Lockhorn Vs. Lockhorn

January 25, 2012

2012-01-25T19:04:00.001-05:00

Marital Deduction

Official Count:

Leroy - 9

Loretta - 11

Push - 5

January 24, 2012

2012-01-24T19:02:00.000-05:00

Fond Memories

Official Count:

Leroy - 8

Loretta - 11

Push - 5

January 23, 2012

2012-01-23T19:02:00.004-05:00

Cut The Cake

Official Count:

Leroy - 8

Loretta - 11

Push - 4

January 22, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

2012-01-22T15:41:00.003-05:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

These caption boxes have been appearing more and more frequently lately. I suppose I will have to get used to them as regular fixture of the 21st century Lockhorns. I enjoyed Leroy's particularly devastating candor with Loretta in this scene. It looks like something I would have adapted on a non-Sunday panel. There isn't really a pun or twist of logic here, this is basically Leroy telling Loretta to her face that he would rather look at basically any other female than her. I can't be too hard on Leroy's wandering eye this time, today's spotlighted bimbo appears to be less freakishly disproportionate than usual. Leroy gets the point.
Cheers to Loretta for emphatically putting the kibosh on Leroy's sleazy open shirt look. I noticed it in last week's final panel and I found it objectionable as well. There was just something off putting about seeing that balding, sack of potatoes of a man trying to pull off a look that makes even normal men look smarmy and unattractive. Additionally, the 70s style open shirt look was out of sync with the usual late 50s-early 60s fashion sense and world view of the Lockhorns. Loretta gets a well deserving point and ties the game up 1-1.
Going back once again to last week's Showdown, I wondered when the Lockhorns would eventually give up on their perennial New Year's fitness resolutions and embrace their pudgy legacy. It would appear that Leroy's resolve is starting to waiver. This is really a huge missed opportunity on Loretta's part to attack Leroy at a vulnerable state. It really doesn't get any easier than a depressed Leroy on the bathroom scale (also what is up with the upright gauge? Did they buy the scale second hand from a carnival weight guessing booth?). Perhaps Leroy saw that Loretta was occupied with brushing her teeth and knew the coast was clear to let loose a self deprecating comment. It's a push, the score remains tied 1-1.
In Leroy's defense, many times the GPS is guilty of incoherent directions and recalculating issues. There are also times where you know a route better than the GPS and it ends up adjusting its route to match your superior path. I am going to give Loretta the benefit of the doubt and assume Leroy is legitimately having a difficult time following the GPS's instructions (or possibly getting lost on purpose just to spite it). The Lockhorns' use of a GPS is another surprise display of tech savviness, though since standalone GPS systems for cars are gradually becoming obsolete maybe it shouldn't be so surprising (like Leroy's Blackberry use from, you guessed it, last week's Showdown). Loretta scores the point and take the lead 2-1.
Call my crazy but I believe most men would prefer a nice scotch on ice than a ticket to see a performance on ice (especially for some budget "Ice Follies" rip off called "Skate Follies"). I'm not sure Leroy would be too offended by Loretta's characterization of him as a scotch drinking, ice show hating lout. Still, there is the mockery of his alcoholism so it's still valid. I am oddly fascinated with the unusual walking posture of Leroy's mustachioed friend. He seems to have the gait of a velociraptor. Loretta earns another point to finish strong and clinches the day 3-1.

Official Count:

Leroy - 7

Loretta - 11

Push - 4

January 21, 2012

2012-01-21T07:41:00.001-05:00

Old Hat

Official Count:

Leroy - 7

Loretta - 10

Push - 4

January 20, 2012

2012-01-20T23:07:00.002-05:00

Professional Help

Author's Note: Although Leroy is not actually in the scene, I am going to assume he is within earshot of Loretta.

Official Count:

Leroy - 7

Loretta - 9

Push - 4

January 19, 2012

2012-01-19T23:12:00.001-05:00

Solid As A Meatloaf

Official Count:

Leroy - 7

Loretta - 8

Push - 4

January 18, 2012

2012-01-18T23:10:00.002-05:00

Work-Life Balance

Official Count:

Leroy - 6

Loretta - 8

Push - 4

January 17, 2012

2012-01-17T23:08:00.000-05:00

Howling Mad

Official Count:

Leroy - 6

Loretta - 7

Push - 4

January 16, 2012

2012-01-16T09:50:00.004-05:00

Democracy Inaction

Official Count:

Leroy - 5

Loretta - 7

Push - 4

January 15, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

2012-01-15T16:08:00.004-05:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

This panel takes a departure in terms of setting and perspectives for a typical Lockhorn dinner scene. Instead of the usual wide shot of the Leroy and Loretta sitting across from each other, sharing a meal of oddly colored shapes, today's scene goes for a more cinematic shot from slightly over Loretta's shoulder. I for one like it; it's a welcome change of pace. I am going to actually defend Loretta a little here: the steak, while probably still disgusting, doesn't look nearly as charred and inedible as Leroy claims it to be. Leroy gets the point.
Now that the Blackberry has declined into irrelevance amid the new wave of smart phones, it is not surprising in the least that Leroy is now a dedicated Blackberry user. Loretta's plan for obtaining Leroy's undivided attention appears flawed. Judging by the look of things, hiding Leroy's Blackberry has just made Leroy completely preoccupied with locating it. Additionally, why would Loretta even want Leroy's undivided attention in the first place? Still, you can't deny the hateful intent. Loretta gets the point and ties it up 1-1.
Just over two weeks into the new year and the Lockhorns are still doggedly pursuing their fitness resolutions. While their efforts are commendable, it seems to be a rather brutal approach to gauge your individual workout times by the amount of weight you lose while attempting them; it seems like something only boxers looking to quickly make weight before a match would do. If the Lockhorns intend to maintain this strict regimen, I would suggest to Loretta that she use an actual hand weight rather than a marching baton painted to look like a weight. It's a push, the score remains 1-1.
I love the look on Leroy's face in his wedding portrait, just an emphatic display of simultaneous terror, unhappiness, and revulsion. One wonders why Loretta would even allow such a large ghastly indictment of her marriage to be so prominently displayed in their living room. Maybe it's still the happiest looking picture from their wedding. Hopefully Leroy won't be too preoccupied with enjoying his victory over Loretta to avoid the two scalding not mugs of coffee she looks intent on throwing at him. Leroy goes up 2-1.
Loretta's comment to the hostess obviously points out that Leroy is a degenerate drunk, but what I don't get is why doesn't Loretta just drive the car home herself rather than give directions to a totally intoxicated Leroy while he struggles behind the wheel? Are we to believe that Loretta is so dangerously inept at driving that even she acknowledges that it's actually safer for everybody to have her yelling instructions to a near blackout drunk Leroy then to let her be the sober designated driver? I'm almost inclined to give the point to Leroy, but I'll take her insult at face value and give her the credit. The day ends in a 2-2 push.

