill you if you manage to get it stuck in your head. I'm not sure what the mechanism could be for such a deadly reaction but I envision people suffering sudden aneurysms and blood coming out of their noses. Leroy string two wins together and manages to make the day appear closer than it actually was, but Loretta coasts to another Sunday victory 3-2.
Official Count:
Leroy - 84
Loretta - 91
Loretta - 91
Push - 58
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
August 14, 2011: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- I don't think our sour-faced, cats-eye glasses wearing librarian is in any position to look down upon the Lockhorns for being old fashioned. She looks like a stock character from a 30's era screwball comedy. If she looked anymore conspicuously anachronistic she'd be Loretta's mother. With that being said, asking for a telephone directory at a public library is just about one of the most dated things you could possibly do, there are so many obsolete elements involved from using the directory, to not using the internet, to even remembering actual phone numbers (even using the phrase telephone directory instead of phone books sounds antiquated). Would we expect anything less from the Lockhorns? Push.
- Leroy puts up a pretty flimsy excuse for not going out enough with Loretta, but to his credit gas prices are pretty high. Also, Loretta is obviously exaggerating for the marriage counselor since every other day the Lockhorns are out and about complaining about restaurant service, ruining theater performances, and arguing at art exhibits. When they're feeling particularly extravagant, they'll even splurge for a miserable plane trip abroad complete with humiliating security search. The Lockhorns certainly get around. Leroy gets the point.
- Loretta might actually be helping Leroy out by not revealing the true cost of her out of control shopping addiction. If Leroy really knew the horrifying truth of the size of his debt, it would either sink him into an even more hopeless depression (if that's even physically possible at this point) or simply kill him with a shock heart attack (actually that may be beneficial for both parties involved). Loretta might also not be revealing her spending figures because even she can't accurately calculate the total staggering cost of her binges. Loretta ties Leroy 1-1.
- Speaking of Loretta's mother, what's a Sunday Showdown without everyone's favorite turn of the century schoolmarm making a visit to the Lockhorn homestead? Leroy wastes no time in making a comment at her expense to his adjacent friend. One can either read Leroy's crack about Loretta's mother's frequent escapes from her gated community as either implying that she is some sort of animal in a zoo or a hardened criminal in prison. Loretta and her mom are too busy playing some kind of crude mimic game to notice Leroy's comments. I'm leaning more towards animal. Leroy goes up 2-1.
- Say what you will about Leroy, he is definitely bold and fearless when it comes to ogling and pursuing giant bimbos. With no regard for his safety or others, he brazenly approaches the towering bimbo companion of an equally massive, but furious party goer. Maybe it's just due to depth perception but Leroy looks to be about half the height of the angry, freakishly long faced man. He'll be lucky if he can leave the party tonight with just another black eye. Loretta of course can only watch Leroy enter certain peril and crack an out of character technology referencing joke about Leroy's "browsing". I wonder if she is also implying that Leroy, like a browser without any security software, is also filled with many viruses. Leroy fails to seal the showdown, Loretta manages to salvage with a 2-2 push.
Official Count:
Leroy - 84
Loretta - 87
Loretta - 87
Push - 55
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
August 7, 2011: Sunday Showdown!
(Click to Enlarge)
Clockwise from the bottom left:
- Once again Loretta has managed to drag Leroy on another unwanted trek to an art museum (perhaps they are at the Met to catch the final day of the wildly popular Alexander McQueen exhibit). Loretta is always eager to force Leroy into these high culture field trips because, aside from making him unambiguously miserable, she gets an overwhelming home field advantage over the culturally dull Leroy. Today is a perfect example, as Loretta is all too eager to mock Leroy over his humiliating mistake of confusing a common light fixture for some sort of modern art piece. Loretta gets the point.
- My heart really goes out for poor Leroy in this scene. The combination of the unusually somber overhead angle, his body language indicating a sense of utter defeat, and the downright hopeless expression on his face make him look particularly pathetic. However, such conspicuous displays of pitiable vulnerability mean nothing to an ice cold assassin like Loretta. She seems to take even greater joy in swiftly kicking Leroy while he's down by saying she has absolutely no faith in him. She understands the brutal nature of the game. Loretta goes up 2-0.
- I think we all know that Leroy wouldn't remember whatever Loretta was wearing if she ever went missing. In all likelihood Leroy would probably be the one responsible for Loretta being missing in the first place. If Leroy is trying to pull a Loretta-style fashion critique on her about the ugliness of her dress, he may be getting the reasoning wrong. An especially heinous looking dress would be easier to remember rather than a reasonable looking one. I think he's just dropping less than subtle threats that if she doesn't return the dress he will murder her. Leroy gets on the board; it's still 2-1 Loretta.
- Two boxes in one Sunday Showdown? I don't like the looks of that. I hope this isn't the start of some gradual box caption takeover. I do not want to be around when the captions for an entire Sunday offering are entirely boxed in. That being said, it's a shame a Leroy isn't here for Loretta to cash in on this quality crack about Leroy's sloppy eating habits. Actually I think the gravy colored tie would be quite a versatile gift since almost everything Loretta cooks looks like lumpy gravy anyway. Loretta fails to lock up the day; she still leads 2-1.
- Leroy confides to his bizarro doppelganger about Loretta's uniquely antagonistic approach to reminiscing. With regards to just scene aesthetics, it is a nicely arraigned shot showing the parallelism between Leroy and Loretta. Loretta is also likely making some unflattering comment about Leroy to her raven haired doppelganger but unfortunately for her it's Leroy's line that gets the foreground and the caption. It's a shame, Loretta's seems a lot funnier. After going down two games off the bat, Leroy manages to salvage a 2-2 push.
Official Count:
Leroy - 83
Loretta - 84
Loretta - 84
Push - 52
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
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