Official Count:

Leroy - 5

Loretta - 6

Push - 4

January 14, 2012

2012-01-14T09:46:00.002-05:00

There's No Loretta In Team

Official Count:

Leroy - 5

Loretta - 6

Push - 3

January 13, 2012

2012-01-13T06:20:00.001-05:00

Fashionably Late

Official Count:

Leroy - 4

Loretta - 6

Push - 3

January 12, 2012

2012-01-12T22:56:00.002-05:00

Thrown Together Dinner

Author's Note: So Leroy is denied Loretta's cooking? Isn't this supposed to be a punishment?

Official Count:

Leroy - 4

Loretta - 5

Push - 3

January 11, 2012

2012-01-11T20:30:00.002-05:00

Forgive and Fidget

Official Count:

Leroy - 4

Loretta - 4

Push - 3

January 10, 2012

2012-01-10T20:30:00.001-05:00

Recipe For Disaster

Official Count:

Leroy - 4

Loretta - 3

Push - 3

January 9, 2012

2012-01-09T22:17:00.001-05:00

Border Control

Official Count:

Leroy - 3

Loretta - 3

Push - 3

January 8, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

2012-01-08T18:57:00.004-05:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

At first I was a little confused because it looked like Leroy was referring the the vanity table. I wondered what detail about this vanity table would make anyone suspect that animals were used in its construction. It makes a lot more sense for him to be commenting on the makeup on the table. What I still don't get is, why is he even up there with his unhappy friend in the first place? Did he really drag this poor acquaintance all the way up to his bedroom just so he can show him Loretta's makeup and make his comments? The fact that Loretta's not even there to be insulted makes his actions even more silly and pointless. Push.
I find it a little difficult to read what Leroy is scribbling all over his body. His right leg has "NO!" written on it, his right arms seems to say "DO NOT CUT", and I can't really read what's on his left arm. From what I can make out, it would appear to me that he's putting down warnings for the dentist not to cut off his other limbs; but that sounds too ridiculous even for Leroy. It would make slightly more sense if Leroy was hastily writing his will on his body before his dreaded tooth extraction. Despite the confusion, I'm going to give Loretta the point here since she's clearly being disdainful of whatever it is Leroy is doing. Loretta goes up 1-0.
The suggestion of going out for a sundae should most likely make Leroy happier but his reaction here to Loretta is that of discomfort and dread, clutching his bible with increasing desperation. Perhaps the sundae is going to be prepared by Loretta, which in that case would make it unimaginably disgusting and probably poisoned. There is definitely an ulterior motive afoot here and for that I have to once again award Loretta the point. Loretta widens her lead 2-0.
A simple gesture by Leroy but it more than gets the job done. Knowing what we know about Loretta's frightening driving record, there is no exaggeration in Leroy's celebration. Returning from a trip with Loretta behind the wheel without any physical trauma and the car seemingly unscathed is nothing short of a total miracle. The fact that she managed to park the car in the driveway instead of driving it straight into the living should be grounds for throwing a massive party. Leroy scores the point but it's still 2-1 Loretta.
Someone should tell Leroy that he doesn't have to agonize over culling only five individuals from his large personal list of people he wants to block from his cellphone. Almost all modern cellphones have the ability to block calls from as many contacts as necessary. Then again, the Lockhorns are not the most tech savviest of couples; frankly I'm surprised Leroy isn't using some monolithic 1980's Zack Morris cellphone. Despite the public insult, Loretta and her mom don't really seem to care. From the looks of it they are stoned out of their minds. Leroy gets the point and manages to force a push on the day.

Official Count:

Leroy - 2

Loretta - 3

Push - 3

January 7, 2012

2012-01-07T09:00:00.001-05:00

Chasing Tail

Official Count:

Leroy - 2

Loretta - 3

Push - 2

January 6, 2012

2012-01-06T08:58:00.000-05:00

Having It All

Official Count:

Leroy - 1

Loretta - 3

Push - 2

January 5, 2012

2012-01-05T08:56:00.002-05:00

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Official Count:

Leroy - 1

Loretta - 3

Push - 1

January 4, 2012

2012-01-04T08:54:00.000-05:00

Critical Acclaim

Official Count:

Leroy - 1

Loretta - 2

Push - 1

January 3, 2012

2012-01-03T08:40:00.000-05:00

Half Empty

Official Count:

Leroy - 0

Loretta - 2

Push - 1

January 2, 2012

2012-01-02T08:06:00.004-05:00

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

Official Count:

Leroy - 0

Loretta - 1

Push - 1

January 1, 2012: Sunday Showdown!

2012-01-01T21:18:00.005-05:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

A joke involving the Wagner opera "Tannhäuser"? When did "The Lockhorns" get so esoteric all of a sudden? Is this going to be a theme this year? Maybe I'm just an ignorant Philistine, but I actually had to look up what the heck Leroy was complaining about. At first glance, I originally thought the Lockhorns were in Germany for New Years and were walking to a train station called "Tannhäuser". Having established at least the subject of the panel, I still have no idea what's so funny about Leroy's complaint. Can you dumb it down a shade Lockhorns? This isn't an episode of "Fraiser". I'm going to assume, based on Loretta's unhappy demeanor that Leroy has offended her in some way and thus earns the first point of the year.
It took me a second to recognize the oddly shaped yellow mass on the ground at Leroy's feet as a football penalty flag. It's a pretty clever move on Loretta's part to admonish the football loving Leroy for holding the remote in football related terms. Personally, I've always wanted to do what Loretta did; carry around an official yellow penalty flag and throw it at people when I've subjectively deemed them to have committed a "penalty" in social situations whether it be making a highly offensive statement or double dipping chips. I just found that Amazon has a relatively extensive listing of such flags. Loretta earns the point and immediately ties things up at 1-1.
Loretta's gesture and comment about Leroy approaches something almost resembling affection. Of course the real heart of her actions was to prevent Leroy from feeling any kind of enjoyment by spitefully cock blocking him by reminding him he's still married to her and calling him a terrible mate in front of company. Let's not kid ourselves into thinking Loretta has suddenly gone soft. Loretta was right to make such a bold maneuver, this was a particularly sexy, scantily clad, wildly disproportionate, bimbo. You can feel the heat of Leroy's angry resentment coming off the screen. Loretta goes up 2-1.
I don't think there was any reason for anyone to think that Loretta was wearing a traditional promise ring. The Lockhorns don't need any help in maintaining their celibacy with each other. This is just Loretta heavily straining for an actual pun. Wouldn't any ring purchased by Leroy be a "promise ring"? Isn't this the basic principle of buying and selling an item? Every item Leroy has ever paid money for would fall under this lame categorization ("promise house", "promise television", "promise twin pack of BBQ Pringles"). Labored as it is, Loretta can still claim a point and locks up the day at 3-1.
Leroy makes a valid point to the marriage counselor about how poor communication between him and Loretta is a major factor in their unhealthy marriage. Clearly Loretta should try to better communicate her feelings and expectations to Leroy so he can better react to them. Of course, all this is if the Lockhorns were a real couple in a real marriage counselor's office actually trying to fix their marriage. In the crazy, dysfunctional, universe of the Lockhorns, Loretta may be literally expecting Leroy to read her mind. In either case, I suppose Loretta should work on being a better communicator. Leroy gets the point but Loretta takes the first Showdown of the year 3-2.

Official Count:

Leroy - 0

Loretta - 1

Push - 0

December 31, 2011

2011-12-31T09:24:00.002-05:00

New Year's Countdown

Official Count:

Leroy - 123

Loretta - 143

Push - 99

***

Leroy gets in the last point of the year but once again Loretta handily takes the 2011 "Lockhorn vs. Lockhorn" championship with 143 points to Leroy's 123. After an unfortunately preempted 2010 and a significant reformatting of the blog we can once again celebrate and fondly look back upon a full year of car smashing, binge drinking, mad shopping, flagrant philandering, and all the other entertaining, broadly stereotypical, antics our favorite dysfunctional married couple. I would like to congratulate Loretta for another season of insulting dominance; her cunning word play, clutch Sunday performances, and her sharp ability to notice and capitalize on even the most petty of Leroy's foibles made all the difference. As for Leroy, he should be proud of his generally improved performance from 2009 (he had an additional 12 wins) and work towards improving and expanding the types of situations where he can attack Loretta (she can only cook so many awful meals in a year). Finally, I'd like to thank you, the fans, for joining me in this year long tally of misery, scorn, bitterness, ridicule, and abject hatred. I'll see everyone in 2012 (which I'm betting will start with Leroy nursing a massive hangover and Loretta mocking him about it).

December 30, 2011

2011-12-30T09:18:00.002-05:00

Salon Showdown

Official Count:

Leroy - 122

Loretta - 143

Push - 99

December 29, 2011

2011-12-29T08:56:00.002-05:00

Early Celebration

Official Count:

Leroy - 121

Loretta - 143

Push - 99

December 28, 2011

2011-12-28T23:12:00.002-05:00

Anchor Man

Official Count:

Leroy - 121

Loretta - 142

Push - 99

December 27, 2011

2011-12-27T23:10:00.001-05:00

The Reality Dysfunction

Official Count:

Leroy - 121

Loretta - 141

Push - 99

December 26, 2011

2011-12-26T23:21:00.000-05:00

Many Happy Returns

Official Count:

Leroy - 121

Loretta - 141

Push - 98

December 25, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

2011-12-25T20:00:00.000-05:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

Ever the unrepentant philistine, Leroy is once again befuddled and unimpressed with his latest, what I must assume forced, trip to a local art museum. In Leroy's defense, the modern/abstract "art" he's criticizing looks more like something one would find on the cover of a trapper keeper or from the intro to "Saved By the Bell". I also find myself questioning the intrinsic value of this muddled, pastel colored, piece. I believe Loretta agrees with him as well, but refuses to give him the pleasure of being right. Leroy gets the first of the point day.
I am slightly perplexed at the meaning of Loretta's query in this panel. Why would Loretta think that Leroy needs to be carrying luggage? My best guess is that the garment bag is Loretta's and that she is suggesting Leroy carry it around all night in a humiliating display of subjugation. Perhaps he lost some kind of bet with Loretta and he has to do it. Thinking of it that way, Loretta's suggestion is more an implied order for Leroy to fetch her cumbersome garment bag (which may possibly be filled with heavy rocks). I'm giving Loretta the points. The score is tied 1-1.
Even on Christmas, Loretta's diabolical cruelty is unrelenting. While a less sadistic individual would have just denied Leroy a gift or given him an undesirable gift, Loretta has insidiously found a way to give Leroy a thoughtful present while still inflicting maximum misery upon him by selling the one possession he had that made the present useful. It's actually quite brilliant; in a grotesquely malevolent sort of way. I don't think even O. Henry could have anticipated this twist ending. Loretta earns the point and goes up 2-1.
The top right panel has fed Leroy all year long with an ever changing assortment of Loretta prepared meals to insult and this final panel is no different. Loretta serves up two plates of inedible, seemingly indestructible white slabs, ostensibly referring to them as steak, for dinner and Leroy is right there to drop an appropriate zinger about them. Where would Leroy be without the reliable security of that blessed right panel? Interestingly, this is the first time I can recall that Leroy has ever claimed he loved anything. Leroy ties the score 2-2.
As she has done all to often this year, Loretta notches the final Sunday Showdown of 2011 with a clutch performance in the fifth panel; this time in rather spectacular fashion. While Loretta has gained a reputation as a compulsively careless, dangerously inept motorist; her particularly cool demeanor makes me suspect that this accident may have been intentional. Aside from forcing Leroy to buy yet another new car for her to eventually demolish, Loretta may have been banking on terrifying Leroy into a fatal heart attack. While there's no way of proving it was a murder attempt, there is no denying she had a motive. Loretta gets the point and takes the final Showdown of the year 2011.

Official Count:

Leroy - 121

Loretta - 141

Push - 97

December 24, 2011

2011-12-24T09:30:00.000-05:00

Lump of Coal

Official Count:

Leroy - 121

Loretta - 140

Push - 97

December 23, 2011

2011-12-23T09:26:00.000-05:00

Holiday Programming

Author's Note: Since when was the original "Grinch" such an unrelatable story for men that a special male pandering version needed to be created? It's pretty universally beloved. Also, is it supposed to be a Christmas special or a Super Bowl special?

Official Count:

Leroy - 121

Loretta - 139

Push - 97

December 22, 2011

2011-12-22T21:02:00.000-05:00

Temptation

Official Count:

Leroy - 120

Loretta - 139

Push - 96

December 21, 2011

2011-12-21T20:57:00.003-05:00

Recycled Card Stock

Official Count:

Leroy - 120

Loretta - 139

Push - 96

December 20, 2011

2011-12-20T20:52:00.000-05:00

Stay(away)cation

Official Count:

Leroy - 120

Loretta - 138

Push - 96

December 19, 2011

2011-12-19T21:57:00.000-05:00

Hanging Lights

Official Count:

Leroy - 119

Loretta - 138

Push - 96

December 18, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

2011-12-18T10:38:00.005-05:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

Judging by the absurdly poor service, I suspect the Lockhorns are flying American Airlines this week (although given how well the seats accommodate the Lockhorns' freakishly large feet, they cannot possibly complain about the leg room). I do wonder sometimes if the Lockhorns are just extremely poor in selecting quality service providers (airlines, restaurants, mechanics, etc.) or it's just that they carry such an overwhelming aura of bleakness and negativity that it just causes everyone around them to become jerks. It makes you ponder: who is the real monster here? Is it the Lockhorns? Or is it the dehumanizing, alienating nature of modern society? Push.
I find this panel to be far more depressing and tragic than funny. It is difficult to find too much humor in seeing an older couple come to the harrowing self realization that they are in the grips of terminal senile dementia and have turned their house inside out to look for something they cannot even remember. I guess the crooked mirror and seeing all their stuff strewn about is a a slightly silly sight. Thinnest of silver linings: maybe eventually both their minds will be ravaged enough by their illness for them to forget how much they hate each other and then they'd briefly fall in love again. A depressing push, indeed.
Whenever I see a furious Loretta stomping towards Leroy, I think of the famous scene in Jurassic Park where the vibrating of cups of water foreshadows the arrival of a T-Rex. I can only imagine the other party goers ominously staring at the disturbances in their drink glasses and feeling the eerie tremors of Loretta's enraged, earth rattling stomps. In the face of such a frightening sight Leroy still commendably manages to get a quick dig in. Additionally, I also always imagined Loretta's voice and manner of speech to have sounded somewhat like Fran Drescher. Leroy scores the first point and goes up 1-0.
Are cats really attracted to the sound of a working can opener? As someone who never owned a cat, I never really thought out this. Wouldn't the same thing work with dogs?
I guess any sort of domesticated animal will develop some sort of Pavlovian reaction (learned through Pavlov's dogs) to repeated sounds associated with food. I didn't know this was such a specific thing with cats. Interestingly enough this may be one of the few times a living creature has been attracted to food "prepared" by Loretta. Push, Leroy still leads 1-0.
Not exactly sure what the insult Leroy is going for here. Is he saying that Loretta is a "clingy" person? Maybe Loretta "clings on" too much to her mother? Perhaps Loretta has "clung on" to many of her mother's negative qualities? Or should we just take it literally and he is saying that Loretta shares many of the attributes and temperament of the Klingon race from Star Trek. I have to admit she does sort of displays a similar fanatical devotion to combat and battle when it comes to mocking Leroy. Ambiguous as it may be, Leroy still gets the point and manages a unexpected 2-0 shut out victory; possibly his most dominant performance ever on a Sunday.

Official Count:

Leroy - 119

Loretta - 137

Push - 96

December 17, 2011

2011-12-17T14:04:00.003-05:00

Happy Ending

Official Count:

Leroy - 118

Loretta - 137

Push - 96

December 16, 2011

2011-12-16T14:02:00.001-05:00

Sampling

Official Count:

Leroy - 117

Loretta - 137

Push - 96

December 15, 2011

2011-12-15T19:35:00.000-05:00

Photographic Misery

Official Count:
Leroy - 117
Loretta - 136
Push - 96

December 14, 2011

2011-12-14T07:56:00.000-05:00

It's the Thought That Counts

Official Count:
Leroy - 116
Loretta - 136
Push - 96

December 13, 2011

2011-12-13T20:29:00.001-05:00

Spite Cycle

Official Count:
Leroy - 116
Loretta - 135
Push - 96

December 12, 2011

2011-12-12T20:40:00.004-05:00

Buckling Under

*Author's Note: With that point for Loretta, Leroy is now mathematically eliminated from winning the year. Congratulations Loretta! It's now just a victory lap for her from now until the official end of the year. To Leroy's credit, he has already fared much better than 2009, the last full year I covered. Perhaps he can work a strong finish to build on for next year.

Official Count:
Leroy - 115
Loretta - 135
Push - 96

December 11, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

2011-12-11T18:24:00.003-05:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

This may be some needless worrying by Leroy, odds are the Lockhorns won't have time to say goodbye as they are being abruptly thrown out of the party due to Leroy getting into a massive argument with another guest or drunkenly molesting a random bimbo on the dance floor (or perhaps both). Problem solved. It's interesting to note in this panel how de-emphasized the Lockhorns are in favor of the dashing looking couple at the door. Although I have to admit that serious mustache does deserve some top billing. It's a push.
Sometimes when Loretta throws out a particularly clever word pun, you have to take a step back, take a moment, and sort out your understanding of it. Often times this is jointly due to its cleverness and because it doesn't really much sense if you think about it. This is a pretty good example of that. I do like it though. One of the main character traits about both Lockhorns would be that they have "issues"; many, many, serious, varying "issues". Loretta gets the point and strikes the first blow.
If you want a clear example of why Leroy is currently trailing Loretta on the year and is quite likely going to lose out to her, it is this scene. Here you have Loretta with a container of her rancid leftovers (complaining about the quality of it no less!) and Leroy just lets it go. Time and time again, missed opportunities and lack of focus have doomed Leroy down the stretch. There is no reason why he should leave this scene without a point. It all comes down to taking advantage of every break and scoring on those panels you're supposed to score on; something Leroy has to improve upon if he wants future success. It's a push, Loretta still leads 1-0.
Leroy's evaluation of Loretta's second frame would seem to indicate that she only knocked down the lead one pin in her first frame. I never bowled enough to get all the rules and nuances of the game but if that's the case, is it even possible to exclusively knock the lead pin over without disturbing the others? That must have been a ridiculous throw! Secondly, this highly unlikely second frame would still be easier to split than any other split situation I can imagine. So given the unusual scenario, Loretta appears to be in the best possible position to attempt a win. It's still technically taunting by Leroy so I'll give him the point. It's all tied up 1-1.
I am going to assume that the "Peter's Beauty Salon" being referenced in the panel is "Anthony Peters Hair Salon" on Hempstead Turnpike in East Meadow. It is geographically consistent with the Lockhorns' location. While one of its two reviews on Yelp does criticize the quality of their hair styling service, there is no mention of the aggressively mean-spirited lady at the front counter making jokes at your expense when it comes to account balances. Although it hasn't been reflected in their Yelp ratings, a negative portrayal like this in a Lockhorns panel will ultimately lead to a lot of PR damage, just ask the surly crew over at the Lawrence Hill Service Station. Another push leads to an uneventful 1-1 overall stalemate.

Official Count:
Leroy - 115
Loretta - 134
Push - 96

December 10, 2011

2011-12-10T11:10:00.003-05:00

Unsuitable

Official Count:
Leroy - 115
Loretta - 134
Push - 95

December 9, 2011

2011-12-09T11:03:00.001-05:00

Gossip Girl

Official Count:
Leroy - 115
Loretta - 133
Push - 95

December 8, 2011

2011-12-08T22:38:00.003-05:00

Gross Tonnage

Official Count:
Leroy - 114
Loretta - 133
Push - 95

December 7, 2011

2011-12-07T07:57:00.002-05:00

Cogito Ergo Dumb

Official Count:
Leroy - 114
Loretta - 132
Push - 95

December 6, 2011

2011-12-06T07:18:00.004-05:00

Faulty Tasking

*Author's note: Leroy must really be starving if he's resorting to eating one of Loretta's ink sandwiches.

Official Count:
Leroy - 113
Loretta - 132
Push - 95

December 5, 2011

2011-12-05T22:31:00.002-05:00

Heavy Lifting

Official Count:
Leroy - 113
Loretta - 131
Push - 95

December 4, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

2011-12-04T10:05:00.005-05:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

I particularly enjoyed Loretta's riff on her "fairy-tale romance" with Leroy. A troll is the perfect description of Leroy, really both Lockhorns in general. They're short, stout, ugly creatures who live miserable, isolated lives, devoid of any joy or happiness, and are rarely helpful to humans. One minor criticism, however, would be that Loretta's lament really doesn't apply to the situation at hand. It's not like he's luring children under a bridge so he can eat them or that he is looking extra troll-like. A witty lament about Leroy's philandering would have been the obvious way to have gone. Minor objections aside though, it's a solid point. Loretta leads 1-0.
Loretta manages to preempt an insult by Leroy about her awful cooking and accomplishes the remarkable feat of getting a point out of it herself by taking bold ownership of her disgusting dish. If Loretta manages to master this new technique and adds it to her already formidable repertoire, it will have disastrous consequences for Leroy whose main bread and butter is mocking Loretta's horrible meals. We can only wait and see, Loretta goes up 2-0.
A "things not to do" list, I suspect, would be a lot longer than a "things to do" list, so Leroy shouldn't be more disappointed. Perhaps, the severity of the things he is "not to do" is much higher. All this is really an exercise in abject futility; regardless of "to do" list or "not to do" list, Leroy is not going to be getting out of that recliner for anything. Loretta is just wasting her time by coming up with these lists and exposing herself to avoidable mockery by Leroy by presenting them to him. Leroy wins the point, Loretta leads 2-1.
Leave it to "The Lockhorns" to find humor in a terrifying late night home invasion. Actually, this crazy setup could make for a decent comedy sketch. The humor is pretty broad and obvious, but I can see a mildly amusing 3 to 4 minute bit about a home security alarm salesman who makes cold call pitches to people by coming into their bedrooms in the middle of the night to demonstrate how compromised their homes are. The couple's reaction has to be shock and horror at first but the sketch would end with them being unexpectedly won over and happily signing up for service. The whole thing writes itself. Push, still 2-1 Loretta.
Leroy may be exercising a little bit of tact here with the furniture salesman. He could just as easily have said "I hate my wife and I find it difficult to sleep in the same bed with her all the time" as another reason for a foldout couch, but he went with the equally valid but slightly less awkward explanation. One thing's for sure, Leroy is definitely going to be sleeping out the foldout tonight. Leroy manages to win the final panel to get himself a push for the day. It's better than the alternative but he'll need string some wins under his belt if he has any chance of coming back and winning the year.

Official Count:
Leroy - 112
Loretta - 131
Push - 95

December 3, 2011

2011-12-03T18:07:00.004-05:00

Wedding Day Advice

Official Count:
Leroy - 112
Loretta - 131
Push - 94

December 2, 2011

2011-12-02T18:03:00.001-05:00

Body By Victoria

Official Count:
Leroy - 112
Loretta - 131
Push - 93

December 1, 2011

2011-12-01T18:01:00.003-05:00

Bus Stopped

Official Count:
Leroy - 112
Loretta - 131
Push - 92

November 30, 2011

2011-11-30T07:37:00.004-05:00

Dim Bulb

Official Count:
Leroy - 112
Loretta - 131
Push - 91

November 29, 2011

2011-11-29T20:32:00.002-05:00

Utilizing Discretion

Official Count:
Leroy - 112
Loretta - 131
Push - 90

November 28, 2011

2011-11-28T07:42:00.002-05:00

To The End

Official Count:
Leroy - 112
Loretta - 131
Push - 89

November 27, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

2011-11-27T10:16:00.004-05:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

Not only does Loretta get herself a swift dig at Leroy, but her clever play on the old "cat got your tongue" axiom is also a cutting commentary on the decline of verbal conversation in the text-centric digital age. I do wonder what Leroy is doing on the computer. I suspect that he may be engaged in some kind of bitter flame war with another equally angry, misanthropic crank. Leroy also looks like the sort of person that goes around the comments sections of internet sites leaving unrelated rambling negative commentary, mostly about the evils of marriage and possibly about how Obama is a socialist. Loretta goes up 1-0.
At most Leroy could be found guilty of four of the seven deadly sins: he has lust for all the towering bimbos he ogles in public and dances with at parties; one of his defining characteristics is his terminal laziness or sloth; both Lockhorns live in a constant state of hate and anger, sometimes exploding into rage and all the time simmering (seriously have you not seen the comic?); and one can assume that Leroy is envious of anyone he meets that's fortunate enough to have gotten married. As for greed, that's really Loretta's territory and with Loretta's cooking, Leroy can never be accused of being a glutton. Still, Loretta gets the point and goes up 2-0.
After a relatively long absence it's good to see that Dr. Blog has not lost his trademark winning bedside manner. The comment is so reminiscent of Loretta's usual clever style that it's almost as if she sent him the line ahead of time to use (a possibility that I'm not willing to totally throw out). I do wonder how Leroy can gain so much weight despite not having had an edible cooked meal in decades. There must be a secret stash of junk food somewhere in the house. It's a push. Loretta leads 2-0.
Loretta showing restraint at a clothing store? Have we entered a backwards, bizarro universe where up is down and wrong is right? Have the grim realities of the Great Recession finally penetrated Loretta's shielded consciousness? Maybe Leroy has finally wrestled some degree of influence over her ruinous spending habits. I have to consider Loretta's evaluation of what constitutes a reasonable price for an article of clothing, however, to be highly, highly subjective. I'm sure whatever "reasonable" purchase she makes will still cause plenty of damage. No Leroy present means it's a push. Loretta's 2-0 lead preemptively locks up the day.
Not merely content with the guaranteed win, Loretta puts on an ostentatious display of bravado by running up the score in a shut out. The destruction isn't even limited to Leroy, she directs her reductive, cliched barbs at the male population at large! The 3% of my brain not devoted to thinking about sports is certainly feeling burned by Loretta's trenchant strike. I think I'll go watch some sports. Loretta reestablishes her Sunday dominance after two winless weeks with the most dominant Sunday performance I can recall.

Official Count:
Leroy - 112
Loretta - 130
Push - 89

November 26, 2011

2011-11-26T14:36:00.002-05:00

Red Alert

Official Count:
Leroy - 112
Loretta - 129
Push - 89

November 25, 2011

2011-11-25T10:00:00.002-05:00

Five Wrongs Make A Right

Official Count:
Leroy - 111
Loretta - 129
Push - 89

November 24, 2011

2011-11-24T09:43:00.003-05:00

Stuffing Time

Official Count:
Leroy - 110
Loretta - 129
Push - 89

November 23, 2011

2011-11-23T09:40:00.002-05:00

A Mother's Touch

Official Count:
Leroy - 110
Loretta - 128
Push - 89

November 22, 2011

2011-11-22T09:38:00.001-05:00

Mail Snail

Official Count:
Leroy - 109
Loretta - 128
Push - 89

November 21, 2011

2011-11-21T09:36:00.002-05:00

Circular Logic

Official Count:

Leroy - 109

Loretta - 127

Push - 89

November 20, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

2011-11-20T22:42:00.001-05:00

Click to Enlarge

Clockwise from the bottom left:

It looks like Loretta's dirty little secret is out. Many of those wickedly sardonic glances and enraged dagger shooting looks of hers have been artificially enhanced all these years. Who knows what else she's been hiding from us? Perhaps that's not her natural hair color (or maybe even hair). Maybe she's been stuffing her shoes this whole time as well. I also question Loretta's excessive concern over the fate of her fake eyelashes. How much damage could Leroy possibly do to her fake eyelashes with a fly swatter. It's a wonderfully ridiculous scene. Leroy gets the early lead 1-0.
Ah the vintage ice bag placed over the head, the universal symbol of someone not feeling unwell; although I don't think I've ever seen them being used outside of the Lockhorns and movies made before 1970. If I were a betting man, I'd wager the particular ailment Leroy is trying to recover from to be another raging hangover from a night of binge cocktail consumption. Of course Loretta is right to assume that a heavily hung over Leroy must feel unbearably old; but one can argue that, on a different level, Leroy might feel as youthful as a young college frat boy recovering from a night of hard partying. Still Loretta gets the point to tie things up 1-1.
I had to give this panel much consideration before ruling it as push. The scene is going to two directions. On one had you have a frustrated Leroy, who had to miss one of his beloved football games to be subjected to the torture of the masterwork of the immortal bard (Loretta sure loves forcing him to see "Hamlet"). On the other hand, Loretta's unhappy expression would seem to indicate that Leroy has managed to spitefully ruin the play for her as well with his simmering negativity (the fellow unhappy audience member walking out in the back seems to share Loretta's disappointment. Given the conflicting scenario, I had to rule it a push; 1-1.
I'm not sure if Leroy really knows what he's talking about when referencing apps. I suspect he might have just heard about these things called "apps" on the news or while conversing with a younger co-worker and decided to incorporate it somehow into his next rank out of Loretta. Unfortunately for the counselor, he got to be the initial audience for its first use. I do wonder what a Leroy replacing app would actually do. Frequently insult the user? Track nearby bimbos with GPS? Just sit around the dashboard and do nothing? Come to think of it, there's a rich mine of Leroy put downs associated with thinking up a Leroy app; Loretta really dropped the ball here. Leroy escapes with a point. He takes the lead 2-1.
After decades of frustrating meetings, threatening letters, and a perpetual cycle of never ending audits it would appear from all the high fives and chest pounds that the IRS finally has enough evidence to once and for all put Leroy in prison. With Wesley Snipes scheduled for release in 2013 the IRS is eager to look for a new high profile tax cheat to make an example of. As for seizing any valuable assets to help make up the difference...well they might be in for a disappointment. Despite the prospect of federal prison time, the push ensures Leroy an exceedingly rare Sunday Showdown victory 2-1; and keeps his faint hopes alive for a late year comeback.

Official Count:
Leroy - 108
Loretta - 127
Push - 89

November 19, 2011

2011-11-19T07:50:00.002-05:00

Mall Madness

Official Count:
Leroy - 107
Loretta - 127
Push - 89

November 18, 2011

2011-11-18T22:19:00.002-05:00

Valued Employee

Official Count:
Leroy - 107
Loretta - 127
Push - 88

November 17, 2011

2011-11-17T19:36:00.000-05:00

The Last Supper

Official Count:
Leroy - 107
Loretta - 126
Push - 88

November 16, 2011

2011-11-16T20:59:00.002-05:00

Spelunking

Official Count:
Leroy - 106
Loretta - 126
Push - 88

November 15, 2011

2011-11-15T07:39:00.001-05:00

Bedtime Story

Official Count:
Leroy - 106
Loretta - 126
Push - 87

November 14, 2011

2011-11-14T18:45:00.002-05:00

Vintage Model

*Author's note: Pretty unflattering portrayal of the customer service provided at the Lawrence Hill Service Station in Huntington. I can't imagine they'd be too happy with this plug.

Official Count:
Leroy - 105
Loretta - 126
Push - 87

November 13, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

2011-11-13T10:49:00.004-05:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

It's another fruitless session over at the marriage counselor's office. I feel bad for poor Pullman. It's terrible enough that every time he meets with the Lockhorns he is updated on what a futile waste of time all this "counseling" is, but that it's almost always delivered via puns and zingers is insult to injury. I imagine that rather than taking any real notes he just writes despondent questions to himself like "why are you here?" and "is the money really worth all this?". It's a push.
Am I missing something here? Where exactly is the joke here? What I see is Loretta telling the home contractor what she expects of her remodeled kitchen. What is the big payoff? I guess, going by what I know of the traditional structure of jokes, I'm assuming the last line about a "larger junk drawer" is supposed to be the kicker. Perhaps this is something that people don't normally request when looking to improve their kitchens. However, this can be reasonably implied as just a request for bigger drawers. The fact that I'm going through this analysis in the first place shows how sub par this panel is. Let's call it a push and move on, still 0-0.
There we go, a straightforward dig at Leroy's characteristic cheapness. Boom! Had Loretta not beaten him to the punch, Leroy could have actually used his liability as a miser against Loretta by embarrassing her with a query about a dollar menu. That would have made Loretta think twice about dragging him out to another snobby, overpriced (just look at that cartoonish waiter and tell me it's not snobby and overpriced) restaurant next time. On a tangential note, I am fascinated at the level of detail of the portrait on the wall given how superfluous it is to the scene. Loretta goes up 1-0.
This scene may be one of the only times you will see both Lockhorns mutually happy. I find this shot of Leroy and Loretta across from each other competitively glaring at one another, ready to do fierce battle over a minor domestic dispute (though it's still a more realistic subject to base an arm wrestling match over than child custody) to so perfectly capture the spirit of "The Lochorns" that it should be adapted as the logo of the series. I believe the Lockhorns would get along a lot better if all their disputes were decided this way. It's a push, Loretta lead 1-0.
I'm not sure how Leroy ever managed to pull off watching a football game while Loretta apparently cleans the entire house (arm wrestling victory?) but it is a spectacular coup. The mere sight alone of Leroy lazily reclining and enjoying the game while Loretta stands there with burdened with cleaning gear, setting back the women's movement a good fifty years, would have been enough for Leroy; but he applies the exclamation point with his spiteful, mocking line about rooting for her at halftime. Leroy earns the point and, on a weaker than usual Sunday Showdown, forces the push.

Official Count:
Leroy - 105
Loretta - 126
Push - 86

November 12, 2011

2011-11-12T11:20:00.002-05:00

New Age Girl

Official Count:
Leroy - 105
Loretta - 126
Push - 85

November 11, 2011

2011-11-11T11:18:00.000-05:00

Check Out

Official Count:
Leroy - 104
Loretta - 126
Push - 85

November 10, 2011

2011-11-10T11:16:00.000-05:00

Progression

Official Count:
Leroy - 104
Loretta - 126
Push - 84

November 9, 2011

2011-11-09T11:13:00.000-05:00

Resisting His Charms

Official Count:
Leroy - 104
Loretta - 126
Push - 83

November 8, 2011

2011-11-08T11:11:00.002-05:00

Make Up Vex

Official Count:
Leroy - 104
Loretta - 125
Push - 83

November 7, 2011

2011-11-07T11:08:00.002-05:00

Life In The Parking Lot

Official Count:
Leroy - 103
Loretta - 125
Push - 83

November 6, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

2011-11-06T22:42:00.001-05:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

Leroy's continuing (and totally anachronistic) battle with home phone calling telemarketers reaches a new level of antagonism with Leroy attempting to cause physical damage to the poor random telemarketer via an air horn. While I agree with the sentiment, I think the air horn crosses the line as an appropriate response; that can really hurt somebody. I'd like to say that this is just a scene from the exaggerated world of the Lockhorns but there probably must have been at least one incident where that happened in real life. Loretta's chastising of Leroy isn't exactly an insult per se but it does point out Leroy's foible and is still enough to warrant a point. Loretta goes up 1-0.
The Lockhorns move away from an outdated general complaint to an actually highly relevant one, constant delays at the airport. I don't really fly too often so I don't know if this is supposed to be a ridiculous request. I know the Lockhorns aren't ones for subtle humor. It seems reasonable and logical in my view. If a previous flight to the same location is so late that you are on time for it and it's not full, why not transfer? Additionally I think Leroy and Loretta should switch bags, his shoulder bag looks like a purse and her purse looks like a tiny suitcase. Push, 1-0 Loretta.
I've seen a lot of disturbing and traumatizing sights covering the Lockhorns over the years and this horrifying image of Leroy straining to put on a tiny pair of pants ranks right up there. You just can't un-see this stuff afterwards. Judging by the grotesque strain that these, somehow still composed, pants are putting on Leroy and his utterly deluded, seemingly suicidal, compulsion to fit into them; there may be a chance that Leroy's stomach, liver, and pancreas may suffer severe damage. I'm sure Loretta will have a witty comment about that too if it happens. Loretta goes up 2-0.
Telling Loretta to go faster? Does Leroy really want to go down this treacherous road? Did he not feel the chilly fall air that's been coming through the car sized hole in his living room this past week? For that matter, why is he even letting her drive right now? Is he trying in vain to give her driving lessons? Actually the issue of Loretta's driving speed is probably moot since her driving history has shown that she is, like the title of Ralph Nader's famous book, "unsafe at any speed" (which would have been a dynamite headline if this was a weekly panel). Also, I just noticed that neither of them are wearing seat belts. Carelessness or death wish? Leroy gets the point. It's still 2-1 Loretta.
Sometimes I do enjoy some straightforward, unmitigated meanness from Loretta. She doesn't bother with any clever wordplay or biting observations or sardonic wit; she just ignores adjusting Leroy's alarm clock for daylight savings so he would be late waking up. This is about as subtle and nuanced as batting Leroy over the head with a club. This simple act of malice though will most likely net Loretta further points in the long run since Leroy's tardiness will hurt his status at work which will lead to lost promotions and raises for Loretta to ridicule in the future. I do wonder however, why it would appear Leroy is heading out to work on a Sunday; perhaps he has some important meeting with a client. Loretta rolls to another Sunday victory 3-1.

Official Count:
Leroy - 103
Loretta - 124
Push - 83

November 5, 2011

2011-11-05T22:40:00.000-04:00

Rich Man Poor Man

Official Count:
Leroy - 103
Loretta - 123
Push - 83

November 4, 2011

2011-11-04T22:38:00.000-04:00

The Medium Is The Message

Official Count:
Leroy - 103
Loretta - 122
Push - 83

November 3, 2011

2011-11-03T22:36:00.000-04:00

Drift Away

Official Count:
Leroy - 102
Loretta - 122
Push - 83

November 2, 2011

2011-11-02T22:33:00.000-04:00

Bad Dresser

Official Count:
Leroy - 102
Loretta - 122
Push - 82

November 1, 2011

2011-11-01T22:31:00.000-04:00

Dinner For None

Official Count:
Leroy - 102
Loretta - 121
Push - 82

October 31, 2011

2011-10-31T22:28:00.002-04:00

All Skin and Bones

Official Count:
Leroy - 102
Loretta - 120
Push - 82

October 30, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

2011-10-30T22:12:00.001-04:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

It is a little ambiguous as to what Leroy was referring to as looking new. I really hope he was talking about the suitcases. This exchange better not be about the bed sheets or some sort of (ugh) sexy lingerie or (barf) contraceptives or anything else connected with the Lockhorns' honeymoon which may suggest something dangerously close to intimate relations. Also, what's the deal with all the purple shirts in the closest? It's incongruous with either Lockhorns' usual attire. Loretta gets the point.
Leroy makes the fatal mistake of walking with Loretta down the street where long time Huntington institution Freedman Jewelers is located (which is apparently 345 New York Ave). He should know by now that bringing Loretta anywhere near a store selling luxury items is a recipe for disaster and ruin. He should actually consider himself lucky that Loretta is merely threatening him to buy her expensive jewelry on her birthday. She could just as easily have manhandled him into the store and emptied his bank account right then and there. Loretta still earns the point however and takes a commanding 2-0 lead.
So, the Lockhorns' scale is supposed to be connected the the internet or something? I will give them due credit, a complaint about the ubiquity of short adverts on the internet and in movie theaters is actually timely and relevant (ever read the vicious comments on a youtube video with Vevo content? They are not pleased.). It's still sort of a waste to use such a high potential scene to make the complaint though. Anytime you have a Lockhorn on top of a bathroom scale and neither side ends up scoring a point off a fat joke, it's a definite shame. Push, Loretta still leads 2-0.
This is quite possibly one of the most insane Lockhorn panels I have ever seen. Loretta's recklessness behind the wheel reaches an outrageous new level with her managing to miss the garage entirely and driving directly into the living room. Leroy didn't even have to say anything, the mere sight of a confused looking Loretta, both hands clutching the wheel, vacantly looking out into her living room from her totaled car would have been enough for a point on its own. The ludicrously out of whack perspective between Loretta in the car and Leroy and his friend is just the delicious cherry on top. Leroy cuts the lead down to 2-1.
A big reason for Loretta's historic success with Sunday showdowns has been her great ability to close out the final panel. Whenever things get close coming down to the last scene, Loretta more often then not will manage to get in that clutch final zinger. She doesn't get too clever or cute or, sometimes, even funny; she just gets the points she needs. Today is a perfect example, with Leroy threatening to salvage a tie, Loretta locks it down with an ancient chestnut of a line about "right" brained people. Call it lame, call it a point. Loretta takes the day 3-1.

Official Count:
Leroy - 101
Loretta - 120
Push - 82

October 29, 2011

2011-10-29T09:45:00.001-04:00

Put A Ring On It

Official Count:
Leroy - 101
Loretta - 119
Push - 82

October 28, 2011

2011-10-28T23:55:00.001-04:00

Couch Potato

Official Count:
Leroy - 101
Loretta - 119
Push - 81

October 27, 2011

2011-10-27T23:53:00.000-04:00

Odd Job

Official Count:
Leroy - 101
Loretta - 118
Push - 81

October 26, 2011

2011-10-26T23:51:00.000-04:00

Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Aack!

Official Count:
Leroy - 100
Loretta - 118
Push - 81

October 25, 2011

2011-10-25T23:49:00.000-04:00

Keep the Change

Official Count:
Leroy - 99
Loretta - 118
Push - 81

October 24, 2011

2011-10-24T23:27:00.001-04:00

Hold the Line

Official Count:
Leroy - 98
Loretta - 118
Push - 81

October 23, 2011: Sunday Showdown!

2011-10-23T22:09:00.002-04:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Clockwise from the bottom left:

To be fair, bacon fragrances have made great progress into the mainstream and there is clearly a wider audience of bacon scent enthusiasts out there outside of just the lazy slobbish Leroy types. I do caution Loretta however about dabbling in any food related perfumes, lest she actually wants a display of genuine attraction and possible physical interest from Leroy. The man has been denied the tastes and scents of edible food for so long there is no telling what his sudden reaction would be. It's a push.
Once again I sort of have to come to Leroy's defense. He is clearly guilty of his usual shameless ogling but can you really blame the man? What kind of library is this anyway? There is nothing on the Levittown Public Library website to indicate that it is staffed by towering sexy librarian fetish models (seriously, she must be 8 feet tall with that massive beehive). I think any patron, male or female, would find such a sight working the circulation desk to be unavoidably distracting. Still, Loretta is entitled to a point for calling Leroy out. The score stands 1-0.
It appears Leroy still hasn't grasped the concept of a wireless phone. He doesn't have to stand next to the receiver like that while he's on hold. I always dislike Lockhorn panels involving telephone problems. The only thing worse than Leroy complaining about long waits on the line is when he makes outdated complaints about telemarketers interrupting dinners. It's a shame that they had to use the big prime central panel for this tired non-joke. What a waste. It's another push, Loretta leads 1-0.
Given his hellish home situation, it is surprising that we don't get more scenes of Leroy avoiding Loretta and drinking his troubles away at Arthur's (really what is the difference between Leroy and fellow sad sack, wife hating, alcoholic Norm from Cheers?). I smell a spin off series here: a daily panel involving Leroy and his fellow degenerate barflies, swilling beer, bantering with the oddly shaped bartender (you know he's got a story to tell), and making sardonic observations about their unhappy lives. Yet another push, Loretta is still holding onto that 1-0 lead.
I enjoyed Loretta's twist on the old axiom about clothes making the man. It's also quite true. Often times Leroy will be pretty sharply dressed while making an obnoxious ass of himself at a soon to be ex-acquaintance's cocktail party. Judging by the glazed look on his face and his sedated posture he is well on his way to either getting into a random fistfight or grinding up on some unsuspecting bimbo party guest. Proactive Loretta didn't even bother waiting for those slam dunk opportunities before slamming him. This is one of the reasons why she is comfortably ahead in the yearly standing and has locked down another Sunday Showdown 2-0.

Official Count:
Leroy - 98
Loretta - 118
Push - 80